Page 144 of To Ashes and Dust
I drew a deep breath, building up the courage to leave the house. I looked out the window, the bare maple branches framing my view of the forest behind our house. It was warmer today, clear of snow for the first time in weeks, so it was a perfect day for a walk. I rose from the bed and headed for the door.
The kitchen was empty as I peered inside, so Ethel was gone for the day. How was she holding up? The house felt so empty, too quiet. This kitchen was always filled with life most mornings when the brothers would barge in and drive us nuts. Would we ever have breakfasts like that again? Would we still have shitty movie Sundays if Barrett wasn’t there to choose the absolute worst movie he could find? Would it even be the same without him? I lingered in the doorway of the kitchen for a moment, sadness creeping back in, tears blurring my vision. My stomach growled, and I rubbed my eyes, drawing a deep breath. I needed to eat something.
I ruffled through the pantry, made some peanut butter toast, and headed for the door. A walk would be good for me. I needed a change in scenery. I stepped into my boots, tugging them on when they resisted. Thankfully, they still fit my swollen feet. I glanced down the empty hall, feeling unsettled at how lonely it felt to not have anyone to say goodbye to, then grabbed my keys before heading out the door.
Winter air kissed my cheeks as I pulled my coat on, starting with my weak left arm. I shoved my hands into my pockets, drawing a deep breath before heading down the steps of the front porch. The distant sounds of the city reached my ears as I made my way down the sidewalk, mortals going about their lives, unaware of everything happening in the darkness of night, unaware of what lurked in the not-so-distant future. Would this neighborhood be the same after the darklings attacked? My chest tightened as I thought of just how many people would get caught in the crossfire—how many would die? If only I’d been reborn as an immortal; I could’ve done more, could’ve made a difference.
I’d barely made it a few blocks when I had to stop and sit to catch my breath. I still had a couple blocks to the incline plane, and a couple miles beyond that before I made it to Kat’s. Maybe this was a bad idea. I lifted my head, looking down the road to the incline plane, which would take me down the mountainside into the valley of the city.
“We can do this,” I breathed as I hoisted myself up and started toward the overlook at the incline plane.
I realized I hadn’t called Damien and pulled my phone from my pocket. It rang once before he answered.
“Hey, sleepyhead,” he said, warm and sweet, and I smiled.
“Hey,mea sol. Sorry I didn’t get to say goodbye when you left.”
“You didn’t wake when I kissed you goodbye, so I figured you were tired. I know the last week took a toll on you, so don’t apologize. You needed the rest.” He paused a moment. “Are you okay? You sound out of breath.”
God, did I really sound that terrible?
“I went for a walk to get out of the house. I’m walking to Kat’s,” I said, coming to a stop at the incline plane’s ticket window. The attendant greeted me with a warm smile, despite the cold.
“Shit, if I’d have known, I would’ve left the car for you to take. I can see if I can step away to come get you and take you there,” he offered, concern in his voice.
“No,mea sol. Don’t do that. Your work is too important.” I paid the attendant, thanking her before heading onto the platform where the incline plane was already stationed. “Johnson told me to keep moving; it’ll be good for me.”
“If it gets to be too much and you need a lift, just call. I can send someone.”
I smiled, coming to a stop at the railing of the lift as the attendant announced the gates were closing. My eyes drifted over the vast valley before me. “I’ll be okay but thank you.”
The wind snaked through my hair, and I shrugged my shoulders up to shield my neck from the icy claws raking along my skin. “How are things going at The Outpost?”
He cleared his throat on the other end. “It’s going to be a rough transition. We’re currently looking for a building to act as the new hub. The Outpost is too far out of town, and patrols have been a mess without The Complex.” I could hear the stress in his voice. “Displaced immortals need a safe place to stay as well, but... they’re afraid.”
I didn’t blame them for being afraid. The Complex was viewed as one of the safest places to stay—under the protection of The Order. We’d never expected the darklings to attack the building, and certainly not in such large numbers. A few darklings wouldn’t have been an issue: the resident warriors would have made quick work of them. It had been a bold move for Melantha to make, but it had the effect she likely wanted.
The attack left The Order scattered, the immortals shaken.
“Have you had any luck?” I asked as the lift made its slow descent down the mountainside.
“We’ve found a few old apartment complexes, but they’re going to need heavy renovations before we can put one to use.” He sighed, and I wished I could be there with him, help him in some way. “I’m sorry I can’t be with you today.”
The incline plane came to a stop at the base of the mountainside, and I stepped off the lift as the gates opened. “It’s okay. I can only imagine how much you have on your plate right now.”
The muffled sound of someone talking came through on his end, and he acknowledged them briefly. “I have to go. James has something he needs to show me. I’ll see you this evening.”
“I can’t wait,” I said, a smile tugging at my lips.
“I love you,mea luna.” The way he said it, his voice dripping with adoration and... something else, made my heart squeeze.
“I love you too,mea sol.”
I slid the phone back into my pocket as I turned down the sidewalk, the sounds of the city filling my ears as I looked to the sky. It was nice today, the clearest it had been in weeks. A lone bird drifted high above, and the sight of it caused worry to resurface.
I prayed Thalia was okay, wherever she was.
The chilled air had permeated my coat and pants by the time I neared my old neighborhood, the cold seeping into my bones. My eyes drifted over the familiar sights: the sidewalks and back streets I’d walked my entire life, the old buildings me and the neighborhood kids got caught breaking in to play hide and seek. Dread crawled across my skin as I neared Matthew Street. The buildings next to The Complex were still standing, the church clock tower still there, visible high above the building blocking my view.
