Page 31 of Grind
But I just can’t square this man, covered in blood, with the man that gave of himself so selflessly in bed. The man that walks me home. The man that I think I might be falling for.
What he’s saying makes sense, and somehow that’s making everything harder. I need to get out of here. “Connor, please. I need to go home. ”
For long seconds he looks at my face and then he says, “I could drive you.” But when I shake my head, he nods.
“Okay, Ava,” and he puts a hand on the small of my back to guide me toward a bank of waiting town cars. He speaks a few words to one of the drivers, and then I’m ensconced in the back of a car that’s so fancy that under other circumstances I’d be giddy to ride in it.
Tonight, I feel hollow and as it drives away, my eyes stay riveted to Connor. He looks upset, staring after us until I can’t see him anymore.
The desire to get some space wars with an even stronger desire to go back and comfort him. I’m getting a much clearer sense of who Connor is, how those pieces fit together.
I just don’t know if I can accept him as he is.
12
Ava
“Did you have a good time on your date, honey?”
Rhonda’s shit-eating grin is contagious, and I try not to think about the club last night. The date before that, a week ago, had been almost idyllic.
“Yeah,” I say, pushing a lock of hair behind my ear. “I had a good time.”
“Told you that you needed a real good fuck.” She swats me on the butt with a menu. “You’re too young to be celibate.”
Even though I’m not feeling lightness today, it’s good to laugh. I love Rhonda’s sense of humor.
“Happy to see me, princess?”
That voice shoots icy chills straight down my spine, driving out any warmth I felt just a moment before. Brooks drapes himself over the hostess stand. No one can drain the joy from a room like Brooks. Fear claws at my throat, but slowly it’s overtaken by rage. How dare this asshole continue to harass me. To harass Connor. Does he know we’re together? Are we together anymore?
“Brooks, you need to leave.”
“Or what?” he taunts, flicking a pen from the stand onto the floor. “You’ll have your mobster boyfriend beat me up?” He straightens up. “I thought you were going to be an anti-corruption lawyer, princess. Won’t do to be fucking one of Boston’s biggest mob bosses.”
He leers at me.
Of course Brooks would know. And I don’t know what to make of Connor, the man, and Connor Doyle, the son of a family that might be mostly clean – but is still willing to skirt the law.
But having it all thrown in my face like this, when it’s raw, by this piece of shit? I don’t know whether to weep or to launch myself at him to claw his eyes out.
“I said you should leave, Brooks.”
“You don’t seem surprised,” Brooks advances, knocking menus to the dirty linoleum. “What’s the matter, princess? Willing to do anything for money?”
He reaches to touch me, and I knock his hand away.
“Connor Doyle’s up to some seriously bad shit and rumor has it he’ll be indicted before long.”
Just those words make me want to retch. I don’t know if they’re true – what I saw wasn’t good, but it wasn’t exactly systematic organized crime. But having this thrown at me like dirty laundry, contemplating the possibility that it could be true and that my worst fears about Connor, for Connor, might come to fruition causes bile to raise to the back of my throat.
“Don’t,” I hiss, my teeth pressing together. “Get out.”
Rhonda flies into the back to get help. I stare defiantly up at Brooks. I don’t have time process my feelings about Connor. Brooks’s leer turns into a look of pure anger.
“Don’t tell me what to do, you fucking slut,” he rages, grabbing me by the throat. “I’m going to kill you. You seem to have forgotten you’re mine until I’m done with you.”
His grip is too goddamn strong. Wrapping my hands around his wrist, I dig my nails in, trying to get him to let go. “You think you can just dump me? You’re nothing, Ava. You have no family, no money, and no fucking sense.”
