Page 88 of Nine Week Nanny
I nod, taking in the cheerful buzz of lunchtime chatter. "Feels like a slice of home, even if it’s someone else's."
Angela's hand plays with the edge of the napkin, her engagement and wedding rings catching the light.
"Micah was so bummed when I told him his buddy wouldn't be there today. He's really going to have a hard time when Lennon leaves." Her tone dances on the edge of worry.
"I can identify with that. I try not to think about it," I reply, swirling my straw in the citrusy concoction. I've noticed recently the anxious pang in my chest when I look too far ahead.
Our grain bowls arrive, vibrant and colorful. I pick up a roasted carrot and savor its caramelized burst. "Wow. This is so good."
"Told you. My fav!"
Sunlight splashes through the windows, turning the glasses of iced tea into prisms on the tablecloth. I watch a droplet slide down my glass, wondering how things went with the meeting. They are probably heading out right about now to head back.
"Did you show those fun math games I emailed you to Lennon last night?" Angela asks, pulling me out of my thoughts. She tucks a strand of blonde hair behind her ear. "Micah can't get enough of them."
I nod, half-listening. "I didn't, but I ordered some fraction tiles this morning. I'm trying to find educational things for the new weekend nanny to do with Lennon when I'm not there. I was thinking you and I can share them for the boys, too, during the week."
"Thank you. Tyler finally slept through the night, so my brain is actually functioning today." Angela takes a bite of quinoa, studying me. "You're somewhere else right now, too. Everything okay with Lennon?"
"Lennon's great, actually. I was just wondering how the meeting went." I hesitate, picking at my bowl. "It's Pope, actually, if I'm being honest."
I stab at a piece of lettuce, trying to look casual while my pulse trips
Angela's eyebrows lift slightly. "Ah. The very attractive, very intense big brother protector."
Heat creeps into my cheeks. "I've done something really unprofessional."
"You slept with him," Angela states plainly, not a question. She leans back in her chair, a knowing smile tugging her mouth as she says it.
When my eyes widen, she laughs softly. "Honey, I saw how you blushed when I mentioned him yesterday. Plus, I've been married long enough to recognize that 'I've been thoroughly satisfied' glow."
"God, is it that obvious?" I press my palms to my face. The clink of silverware from the next table feels suddenly too loud, like everyone must’ve heard her.
"Only to another woman." Angela leans forward. "So what's the problem? You're both adults. Good for you."
"He's my employer, for one thing. And I'm here to care for Lennon, not, you know…. I'm supposed to be focused on helping that little boy through his grief, not," I drop my voice, not sure I want to say the words out loud. I hunch forward, shoulders curling, wishing the floor would swallow me.
"No what, being an adult with your life outside of work?"
"I'm not supposed to be having sex in the pool after Lennon goes to bed."
Angela nearly chokes on her drink. "The pool? Well, now I'm impressed."
Her laugh bubbles out, spilling across the table, and I can’t help the tiny grin tugging at my lips despite the heat in my cheeks.
"I'm so glad you said that. I've needed to get it off my chest but I didn't want you to think I was this terrible person." My throat loosens, and I realize I’ve been holding my breath.
"Sloane, I'm not your mother." Her expression softens, amusement giving way to something steadier.
She reaches across the table and squeezes my hand. "Look, life is messy. Pope obviously trusts you with Lennon, which says a lot about how he sees you. You're not just the help. And, honestly, I don't really see the problem as long as you're doing your job during the day."
"Well, there is the giant elephant in the room that this is all temporary. All of it. In a matter of weeks, Camila takes Lennon, I start my real job, and Pope..."
"Goes back to being Pope," she finishes for me. "That doesn't mean what's happening now isn't real."
For the first time all day, I take a full breath.
"Thank you. You have no idea how much talking to you about this has helped me."
