Page 92 of The Agent
Natalie pulled away to look at him, seeing the guilt dragging at his eyes and mouth. “Why do you keep saying that? You saved me and Regina.”
He shook his head. “I should have checked out Sarah Lacey in person. My intuition would have told me she was faking it. Instead, I ...” He stopped.
“I’mthe one who should have figured out Sarah Lacey was lying,” Natalie said. “Every time I tried to start a conversation about her husband, she got vague and avoided the subject. Most women can’t wait to tell me what their husbands have done. It’s a relief to have someone who believes them and understands.” Natalie hissed in a breath as she remembered Dobs’s confession. “She was genuinely terrified because Dobs kidnapped her daughter. You have to make sure the little girl is all right!”
“Shit!” Tully said and grabbed his vest, toggling a switch. “Leland, Van Houten took Sarah Lacey’s little girl as leverage on the mother. Make sure you find her.”
When Leland’s confirmation came through, Tully hit the switch again and tossed the vest aside.
“Relax, sweetheart,” Tully said, stroking her hair in a way that made her lean into his hand. “The police will follow up on Sarah Lacey’s involvement right away.”
The sudden worry that had stiffened her shoulders drained away and she sagged against him once more, his arms tightening around her.
They sat that way in silence for several seconds before Tully spoke. “I’ve been thinking about what you said this morning. And what I felt tonight when I knew Van Houten had you.”
Natalie tensed, a strange anticipation licking through her as she waited for his next words.
He spoke again. “Maybe we both went into our relationship thinking it was one of those wedding hookups that wouldn’t last for long. Maybe that’s even why we started it. But it changed—well,Ichanged.”
He shifted as though uncomfortable but he kept his arms around her. “The reason I didn’t come check out Sarah Lacey was because I was afraid to see you. I was hurting way more than I should have been. I didn’t have the courage to face you when I knew it would rip my heart out.”
Natalie hadn’t thought his pain would make her happy, but little sparks of joy danced through her. She wanted to lift her head to see his face as he talked but she was afraid he would stop if she moved.
“Somehow you’ve gotten past all the crap I’ve been telling myself for years.” His chest pushed at her cheek as he took a deep breath. “I think we should give this a real shot. Hell, what I’m trying to find the courage to say is that I love you, Nat. I bone-deep, head-spinning, gut-wrenching love you. I don’t want to let you go. Ever. Again.”
Natalie waited for doubt or dismay or reluctance to smother the happiness fluttering in her chest. She’d been so afraid of Tully and his big, protective personality crushing her hard-won independence. But she’d gotten it backward. She had faced Dobs because she trusted Tully to be there when she needed him. In fact, she could always trust him to use his strength to support her, not stomp on her. That’s who Tully was.
“Nat?” His prod was soft and tentative. “I understand if this is the wrong time. You don’t have to answer me now but I just needed to ...”
She lifted her head and leaned back in his arms to smile into his worried face. “We’re both stressed, exhausted, and feeling the aftereffects of adrenaline overload.”
His eyes clouded with resignation. “Yeah, that’s what I figured. Bad idea.”
“Goodidea,” she contradicted. “All our barriers are down. We’ve got nothing but honesty to offer each other.”
“I’ve been as honest as I know how,” he said, but hope lit the strained angles of his face.
“My turn then,” she said. “I was afraid of you.”
Horror twisted his expression. “Nat, I wouldneverhurt—”
She laid her palm over his lips. “Let me finish. You’re so larger than life, so insanely protective, so overwhelming. I thought you would smother me back into my old role of nodding and smiling and forgetting who I was.”
He looked shocked. “Why would I want you to be anything but what you are? That’s why I love you.”
“Matt said he loved me but what he really loved was winding me into a pretzel that would suit his needs. I was afraid that would happen again. Neither of us would have meant it to, but I didn’t trust myself to stand up to someone as powerful as you are.”
“But you’re the strongest person I know,” Tully said. “You got yourself out of a bad situation and made a whole new life for yourself.”
“A new lifealone. It was so much easier that way.” She cupped his cheek with one hand. “Then you strode in with your cowboy boots and made alone look not so good. But I fought it, fought you. I used what you told me about yourself on Friday night as an excuse to run. I told myself I was doing it because you’d shown me how vulnerable you were and I didn’t want to hurt you. But I was lying.”
“What were you lying about?” Tully asked, his gaze as intense as a laser beam.
“I didn’t want to admit that I’m in love with you.” She smiled as she said the words out loud. It felt amazing.
“Can you say that again?”
“I love you.” She slid one hand around his neck, trying to pull him down for a kiss.
