Page 161 of To Ashes and Dust
I could use it like Barrett did, concentrate the destructive power of the flame Stoicheion, use it to wipe Melantha from existence. Surely, it would work. He’d destroyed countless darklings in a matter of minutes.
Looking up at Damien my heart twisted at the I thought of leaving him, of choosing to destroy Melantha instead of being at his side.
We’ll get that time, in the next life.
My eyes burned.
I didn’t want to wait. I wanted that time now.
Something built in the back of my throat, and I swallowed at the thought of him waking to find me gone. I wouldn’t leave him to suffer the memory of it. I could make this easier for him, erase everything, as if none of this had ever happened.
It hurt to think about, hurt to imagine him not knowing me, but it would be worth it, if only to know he wouldn’t suffer my loss again.
When I returned, Melantha would be gone—we could just be together. We could live the life we should’ve gotten to experience. No darklings, no war.
Just... us.
We could start a family, live a simple life.
My body fought against me as I pushed myself up, taking in the details of his face, the thick dark brows, the stubble growing in along his jaw from when he’d shaved just a few days prior, the shadows of his tattoo winding and twisting down his arm.
I could erase every trace of myself from him. Selene could take care of the others. I wondered if she would if I asked it of her. She couldn’t do anything to me as a mortal, but surely she could remove any memories of me from everyone else’s minds. That left Kat, Cody, and Ethel.
It would seem as if I’d never existed.
Tears dotted my eyes as I continued to watch him sleep. My mind wandered, imagining him waking without me, not thinking anything of it, not knowing that I’d been there when he’d fallen asleep.
More time. If only we had more time. I swallowed, lifting my hand. This was for the best; he wouldn’t suffer this way. Melantha would be destroyed, and I’d return to him again.
I prayed I could do it.
My hand halted before I could touch his skin, my body, my soul, protesting with every fiber. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I struggled to breathe, droplets falling onto the bed.
Just do it. It’s for the best…
I inhaled a shaky breath, my hands trembling as they hovered near his temples.
I couldn’t do it. God, I couldn’t go through with it. I’d lost my parents—I might still lose Kat. I needed him at my side.
He groaned softly, and I stiffened.
His lashes lifted, revealing those stunning amber and ashen eyes I loved so much, and the sight of them broke me as I imagined those eyes looking at me, not knowing who I was—the way my mother had looked at me. He blinked, dark brows scrunching as he realized I was awake. “Mea luna? Is everything okay?”
I rubbed my eyes and tried to compose myself, and his eyes flashed. “What’s wrong? Did something happen? Was it another dream?”
“No, I just—” His question broke what little control I had, and the tears continued. I couldn’t stop them, and the frustration only made the tears come harder, my breath catching in my throat as I sobbed. “I’m scared.”
He pushed himself up and wrapped his strong arms around me as he pulled me into a tight embrace. I couldn’t hold it back any longer—I broke down.
“I’m stepping away from work in a week.”
My breath sucked in through my teeth, and my gaze snapped to him.
“I… I want to be at your side every moment I can. I just have to finish some things that can’t be done without me, and then I’m coming home to stay.”
He would be here, at my side. We would be together until my final moments, to make every second count.
His hand lifted to my face, and his thumb brushed along my jaw. It reminded me of our first kiss—the night he’d come to my house, when I’d been covered in charcoal. My heart swelled as I gazed into those beautiful eyes. There was no way I could’ve ever gone through with erasing myself from his memories. I hated myself for it, but I’d sacrificed so much, had bowed to everyone else’s wishes, wants, and needs.
