Page 109 of Nine Week Nanny
A tear finally escapes, sliding down her cheek. I can't stop myself from reaching up to brush it away. When she doesn't pull back, I gather her into my arms.
She buries her face against my shoulder, her body shaking with quiet sobs. I hold her tight, breathing in the scent of her hair, relief washing through me.
But there's still more I'm not saying. I haven’t told her about the photos, how explicit they are, how they'd humiliate her if they became public. I can't bring myself to tell her that part. Not yet.
She pulls back slightly, wiping her eyes. "I'm sorry I've caused trouble for you and Lennon. I think it's best if we leave this be."
"No." The word bursts out sharper than I intended. My hands tighten on her arms. "Please, don't. Don't let Chris win like that."
Her eyes widen at my intensity.
"Trust me, Sloane. I need you to trust me."
She searches my face, looking for something. I hope she finds it.
"Will you give me a chance to show you that you can trust me?" I whisper.
Sloane's fingers curl lightly against my chest where she's pushed away. Her eyes are puffy, face flushed. The night air carries the distant sound of waves crashing on shore.
"I can't be what you need," she finally whispers.
The words hit like a physical blow. "You are what I need."
"Pope, I had no idea what was going on, what was swirling around in your life. Nothing. And now this stuff with your dad, with Lennon, and I'm still his nanny, even if I'm notjustthe nanny. It's just not the right time."
"That's not?—"
"Let me finish." Her voice is soft but firm. "This was never going to last. It was always temporary. Nine weeks. That was the deal."
The thought of going back to before, of losing her, makes me nauseous. Words I've never said to anyone tumble out before I can stop them.
"I love you."
I kiss her before she can respond, desperate and raw. For a moment, she melts against me, fingers gripping my shirt. Then she breaks away.
"Don’t say that." She shakes her head, eyes wide. "Not now. You’re just… reeling from everything."
"I know what I feel."
"No, you don’t." Her hands tremble. "Look at everything that’s happening. Your entire life has been flipped upside down. What matters right now is that little boy in there."
"That doesn't change how I feel about you."
She rubs her temple, tears threatening again. "I'll still be here for Lennon. I won't leave him. But we need boundaries, Pope. Real ones. For his sake. For all our sakes."
My throat tightens. I want to argue, to convince her we can find a way, but I see the resolve in her eyes. Pushing her now would only drive her further away.
"I understand." The words are gravel in my mouth. "Maybe with time, you'll trust me, you'll let me show you. But if you need me to respect boundaries, I will."
Sloane nods, wrapping her arms around herself against the night air. Or maybe against me.
"Thank you."
We sit perpendicular to each other, she on the sofa and I on the chair. The space between us impossible to cross.
"I should go upstairs," she says, but doesn't move.
"Yeah." I don't move either.
