Page 139 of Throne of Dreams
Maeve was breaking. She tried to focus on what he was saying, but the power inside her was churning, begging for release. It roiled and flared, a storm all its own. After one shaky breath, she poured her magic into him. It rose up, vast and pulsing, so that Shay’s entire body seemed to glow. She urged more, called to it, pulled it from that well deep inside. Her body trembled, drawing on the power radiating from her. The air pulsed yet nothing happened. The swell of magic simply hovered over him, as though searching for a way to mend and heal, to try to save what was going to be lost, but there was nothing to be done. Her magic wasn’t enough this time.
The fates were cruel.
His cold hand covered hers. “It’s too late for me, Maeve.”
“No, no, it’s not.” Her words were rushed, spilling from her. “I can save you. I know I can.”
Maeve would not let him die. She’d lost so much already. Gods, she’d lost everything. Her heart—she could feel it breaking. All those old wounds were rushing to the surface. All the heartache, the trauma, the suffering. She’d failed so many. She could not fail her brother, too.
Again, he coughed. Blood trickled from the corner of his mouth.
She was losing time.
“My lady.” Lir’s voice sounded from somewhere above her, and the warmth from his hand spread along her shoulder. “Nothing can be done. This is beyond…beyond even magic.”
She shook her head, refusing to believe it. No. Her magic waspower. Her magic was the life source, the soul of a fucking goddess. She had to save him. Darkness swirled inside her—her past come to life. All the things she sheltered and shoved away. She swallowed as Shay’s eyes closed. Maeve captured his cheeks with her bloody hands. She rubbed her thumbs back and forth, streaking blood across his pallid skin, willing the life back into his eyes.
“Don’t die on me!” she screamed. “Don’t you dare die on me!”
His eyes, those beautiful eyes that were such an exact match to her own, squinted open. He gasped.
“I’m sorry, Maeve. I’m sorry I can’t stay and…” Shay’s chest rumbled, wheezed, as he struggled to breathe. “And get to know you.”
“You can,” she whispered. “You will.”
Her hands, coated in his blood, hovered over him, trembling. Before her, he blurred. Proof of her tears. If her power couldn’t keep him alive, then perhaps it could ease some of his pain. The glow of her magic wrapped around him like ribbons of gossamer silk, and though his heart continued to beat far too slowly, the sibling bond between them suddenly frayed. Like it was unraveling…about to snap.
Terror gripped her.
His throat worked as he tried to speak again and Maeve pressed her own lips together, willing him not to speak. “Don’t.”
“You look like her…you know,” he rasped. “Our mother. You h-have her eyes.”
Maeve’s heart contorted, like it was wrenched from inside her chest. Her shoulders shuddered and she hastily swiped away her tears. “They’re your eyes, too.”
His smile was brief, then it faltered.
“No. Shay, please,” she begged. Lir was right. There was nothing she could do. She was helpless. “Please.”
“Believe me.” He reached up and ran one finger along her cheek. She held his hand to her, warm life against the cold of death. “If things had been different…I would have loved you…from the moment you took your first breath.”
The hand she kept pressed to her fell limp and Shay’s eyes drifted close for the last time. It was as though a piece of her heart had been carved out. The pain sliced through her, hot and fast, severing the sibling bond, cutting it in half.
“Shay!” Maeve shrieked. She didn’t care if her wailing wouldn’t bring him back. It was all she had, it was all she could do. “Shay!”
Lir knelt beside her. “Let him go, little bird. You have to let him go.”
“I—I can’t.” Her watery gaze met his. “I can’t do it by myself.”
He nodded, lips pressing into a thin line. Then he slowly slid Shay’s lifeless hand from her grasp, laying it across his heart.
Tears ravaged her and the air simply wouldn’t come. Erratic, choking sobs escaped from her, and her chest heaved and ached. Her head fell back, the agony of losing Shay too much to bear. She was broken. Useless. What good was the soul of a goddess, what good was being the life source of magic, if she couldn’t save the lives of those she cared for the most?
“I couldn’t save him.” The words trembled as they fell from her lips. Brynn knelt and took Maeve’s shuddering body into her arms. “I tried, but I couldn’t. I failed him. Just like I failed all the others. They’re all dead because of me.”
“No.” Lir’s firm voice cut through her cries. “They are dead because of Parisa. Do not carry the burden of blame with you, my lady. You have to release this or it will torment you for the remainder of your days.”
She looked at him then, at the fae warrior who was always a symbol of strength, and she collapsed. “I don’t know how.”
