Page 87 of To Ashes and Dust
I sighed, head falling forward as I held Kat’s limp hand. This wasn’t where she belonged. She deserved better than this. She deserved it all—a life, happiness, safety, everything. It wasn’t just sadness that filled me, but anger. Anger at Matthias for starting all this. Anger at Melantha for creating more misery. If it wasn’t for her, none of this would be happening.
“She’s going to be ok,” Damien said softly.
“I almost lost her,” I said, barely loud enough to hear.
“I know. I’m so sorry she got caught up in this.”
“I want you to see what you can do to get something set up for Kat and my parents away from here,” I said, unable to look at him.
Damien went rigid at my side. “I thought you said you wouldn’t be able to convince them to leave.”
“I’ll make them.”
His warm eyes flitted over my face, dark brows narrowing.
My eyes drifted to Kat. “If they don’t know I exist, there’ll be nothing to keep them here.”
“You can’t do that. You’ll—”
“Salwa explained how to do it,” I said, my voice flat, a hollow numbness filling my chest.
He hesitated, but I couldn’t pull myself away from Kat to try to figure out what he was thinking. “Are you sure about this, Cas? You can’t reverse something like that...”
“I know. I know that once it’s done, it’s... done.” I swallowed, feeling the warmth of Kat’s hand against my skin, proof that she was truly alive. “But I’d rather them be safe and happy than know who I am.”
“Sometimes...” He took my hand as he lowered himself to my level and cupped my cheek with his other hand as he forced my gaze to him. “Sometimes, I fear you’re too strong,mea luna, that you’re willing to sacrifice too much for others. I don’t want you to suffer any more than you already have, and to see someone you love and them not see you, not know you... It’s more painful than words can describe.”
His words stung, and I knew he knew the truth better than I could. He knew from experience when I hadn’t known who he was, when I’d had no memory of him. I could only imagine how deeply it must have hurt.
I met his gaze, steeling my nerves. “I’ll suffer more if I lose them to this.”
His eyes wavered, and he squeezed my hand gently before lifting it to press a kiss to my knuckles. “If this is what you think is best, I’ll be there for you every step of the way. I’ll make arrangements for them elsewhere. You can plant false memories to help them transition better once we get them out of the city. Just don’t do anything until I have plans in order.”
I nodded. “Please do it as soon as possible. I’m sorry to ask this of you. I know it’s a lot.”
He didn’t respond, and the sorrow that seeped into my skin through his touch was enough to make my eyes burn, tears threatening to fall again. “You could never ask too much of me,mea luna.”
“I’m going to stay with her until she wakes up,” I muttered as I looked back to Kat, to the bruise marring her jaw, the scrape on her brow.
“I’ll give you some time alone. Call me when you’re ready.” He pressed a kiss to my forehead.
He hesitated, then pulled himself away, the metal door clicking shut as he left, and I sat there in silence. The lights in the room were off, the orange glow of the streetlights leaking through the closed blinds, the light in the hall creeping in from beneath the closed door. I didn’t know how late it was, but I could hear the doctors and nurses going about their nightly routine in the hallway. It was all too familiar...
I hated it.
It should have been me there, laying in that bed, not her. She didn’t deserve this.
It was a relief she hadn’t suffered any serious injuries. The doctors had assured me there was no sign of brain damage. She’d suffered a concussion, though, and she’d been unresponsive since we brought her here. My eyes roamed over her again, noting the subtle rise and fall of her chest beneath the blankets.
I needed to let Cody know she was here, that she was ok, but I didn’t know how long it would be before she woke up. As I reached for my phone, I realized I didn’t have his number, and Kat’s phone hadn’t been on her. It was probably lost in the alley; I hadn’t even taken the time to try to look for any of her belongings. I’d been so panicked.
Thankfully, it was easy to convince the doctors she’d been mugged. The police were called, a false report given. It was strange, but I didn’t feel guilty lying to the officers. I felt plenty of guilt, but not because I’d fabricated this false story. No, the guilt was because Kat had been caught in the middle of this war, because I hadn’t been able to protect her.
I wondered what she would remember when she woke up, what exactly she’d seen. Would I have to erase parts of her memory? I hated the thought of invading her mind, hated the thought of doing it again when I erased myself from her memories, but she couldn’t know, and I wouldn’t let anyone else touch her.
It was a relief that Damien had connections to get Kat and my parents safe and as far away as possible. I began to wonder just how much influence their kind had in our city, in our world. They’d been around since before the founding of our country; I could only imagine just how much sway they might hold.
Kat’s faint groan pulled me from my thoughts, and I jumped to my feet.
