Page 40 of Grind
“Come on,” he says, gesturing with his chin toward the table. “Join us.”
He waits as if for me to lead the way, but I stand there indecisively for a long second and then blurt out what’s I’ve been trying to decide all day.
“How do you do it, Seamus? Balance the law and all this?”
He looks around quickly. Clearly, I didn’t pick the best time or place for this conversation, but I feel the weight of it in my core. It’s now or never. If I walk out that door tonight, I won’t get a chance to walk back in. But if I stay?
There’s no taking that back. My heart just won’t let me.
Seamus tips his head toward a bartop table at the edge of the bar that’s empty and puts down the beers. Several seconds pass while he regards me, like he’s deciding whether to give me a stock answer or the truth.
“Ava, no one can make that decision for you,” he says finally in a quiet, tight voice. “At some point, it comes down to what you want. What you believe in.”
His hand gestures toward the long, dark wood bar. “I had the big name law firm, the high-end office, the world travel, and the prestige. At the end of the day, it was hollow. What I wanted, what I missed, and what I believed in? It was here.”
With a sigh, he leans in and lowers his voice even further.
“Did the Doyles have a big reputation back in the day? Absolutely. Is it strictly true that everything that happens today is above board? I can’t tell you that it is. But are we a dirty crime family you’d be aiding and abetting? Not by a long shot. And frankly, the darkest stuff I see go down here is less criminal than what I’ve had corporate clients ask me without flinching an eye.”
He gives a little shrug. “Can you have a life with a man like Connor and still practice law? Yes. But at the end of the day, is that what you want?”
I think so. It’s been several weeks since that day in the park. Connor and I have been making our way together. He’s opened up to me, let me in, and shared his world. He told me about his deal with the mayor, and I explained how I’d worked with my school to take Brooks’s threats against me seriously. They were explicit that his continued attendance there was dependent on leaving me the hell alone, and he was also disallowed from attending classes I’d be in. It meant he’d be graduating a year after me, since there were requirements he couldn’t meet under those conditions. Such a shame.
Connor and I make a great team.
And I’ve tried to keep an open mind. It’s not always easy, going from one way of believing the world works to a completely different and more open point of view.
But it’s worth it. Connor’s worth it.
Like he feels my stare, he looks up and sees me standing there. Connor is already headed in our direction, and I can’t help but smile at his eagerness to see me. Shouldering his way across the bar, he moves toward me and pulls me in close.
“You came, love.”
I wasn’t sure when he’d invited me. Wasn’t sure I was ready. But if I’m going to love Connor – and I do– then it’s time to really become part of his life. Seamus moves around us with the beer, and Connor leads me to the table.
An older man at the head of the table, big like Connor and with the same piercing blue eyes, watches us with interest. He looks a bit frail, but stands and starts toward us. People greet him as he walks across the bar.
The storied Murphy Doyle. He doesn’t seem like a scary criminal. He seems like a tired older man that’s interested in who his son has brought to this family get-together.
“Connor, who’s your friend?”
“Dad, I’d like to introduce you to Ava. Ava Buchanan, this is my father, Murphy Doyle. Dad, Ava is…”
There’s a pause. We haven’t really talked labels. But that doesn’t stop Connor.
“Ava is the most amazing woman I’ve ever met. And I wanted you to meet her, because she’s going to be around a lot more. All the time. For a long time, in fact, I hope.”
Butterflies in my stomach flutter at those words, while tears threaten to sting my eyes. Quickly, I clear my throat and hold out a hand.
Murphy’s looking from me to Connor with a more intense interest and a raised eyebrow. A familiar gesture, so like his son.
“Mr. Doyle, it’s so nice to meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you,” I say as he clasps my hand in his briefly.
He snorts, and gives me a grin – one that produces a dimple so much like the ones I’ve come to love. There’s a catch in my throat, as I realize that I’ve met this man so late.
Too late. I’ll never really get the chance to know him.
“Seamus tells me you’re going to be a lawyer,” he says sharply. “Most of what you’ve heard probably isn’t too good, aye?”
