Page 181 of To Ashes and Dust
“I hate these monitors,” she admitted, eyes shifting to the ones sitting on the other side of her bed. How many times had she been hooked up to them in her life?
“How’re you feeling? Are you in pain?” I asked, checking that the blankets were covering her.
She shook her head, and a reassuring smile tugged at the corners of her lips. “I’m okay,mea sol.”
I settled back into the chair, taking her hand in mine. A slight tremor rattled her fingers, and my mind raced through the possible causes. She hadn’t eaten anything since we’d brought her in the day before. Could her blood sugar be low? Was it anxiety? Was she lying about the pain?
“Do you think you can stomach some food?” I asked.
Her brows scrunched together, her face souring as if the thought of food was foul. Gods, it had been nearly twenty-four hours since I’d seen her eat anything. Did remnants of Melantha’s blood remain in her stomach? Had she not gotten it all out?
“You need to try to get something down soon,mea luna.”
She didn’t respond and her eyes drifted, as if she were slipping back into that abyss that had claimed her the last several hours. I ran my thumb along her hand, if only to pull her back to me, to offer her some reassurance, some comfort. She smiled, and it was like warm rays of summer against my skin.
“Where’s everyone?” she asked, looking to the open door, the hallway quiet in the evening hours.
“Zephyr went home to check on Calista and update her, and Vincent…” She didn’t know about Cole and about the Council. Her hazel eyes lifted to me, flickering with exhaustion. “Vincent took Cole. The Council called for him to be brought in.”
Her eyes widened slightly, and her head lifted. “What are they going to do to him?”
“They’re going to try him for the crimes he committed.”
“But he didn’t—” She winced as her voice heightened, her body tensing, and I jumped to my feet.
“Easy.” Gods, even a little too much excitement was too much.
“He didn’t do those things!” she said, the panic creeping into her weak voice.
“I know,mea luna. I believe you.” I let out a heavy sigh. “But there is no way to prove it. You’re the only one who can bear witness to what was done to him.”
“Then take me to them.” She grimaced, pushing herself up, but I urged her back down.
“You can’t leave this bed. I love Cole, and what happened to him is shit, but I won’t risk losing you.” I swallowed, wishing I could give her some hope. “It will be some time before the trial. We have time. You focus on recovering.”
Her eyes met mine but then fell, the weight of something troubling that beautiful mind. I lifted my hand to cup her cheek, guiding her gaze back to me. I needed to see those sweet hazel eyes, take in every fleck of green and brown decorating her irises.
“I’ll do everything I can for him. I promise.”
She forced a smile that didn’t reach her eyes, and it twisted something in my chest. We lingered in silence for a while, and I soaked up her presence, content to simply sit at her side.
She drew an uneven breath, and her lips parted. “There’s…”
My brows rose, and I tilted my head, resting it on my fist as my gaze drifted across her face.
“There’s a bank account I haven’t touched... There’s a paper with all the information in the drawer of my nightstand for you to access it. I’ve already added you as an authorized user. There’s also a list of things…”
My blood turned icy.
“I don’t have many things, but…” She’d made a will. There was a will in her nightstand drawer at home. I couldn’t bear the thought, couldn’t bear to think of another life after her.
“I haven’t touched the account since I moved in with you, but I was on disability, and the money has been collecting in the account over the last six months. I want it to go to Aurelia.”
I couldn’t find words to say. How long had she been working on a will? Was this something she’d started recently? Had she started it before we’d even met?
“I hate to ask,” she said. “But, if possible, could you find someone to help set it up so it can be managed for her until she’s old enough? Maybe for college, or a house, anything. And my art supplies… I don’t know if she likes to draw, but if she’s interested, I’d like her to have it all.”
I should say something, but I just sat there, lips parted, words lingering on my tongue but refusing to form. Her eyes warmed as she smiled at me despite the sadness lingering there. I couldn’t stand the sight of it, my chest threatening to cave in as I tried to hold her warm gaze. How could she be so strong? How could she sit here before me and talk about these things, ready to face death?
