Page 73 of Liar & Champion
I scooted back a little on the couch. “It’s not too late for you to find another woman that suits your purposes better. Why try to change and fit yourself into my ideal when there are so many women dying to have you exactly as you are?”
“Maybe I like the challenge. Maybe I don’t want to go through the ordeal of finding another woman, or maybe, just maybe, I like you, Kitten. Maybe I want to spend the next six months with you no matter how troublesome it is. It’s only six months. It’s not a big deal for me to turn over management to Jezebel, Trixie, or Dirk while I fill out our terms. We had a deal. I’m not going to back out of it, and I’m not going to expect you to live my life with no regards to yours. I should have been upfront about my life and lifestyle, I just liked not having the baggage that comes with this job. Can you forgive me?”
I blinked at him and swallowed awkwardly. He was apologizing for lying? That was ironic considering the blatant untruths I lived every day. “There’s nothing to forgive, I just think that it would make more sense if you got a nice girl who wasn’t against violence, and then there wouldn’t be a conflict.”
“But there would be a conflict, because I’m not interested in other women. That’s a huge conflict for me. Tell me what you want, and I’ll give it to you. No matter how big or little. What you want is the most important thing here. Don’t worry about my business. Don’t worry about me. What do you want?”
I stared at him while my heart pounded. Because I could just ignore what he needed? I looked down at my empty plate. “I want more spaghetti.”
Trixie snorted and stood up. “A woman with her priorities in order. Come on, you two. If I’m feeding Nix, he’s going to be inthe kitchen, because I don’t trust him not to spill. He is not the tidiest eater.”
“Did I ever say I was perfect?” Nix asked, standing up and smiling at me. It was the sweetest smile, made me all warm inside.
I couldn’t help smiling back, and then I looked down while I walked into the kitchen so I didn’t get distracted by his sweetness. No, he wasn’t sweet. I’d seen him pounding the blood out of the other guy. Not sweet. And also, what the crap about everything with Horse? Was he also completely insane or was there something to the guy Flowers who looked familiar, the thing in my blood they called the sweet side of the serum? I wasn’t thinking about that right now. Now, I was trying to figure out what to do today, tomorrow, and for the rest of my short life.
We sat down in the kitchen and Trixie fixed all of us plates, like we couldn’t possibly be competent enough to serve ourselves.
“So,” Trixie said, sitting down in the chair on the end and leaning her elbow on the table before she took a big bite. “What do you want?” she asked, pointing her fork at me. She pointed at Nix. “He’s made his position clear. His schedule is waiting on you.”
“But that makes no logical sense. We’re only together out of convenience, and it’s already not at all convenient for him, first because he’s married, and he hates marriage, second he won’t be with a virgin, so he’d be stuck without any sex for six months… Even if I was delighted with his choice of career, how does that make sense not to start from scratch with someone else?”
Nix didn’t look at me, just stirred his sauce into his noodles like it was brain surgery. Kind of looked like brain surgery, now that I thought about it. It still made my mouth water, though, or maybe that was him. “Okay. If you want to leave, you can. I’ll set you up somewhere safe. No problem.”
I frowned at him at his easy willingness to let me walk away when he was so stubborn about bending over backwards for me. “All the disadvantages are on your side, not mine.”
He smiled at me. “You seem to think you know what I want better than I do. I’m nervous about any long term relationship with any woman. I’ve already married you, so the hardest part is over and done with. The idea of starting from scratch is a nightmare. I’d rather fold up the games and do something else with my life than try and find someone else. I’m done with that. It’s you or nobody.”
I stared at him while he stared back, an edge to his eyes that I’d never seen before. No, I’d seen it during a close-up right before he punched out the other guy. I’d turned this into a fight, and he didn’t lose fights. “Nix, you aren’t being logical.”
“Sunshine, you aren’t telling me what you want. Tell me. Let me be what you want and need,” he said, all cajoling and sweet before he took a bite.
I glanced at Trix, and she shrugged and speared a meatball.
“Well, I’d like to go to church with you on Sunday,” I said, starting with some trauma that would help him see sense.
“Great. Do you mind going to a party afterwards, or shall we stay home all day singing hymns and reading prayer books? Literally, I’d rather sing hymns and read prayer books. I hate parties, I always have, but they’re part of the business. Starting to wonder if I like anything about it.”
“Oh, um, I guess a party with the team afterwards would be fine.” Why was he so stubbornly agreeable? Because this was his fight, to prove that he could be whatever I needed him to be, but why would he want to fight for that?
He nodded. “That’s settled then. Do you have a particular church you’d like to go to? Closest, latest so you can sleep in, one with the most stained glass windows, what’s your preference?”
I blinked at him then at Trix. She smiled at me blandly and rolled her noodles on her fork.
“I like stained glass windows and sleeping in,” I finally said, but I was feeling like this fight was already lost. I wasn’t sure if I was the winner or not, though, because I didn’t want him to find another girl to spend his six months with. Not even a little bit.
He smiled and leaned a little closer. “I love sleeping in.” He was so incredibly handsome, and I had a flashback from the time when I was perched on the edge of the tub and he was asking me what I wanted. Was it hot in there?
“Time-out,” Trixie said, making the international hand signal. “That was a come-on. No seducing her into this.”
“He was talking about literally sleeping. He’s never going to seduce me for real,” I said with a shrug like I didn’t care. Did I? Oh, I cared. I wanted to be with him in every possible way, just drown in him forever and ever. I liked not hurting. I’d almost forgotten what being bruised all the time was like because Nix was so careful with me.
Trix snorted. “Mm hm. Now that you’ve gotten church sorted, next point of conflict.”
“You sound like a referee,” I said.
She nodded. “It’s a gift I have. So, Sunshine, what else do you want?”
“I already got a kitchen,” I said slowly, glancing up at Nix through my lashes. He took a second to wink at me before he took a large bite of noodles. “Nix, what was the whole deal with your mother? Why would you agree to do something you hate so much? What exactly did you get out of it?”
