He reached down and ran his thumb along the top of her cheekbone. “Why wouldn’t I?”
“Because I’m not…” How could she possibly tell him she still didn’t feel like she was Archfae? That she barely recognized herself anymore.
“Maeve, listen to me.” Tiernan captured her shoulders in his strong hands. She could drown in the deep sapphire and violet of his eyes. “The Spring fae were chased from their homes. They were attacked, assaulted, and oppressed. They renounced their oath to the Spring Court and in doing so, they chose you. They choseyou, Maeve.”
“But I—”
“You will be their queen.” He spoke the words with such ease, such conviction. Like it was so easy to accept. “And you will need somewhere to rule.”
A Court. She would need a Court.
She pressed her lips together, scraped her teeth along the inside seam. She should be happy. Thrilled, even. Despondency gnawed away at her. It wasn’t that she didn’t want a Court, because of course she did. She wanted to protect the Spring fae from any who would cause them harm. But she also wanted Tiernan.
A line formed across his brow. “Something is bothering you.” His gaze dipped to the necklace he’d given her. “What is it?”
“It’s nothing.” She shook off the trepidation growing inside her.
“You’re lying.”
“Yes, but it’s not important,” she countered.
“Anything you have to say is important.”
The air she held pinched inside her lungs left her in a rush. She dropped down onto the grassy bank by the river’s edge, beneath the shade of trees just kissed by Autumn. Absently, she plucked a blade of grass and twisted it between her fingers.
“This is what I always wanted. When I was in Kells, I tried so hard to prove myself worthy of a crown. Of ruling. I just never expected…”
Tiernan continued to stand. Watching. Waiting.
“I never expected to do it alone.” Her voice sounded hollow.
“You’re not alone.” He lowered himself down on the soft grass beside her. Stretching out, he crossed one ankle over the other and propped himself up on both hands. “I’m right here with you.”
“But you have your own Court.”
At that, he remained silent, and she knew he understood what she was so poorly trying to convey. That maybe she didn’t want to be justanyHigh Queen. “I can’t expect you to abandon your own duties and responsibilities to Summer just to help me figure out what the hell I’m doing. I was raised in Veterra, trained and prepared to rule a kingdom of mortals. I’m only twenty-four years old, not…”
She gestured vaguely in his direction, and he chuckled.
“We won’t mention my age again.”
Maeve lay down, letting her head come to rest in his lap. “I had all these plans for Kells. I was going to form a better alliance with Cantata, maybe even expand the city all the way down to the border of the Cascadian Mountains. Protect the Moors, improve the Gaelsong Port, and open trade routes with some of the eastern realms.” Her eyes drifted closed. “I would’ve been tolerant. Merciful. Kind.”
The tips of his fingers skated up and down her arm. “You can still do all those things here.”
She opened her eyes. “What if I’m not any good at it?”
“You’ve already proven your worth to so many, Maeve.” He took her hand into his own and placed a kiss inside her open palm. “You are a High Princess of Autumn. Are you really going to sit here and tell me the idea of becoming a queen has never crossed your mind?”
“Of course it has,” she muttered. “But I have three brothers in line before me.”
“Let me ask you this,” he looked up to the mountains, to the brilliant blue sky where low-lying mist started to take shape, “if you were queen tomorrow, what would you do?”
Maeve tugged up three more pieces of grass and began to plait them together. “I’d work on building the infrastructure of my Court. There would be a central market square with shops where local artisans could showcase their wares. I’d build homes and I would help the faerie who lost his vineyard open a winery, and there would be a library for everyone to access, not just those who live in a palace.” She glanced up at him and smirked.
“Noted, my lady.” He snapped a flower off a nearby rose bush; the petals were the deepest shade of red she’d ever seen. After inspecting it for thorns, he fashioned it into her curls. “And what about you?”
Maeve lifted herself into a sitting position so she faced him, breathing in the sweetened fragrance of the rose. “What about me?”