Page 86 of The Second Kiss
He sits beside me on the muddy trail. A fat drop of blood slides down the side of my leg. Brad reaches into his pocket and pulls out a wet and crumpled tissue. He dabs at the worst of the scrapes. “I don’t know why I can’t leave you alone, Jess. You’realways there–at school, at the gym, in my head. If I was smart I’d just stay away from you, but I can’t.”
The only sound between us is our still-heavy breathing and the rain falling on the trees around us. After a few minutes he looks up at me. “I have a confession to make. I didn’t just come for a run. I followed you here, because I was worried about you.”
I look at him, incredulous. “You followed me, because you were worried?”
“Yeah. You’ve seemed so tired and stressed and hurt this whole week–longer than that actually. It kills me to see you like that. I thought about trying to talk to you at school, but...” he shakes his head, “I knew you wouldn’t want to talk to me.”
“We’re talking now,” I point out.
“I know. Feels good, doesn’t it?” He leans closer. “I’ve missed talking like this, and running with you, and holding your hand in the halls. I've really missed you.” The look of tenderness in his eyes brings up a slew of forgotten emotions, not all of them bad. When he pushes a piece of wet hair off my forehead I don’t move away. “Sometimes I watch you at school and think about how things might be different now if Lexie hadn’t screwed things up between us.”
“It wasn’t just Lexie,” I point out.
“I know.” He looks down at the wet tissue, soaked with rain and my blood. “I did my share of screwing things up too. If I knew how to fix it...” He shifts his weight so his face is inches from mine. His hand covers mine. I don’t know what I feel. My heart is broken and tired and pounding in my ears, my hands and knees are torn and bleeding, All I can think of is how good it is to feel wanted.
When his lips touch mine I lean in and kiss him back.
forty-two
Stranger
“You’re back with Brad now?” Jasmine is waiting for me at my locker after school.
“Yeah,” I can't quite meet her eyes. Brad announced the change in our relationship status the same way he did the first time, by meeting me in the parking lot, holding my hand all the way to first period, and then kissing me at the door.
“When did all of this happen, and honestly, what the hell?” Jasmine looks like I’ve lost my mind. “I don’t trust him and you shouldn’t either. Do you know what rumors are flying around school about him?”
“No,” I slam my locker door shut. “Because I don’t live and die on high school gossip like you do.”
A hurt look crosses her face, but she keeps going. “The whole thing with Lexie leaving school is coming up again. The rumor is that he put something in her drink and that she’s going to press charges and then he’ll lose his football scholarship. My guess is he's trying to get back together with you because he doesn't want you to say anything about what happened at the party at the begining of the year. If you're on his side then who's going to believe Lexie?"
I turn to face her. A knot of shame and horror presses into my throat. I didn’t tell Jasmine anything about that night. She’s never asked me about it, but obviously she’s heard something. I didn’t realize that rumor still existed. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I say it coldly, hoping she’ll get the hint and drop it. "Why can't you just believe Brad likes me for me? Are you jealous."
"Jealous of you and Brad?" Jasmine puts her hands on her hips and turns to face me.
"Jealous because your long line of Jasmine worshippers have disappeared and you're all alone. When was the last time you even hung out with a guy?"
She opens her mouth and then closes it again without replying.
"You can't remember, can you?" I can see the hurt and anger boiling inside of her. I wait for the onslaught of venom I know she's capable of, but she just stands there. I turn to walk away, because I know the kind of venom I'm capable of, and I don't want to say something worse.
She grabs my arm. “I’m worried about you, Jess. You’re on this weird self-destructive kick and I don’t like it. Going back to Brad isn’t going to get Jacob’s attention and it’s not going to make anything better.”
I jerk away from her. “I’ve had all the advice from you I can stand." An avalanche of anger cascades over me. I think of all the times Jasmine told me what to do when it came to Jacob, how she told me to play hard to get, just when things were getting good between us. I’ve taken her advice time after time, and time after time it’s backfired. "I’m done with Jacob and I’m done with you.”
She looks like I slapped her, “Jess, don’t–”
“Sorry I’m late,” Brad puts a possessive hand on my back. “Hey Jaz.”
She doesn't answer him. She gives me a look, something like sympathy and anger and pain all mixed together.
"I have a surprise for you," Brad says, "Some of my soon-to-be teammates are taking me to a club tonight, and you're coming with me."
Jasmine's interest is piqued. "What club? Where?"
I'm not sure what she's getting at. Brad hesitates, but after a couple of long seconds he says. "It’s a new one, in downtown Tacoma, the Gator or something like that. Why? Do you want to come?"
"No," she slams her locker door. She turns to me. "And you shouldn't go either, Jess. I have a bad feeling about this." She nods toward Brad. "All of this."
