Page 60 of The Second Kiss
He laughs. “Definitely the best word to describe him.”
“What about all of this?” I spread my arms to indicate the whole beach.
“Well, there’s a bit of both here—order and chaos. The moon orbits the earth. The tides change. The world spins around the sun, the seasons change. That’s order.”
“And the chaos part is what? What people introduce into it?”
“Maybe. But even nature makes mistakes.”
“No mistakes,” I counter him. “Everything happens for a reason. Everyone exists for a reason. Sometimes we just don’t see it.”
“You mean like when there are three boys in a family and two are athletic and good-looking and outgoing, and one is shy and awkward and funny looking.”
A pit forms in my stomach. I think about how we’ve been doing things without Nathan this whole time. He never seemed to want to join us, but I never asked. “I don’t know any families like that.”
He meets my eye. “Are you sure?”
I look at him, really look at him, maybe for the first time. “Positive. I know a family that has three good-looking guys in it. One is obnoxious, one thinks he has to protect the world, and one is way too serious. None of them are funny looking.”
“And you would go out with one of them because you wanted to, not just to piss off his brothers?”
I duck my head and study the water.
“I’m not stupid, Jess. And I’m used to Gage and Jake getting all the attention, especially from girls.”
I take a few steps closer to him. “I didn’t mean to...” But I don’t know what to say. I did mean to. This is unfamiliar territory for me. It feels weird to be on the other side, to feel like I could hurt somebody. I walk over, stand in front of him, and touch his arm. “I’m glad I asked you out, Nate.”
He looks up at me. Long eyelashes rim his blue eyes. “I am too. I was thinking you were still holding a grudge for all the terrible things I did to you when we were kids.”
I take a step back, smiling mischievously. “Who says I’m not? Maybe I lured you here with bad intentions.” I dig into the water and pick up a handful of wet sand. I let it slide through my fingers.
He watches it plop into the water. “Maybe. You’re a hard one to read, Jess.”
“Oh?” I say innocently.
“You were such a tough kid. You never cried, even when we were really mean. And you kept coming back for more.” He picks up another rock. “And now you’re all grown up and pretty and...” He rubs the rock in his fingers, his face flaming in the moonlight. “I don’t know. The more I get to know you, the more of a mystery you become.”
I laugh. “Good, no one wants to be too easy to figure out.”
“So, Jess, what doyoulove?”
His question catches me off guard. The most honest response would probably be, “Your brother,” but know that would break some serious first-date etiquette.
“I dunno.” I’m trying to think. “Maybe just life, being young, having so much to look forward to.”
Something shimmers under the water. I reach down and pick up almost a whole moon snail shell. I study it. Run my finger along the smooth surface. “I figure we‘ll have enough bad days to make it worth it to enjoy the good ones, or even just the normal ones.” I look at Nathan embarrassed, “Does that sound stupid?”
“Not at all. Seize the day, huh? Sounds like a typical response from someone in high school who hasn’t had to deal with real life yet.”
I get offended, but I realize he’s teasing me. “Maybe you need to learn how to seize the day and not take life so seriously.” I drop the shell and pick up another lump of wet sand. “Or maybe you need a little chaos.” I fling the sand at him. It lands in the middle of his clean white sweatshirt.
He watches the lump slide down his chest, leaving a streak of gray-green muck. “I can’t believe you just did that.”
“It’s called being spontaneous, Nate. Live a little.”
“Oh, yeah?” He plunges into the water and comes after me. I scream and run. His shoes are getting soaked, but he doesn’t stop. His long legs are a serious advantage as the water gets deeper. My foot strikes something sharp. I stumble forward, just catching myself before I end up face first in the water. “Ow.”
“I’m not falling for that trick.” Nathan reaches out and grabs me.
