Page 49 of A Cancer's Embrace
“May I come in?”
I hesitated for a few seconds but stepped to the side, inviting him in. No matter the circumstances, Jabari moved with confidence. His shoulders were straight and his head high. It was the sexiest thing I’d ever witnessed.
He placed the roses on the kitchen counter.
“These are for you,” he stated.
“Thank you, Jabari.”
“Um... I just... I want to apologize for yesterday. I wasn’t ignoring you on purpose. I would never do no shit like that to you, but I got so wrapped up in everything that was happening yesterday. With the opening quickly approaching, I’ve just been so locked in with that.”
I nodded.
“I tried calling and texting you all night, but I didn’t get an answer,” he added.
“I was asleep.”
“Baby, please forgive me for this?—”
“Jabari, how are you going to handle being in a relationship when this restaurant opens? I know we both have dreams and goals, but I never want to add to the stress you already have. I want you to figure out if I’m needed in your life right now with all of this going on.”
“Amina, baby, I can handle both. I swear I can, but shit is just crazy right now. It should soon calm down. Then things will be back to normal.”
“Are you sure?” I asked. “Let’s be realistic. Shit is only going to get crazier. I’ve tried your food, and I can see you opening a new restaurant in the next few years. You’ve got a talent that is about to take off. That talent is going to require a lot of you. We saw that last night.”
“Baby—”
I held my hand up, cutting him off. “I think it’s best, in my opinion, we slow things down and revisit us or this conversation once or if things calm down.”
My fears had resurfaced and had taken over everything. My walls instantly shot back up, and being in a relationship would not be healthy for me. I would cause too much damage to Jabari.
His eyes widened. “If this is all because I didn’t answer your calls and messages, I apologize from the bottom of my heart. That shit was not intentional. I swear it wasn’t.”
I walked toward the door and opened it. I could feel my tears welling up, but I knew my decision was for the best. I no longer needed situations in my life that could cause me to get in my head or feelings. I knew the path of spiraling I would go on, and I no longer wanted that to happen.
“I’m sorry, Jabari.”
“Amina ...”
I could hear the hurt in his voice, but I needed to stand strong. My foot was down, and I wasn’t changing my mind. He took a deep breath and let out a loud sigh, shaking his head as he walked toward the door. He froze in front of me, scanning my eyes. I was certain he saw how much water had built up inside them before he leaned over and kissed my cheek.
“Bye, Amina.”
“Bye, Jabari.”
Jabari walked out the door, and I closed the door behind him. I immediately fell against the door, crying my eyes out until I heard his car pull out of the driveway.
A week had passedsince I ended things with Jabari. It wasn’t the easiest thing ever. I laid in bed the rest of that day and cried my eyes out. Danita called, and she could tell something was wrong, but I didn’t tell her what happened. I didn’t want to hear from her about how my choices were irrational or dumb. I wanted to be comfortable with the choices I made.
I slowly dragged myself into the office two hours before my scheduled shift. Nancy had requested that all staff arrive at 6:00 a.m. for an important team meeting. Nancy had spent a lot of time in the unit, staying longer than expected. She watched and observed everyone as they handled patients, including Patrick. No one was exempt from any type of coaching or praise. Everyone knew that the calling of this meeting was going tobe good or bad. Either way, I knew I had worked my hardest and always put my best foot forward. If Nancy felt as if this was not the department for me, then I would focus on my next opportunity.
By the time I made it to the conference area, everyone had grabbed a seat, and others stood against the wall. A few more people trickled in, and five minutes later, Nancy took her stance at the front of the room.
“Good morning, everyone. Thank you all for showing up this early. I really appreciate it. Before I get started on my observations, Patrick has something he’d like to say to you all.”
Everyone watched as Patrick made his way to stand by Nancy. There was no telling what would come out of his mouth. Patrick cleared his throat and looked out at us.
“I enjoy working with you all and especially in this unit. I know that at times I’ve come across as rude, arrogant, or dumb, but all I wanted to do was be the best nurse possible. By being in this unit, I’ve learned a lot from each one of you. With that being said, I will step out of this unit and head to the med-surg unit to be the charge nurse there.”
