Page 72 of To Build a Home
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” I chant over and over in between kisses.
“What?” He pulls back, holding my face in his hands. “Why are you sorry, baby?”
“I got scared. I ran earlier, and then I was even more scared when I pulled up and thought you weren’t here. Your truck was in the driveway, but no lights were on.”
“No,” he cuts me off. “I just got home. I couldn’t stand being here without you, so I went into work to distract myself, thinking that the time that passed would make it easier being here, but it wasn’t, so I left the lights off. But I was actually about to leave.”
My mouth gapes open, but he takes advantage and slams his lips against mine, stealing the breath from my lungs.
“I was coming to get you. To tell you that—” He pauses.
“Tell me what?”
“Fuck,” he exhales. “This wasn’t at all how I had planned to do this, but fuck it, no more secrets. No more waiting.”
I hold my breath as anxiety washes over me at what he has to say.Oh God, please don’t tell me I fucked this all up completely.But when he finally speaks, the breath leaves my body for an entirely different reason.
“I love you.”
“What?” I gasp.
“I love you,” he repeats. “This morning, I took off work not only to spend the day with you and Gabby before we came clean to everyone, but I had planned to tell you I love you. For some stupid reason, I thought it should be some elaborate event when I finally told a woman those words, but the time and place don’t matter. All that matters is the person you’re telling them to. I was terrified that after the shenanigans this morning, I missed out on my chance to tell you. You don’t need to say it now, but I don’t want to go another moment without you knowing them.”
I jump off his lap and head toward the front door, where I dropped my bag—more importantly, what is in said bag. Movement out of the corner of my eyes causes me to pause. Rhyland stands, panic lining his beautiful face.Fuck, I didn’t think that through.Here he is, for the first time telling someonethat he loves them, and they’re fucking running from them like the world is on fire.Great job, Pay.
“Wait, no, you stay right here.” My voice comes out slightly more demanding than I had originally planned. “Please.” My voice softens. “Just trust me.” A low chuckle slips from his smirking lips, but he complies and sits back down.
I quickly grab the bag, and as I make my way back to him, I pull out my diary.
His eyes drop to the book in my hands as I take a seat on the opposite side of the couch. “Is that…?”
“My diary? Yep. The exact one you gave me after Ollie had thrown my other one in the mud because he couldn’t break the lock on it. I was heartbroken over it.”
“I remember,” he breathes. “When you wouldn’t come out of your room that night for dinner, I tried to get Ollie to apologize, but he wouldn’t. So I went out and bought this for you.”
“Mom had apparently found it while cleaning out storage bins in the garage. I wanted to read you some excerpts I wrote that helped me realize something.”
“Okay.” He nods and turns his body toward mine. “But do you have to sit all the way over there?”
“Yes,” I giggle as I flip through the diary to the first flagged entry. “If you haven’t noticed, you are quite distracting.”
He places his hand on his chest dramatically as if to say, “Who, me?”
I roll my eyes and pull my legs up under me to get comfortable as I read the first entry.
“Dear Diary—”
Rhyland snickers from his seat and quickly covers his mouth with his palm. “I’m sorry, I just…” He hesitates as if deciding his words carefully. “This is a big moment. Ollie and I spent years wondering what on earth you wrote in there, and I guess I just never pictured you as a Dear Diary girl.” He puts his hands up indefense. “I’m sorry. I promise I’ll remain quiet. Please continue.” He follows it up with a damn panty-melting smile.
“Dear Diary,”I repeat, with a hint of false annoyance.“Today was awful! Like stick a needle in my eye bad. Tommy Evans is stupid, and I hope he forever has cooties. I don’t think I’m ever going back to the community pool. I’d rather sweat to death than have Tommy and his dumb friends make fun of me again for my boobs or, well, lack thereof. It’s not my fault they haven’t come in yet.
I was drowning myself in a giant bowl of Cocoa Puffs when Rhyland walked in through the back door. He was helping Dad, Archer, and Ollie do yardwork. He’s been hanging out here more than usual, with it being summer break. His dad is always working. I don’t mind, though. Especially when he came in shirtless and sweaty. He could totally be a model like the ones on those shopping bags. I tried to hide my tears with my hair, but he forced me to talk. I was always powerless with him.
Rhyland called me beautiful. Okay, well, maybe he called my smile beautiful and said that I shouldn’t let any idiots take that away from me. Little does he know that I’d save all my smiles for him.
Talk Soon! Love, Payton.”
“I thought I loved Dear Diary, but nope, it’s the ending that is my favorite.”
