Page 1 of The Second Kiss
one
The First Kiss
August 1998
Ishift my weight, but the cracks in the floorboards still dig into my bare knees. A trickle of sweat slides down my back. I scratch my nose under my glasses and brush damp, straggly bangs out of my face. The barn must be a hundred degrees and I’ve been hiding here forever.
Dinner is over. They ate without me. The moving truck is packed. They're getting ready to say goodbye. No one even cares that I’m gone.
Not even Jacob.
Pins and needles in my feet. I grit my teeth, slide my legs out from under me, and think about how stupid I’m being. I should be outside, spending whatever time I have left with him, but I’m too miserable to pretend I’m having fun and too heartbroken to pretend everything is fine.
“Jessica, are you up here?”
My heart pounds at the sound of his voice. I hold my breath.
“Jess?”
Particles of dust and old hay tickle my nose. I try to hold it in, but I can't. I cover my mouth with my hand. A minute passes, and then two. I sit up on my knees for a quick peek.
Jacob's triumphant face at the opening to the grain chute makes me fall backward. “I knew you’d be here. I showed you this hiding place, remember?” He slips through the little door, ducks down, and slides in next to me. “You weren’t even going to say goodbye?”
I shake my head and bite my lip to keep the tears from sliding out. They come anyway.
He puts his arm around me. “Hey, don’t cry.”
Him saying it makes it worse. I stare at the wall so he doesn’t have to see the tears that slide down my cheeks. I scrub my eyes under my glasses.
“I’m going to miss you.” His usual teasing transforms into something more tender. “You won’t forget me, will you?”
I shake my head again.
“Promise?”
I’m shaking my head “yes” like crazy, my glasses sliding down my nose, frizzy curls falling in my face.
He smiles. “I have to be sure. Come with me.” He crawls through the door and grabs my hand to help me up. I follow him to the corner of the loft. He reaches between two beams, fishes around for a minute and pulls out a little silver locket. “This is for you—to remember me by.”
I can’t say anything. I can't even move. I’ve never gotten a present from a boy before. Other girls my age are on their fifth or sixth boyfriend—talking about them on the bus or in the girls's restroom between classes, but no guy is interested in a fat, shy, crazy-haired girl like me. Especially not a boy like Jacob.
“I’ll help you put it on.” Jacob says, and I realize I’ve been staring at the locket without moving.
“Yeah. Okay.” I pull my hair up out of the way and turn around while he fastens the chain. Once it's secure, I rub the little heart between my fingers, still not convinced that it’s real.
He puts his hands on my shoulders, turning me around to face him. “Promise you’ll never take it off.”
I finally meet his eyes. “I promise.”
“Just to be sure, I’d better give you something else.” He has a look on his face, unsure, like he’s trying to decide something. My heart beats so loud I’m sure he can hear it. He leans close to my face.
And kisses me.
On the lips.
Softly and so quick that after he's done I can't be sure he really did it.
He pulls away. I can barely breathe.
