Page 194 of To Ashes and Dust
Damien’s eyes fell to my unmarred skin, and I wasn’t sure if I felt happiness or sadness that every mark, every reminder, had vanished—as if it had never happened. I was new, remade. It was as if I had a chance at a fresh start, unburdened by what had been done to me. I wasn’t sure how to feel about it. I should be happy, but...
“Are you okay,mea luna?” Damien asked, his hand reaching for my elbow.
“I will be. It’s just... a lot to process,” I admitted. I wouldn’t hide anything from him, no more secrets. He was here at my side, and I his, and we would no longer face the darkness alone.
I drew a deep breath and lifted my eyes to him, a smile tugging at my lips. “About that shower.”
He met my smile with his own. “I’ll follow your lead. Take your time.”
My chest swelled, and my eyes fell to the icy wood floors beneath my feet, every bit of wood grain crystal clear. Damien offered his hand once more, and I took it, leaning into him as I took each step. It wasn’t that I felt weak, but more like if I took too big a step, I might lurch forward, or if my steps were too heavy, I might crash through the floor.
“You mentioned before that immortals go through a settling when they come of age.” I tried to remember, but the memory was hazy, as if too much time had passed, or it was still settling into place among the countless memories of two lives.
Damien nodded. “They do.”
“Is it like this for them?” I asked, lifting my gaze to him then quickly dropping it back to the floor, as I had lost track of where my feet were meant to go.
“Almost. It’s very similar. It can be painful for some, and it takes them a while afterward to recover and feel normal in their own skin again,” he explained.
We gradually made it to the bathroom, steam licking my skin in heated waves, and I shivered at the all too sensitive feel of it. I halted as we passed the vanity, at the sight of silver eyes staring back at me. My breath caught in my throat, and I pulled from Damien’s hold. I braced myself against the vanity as I stared at my reflection. My mother’s eyes... one of the few pieces of her I had left—
I leaned forward, my gaze latching onto my right eye, to the small sliver of hazel that still remained, blending into the silver like a brushstroke of paint.
“She’s still here,” I muttered without meaning to as my hand lifted to my face, my finger brushing my cheek just beneath the silver and hazel. Everything else looked almost the same; my body hadn’t seemed to change much, just... healed. New. Damien’s arms came around me, and his lips brushed my temple as I relaxed into him.
“Am I still... me, Damien?” I asked, my gaze faltering from my face, from the stranger’s eyes staring back at me.
“It’s a lot to take in, I know, but you’re still you. You’re still Cassie, regardless of what form you take,” he said against my cheek, his head leaning forward to settle against my own. “You are you, and no one else.”
72
CASSIE
“Easy, now, one step at a time,” Damien said as he stood on the stair below me, his hand bracing mine as I took the next step down. His eyes flitted between my face and my feet with each step, ready to catch me if I fell. “Don’t rush.”
I started to grumble, but my center of gravity shifted the slightest bit, threatening to send me tumbling down the stairs, and I grabbed onto Damien’s hand tighter. “Gods, I hope this doesn’t last long.”
Damien’s eyes flickered to me a moment before he chuckled. “You’ll get used to it soon enough. Parts of you are likely still settling. Give it time. You should be back to normal in a few days. You’ll probably be able to walk on your own in a few hours. It’ll come. Just be patient,mea luna.”
I sighed. I didn’t want to be patient. I wanted to get out of this house, wanted to go see everything, hear everything. I wanted to try using my powers again. With the memories came a sense of how to use them, albeit a little hazy. I was excited to try them out, to train again.
A number of scents and smells flooded my senses as we neared the bottom of the steps, and quiet mutterings reached my ears. Damien had notified everyone to come over in the later afternoon, allowing me enough time to shower and dress. The showering part had taken a while, the water like needles on my skin at first.
Zephyr and the others were already downstairs. I could only imagine what the last twenty-four hours had been like for them. I’d died, or I thought I had, it was all a blur.
The thunder of paws echoed down the hall, and Thalia appeared at the foot of the stairs. Her tired, pale eyes found mine, the sliver of her scar pronounced against her dappled gray fur. She whined and yipped as she hovered at the base of the steps, watching us descend. Her scent filled my lungs, woodsy and fresh like black spruce and wintergreen.
“She’s unsteady but she’s okay, Thalia; just getting used to her new legs,” Damien assured her. She stepped back as I lowered myself from the final step onto flat ground. I’d never been happier to be at the base of the stairs, and I didn’t know if I’d be able to make it back up them.
Thalia’s head slid under my free hand as she pressed into me, her fur soft enough that I wanted to bury myself in it. I smiled, running my fingers over her head. I wondered when she might shift back, when I’d get to see her face again, hear her voice.
“The moment she heard you were here, she was on the front porch with Vincent, standing guard,” Damien said.
I wondered what she might be thinking, whether she thought at all or had fled into the bare instincts guiding her to escape the feelings that had plagued her. I lowered to my knees and wrapped my arms around her. She was so warm, and her scent was so calming.
“I won’t invade your thoughts, but I’m here if you want to talk,” I whispered into her ear. Her ears twitched and perked, and she leaned her head into me, whining softly.
“Cas?” a hesitant voice reached my ears from down the hall—a voice wrapped in a warm summer breeze, one I’d known for centuries.
