Page 63 of The Agent
Tully stared straight ahead for a few seconds. “We have to tie him to stalking you. That will put him in jail, whereas domestic abuse is hard to prove. If we can demonstrate that he’s a psychopath, we might get a judge to keep him away from his kid.”
“Then we have to do it. Whatever it takes.”
Tully turned to her, his eyes hard but his voice gentle. “Did your ex hurt you?”
“Not like that. It was more subtle.” She would have left sooner if Matt had hit her. “I didn’t understand that I was being abused until—well, for a long time.”
“He struck me as the type who needs to be the center of his universe and will do anything to make sure everyone around him agrees.”
“It took me years to figure that out, yet you nailed it in one meeting with him.” She felt like an idiot all over again.
“Sweetheart, you loved him. That makes it hard to see a person clearly.” Tully’s voice was gruff with understanding.
“I was like Regina with Dobs. I thought he loved me, because he gave me extravagant gifts and took me to Broadway plays.” She had been dazzled at first, then guilty that she wasn’t more grateful.
“He had to substitute grand gestures to trick you into believing he cared about you.” Tully looked thoughtful for a moment. “He was also showing off, proving how successful he was to the world.”
Natalie laughed without humor. “He got angry if I didn’t flaunt his gifts in front of our friends.”
“What made you finally leave him?” Tully asked, his voice holding nothing but compassion.
Natalie stared at the dark-red cherries in her empty Manhattan glass. If she told him, he would think she was a coward. If she chose not to tell him, she wouldfeellike a coward. Something about Tully compelled her to honesty. In fact, sheneededto tell him.
She took a deep breath and lifted her gaze to the bookshelves across from her. “He insisted that I was wrong and a failure so many times that I believed him. I felt worthless.” She looked back down at her glass. “I was visiting my mother and saw a bottle of sleeping pills on her bedside table. I picked it up and slipped it into my pocket to take home.” She blew out a breath. “It seemed like just going to sleep forever would be better than the life I was living.”
“Shit!” Tully hissed. Before she knew what was happening, he’d taken her martini glass away and pulled her against his chest, his arms wrapped around her like warm steel bands. “That bastard!”
Sobs welled up from deep inside her as she relived that moment of utter hopelessness when she stared into the black hole that was her future. Tully stroked her hair as her tears soaked the cotton of his shirt.
“Cry all you want,” he murmured.
She wanted to burrow in so that all she could feel was Tully’s heat and strength enveloping her. But she forced down the sobs and unclenched her fingers from the fabric she’d seized without knowing it. Giving a little push against his chest so he would release her, she brushed at the tears on her cheeks.
“I didn’t expect to cry,” she said with a crooked grimace of apology. “That was four years ago and I put the damn pill bottle back on the table about a half an hour later. Obviously.”
“Because you are one hell of a strong woman.” Tully swiped a cocktail napkin out of the stack on the table and handed it to her. “Even a scumbag like your ex couldn’t keep you down.”
His words sent a tendril of warmth spiraling into her heart. He didn’t think she was a coward after all. “That’s when I decided to get a divorce. I figured I couldn’t feel any worse than I already did.”
She blotted the moisture under her eyes and dared to look at him. His jaw was tight with anger but his eyes were luminous with concern—a potent combination.
“I hate that you had to reach that point,” he said. “But it got you to the right decision.”
“I feel sort of spineless that I didn’t leave him sooner but ...” She shrugged. “Divorce wasn’t something I expected to happen to me.”
But she never wanted to feel engulfed in that terrifying darkness again.
“You weren’t spineless.” He brushed back a damp strand of hair that had stuck to her cheek. “You were invested in the marriage.”
“You have to know when to cut your losses.” She had herself under control again, thank God. “How about another drink?”
“You sure?” Concern laced his voice. “They fool you because they go down smooth.”
“When it comes to Manhattans, I could drink you under the table.”
Tully’s smile held disbelief but he picked up the two glasses before unfolding his body from the sofa. The cushion under her lifted noticeably as his weight came off it. She felt untethered and vulnerable without him anchoring her.
That’s when she knew that he had been wrong about what he’d said when he’d walked her into the house. She wasn’t safe with him at all.
