Page 73 of The Agent
He shook his head. “It doesn’t matter how much you discuss not having children before you go into a relationship. Women change their minds. I’m not going to change mine.”
It broke her heart that he would deprive himself of love because of some misguided idea that every woman wanted her own baby. “You know, some woman might think having you as a husband would be worth not having a child.”
The angles of his face softened and he looked vulnerable. “She’d be making a bad bargain.”
How could he think that? “You should let her decide that.”
“I did. Once.” The softness disappeared. “She came to her senses and backed out.”
Someone had hurt him deeply. “I didn’t think you would give up so easily.”
He laughed, although it was with an edge. “You gotta know when to fold a bad hand. I think it might be the one useful thing I learned from my pa. Other than hownotto be as a husband and father.”
“He treated you badly, didn’t he?”
“He thought I was a worthless piece of shit, as he often told me.” His lips curled into a sneer. “Maybe I owe him for that because it lit a fire under me to prove that I wasn’t.”
So that was why he believed he was a bad bargain. “Well, you certainly proved it beyond a shadow of a doubt.”
“Who did I prove it to?” He shook his head, unhappiness clouding his eyes. She wanted to put her arms around him, to comfort him, but he reached out and hooked his finger in the sheet where it stretched over her cleavage. “Didn’t you say something about me being good in bed?”
“I might have.” He wanted to banish all those ugly memories by losing himself in sex.
“Let me prove it.” He tugged at the sheet so she released her hold on it.
And then he tipped her onto her back before stretching himself out over her.
After he’d driven her nearly out of her mind by exploring every inch of her body before he came inside her, they lay spooned together again. Tully’s breathing settled into the steady rhythm of sleep. The arm he had draped over her waist went lax and heavy.
She couldn’t relax because his words kept running through her mind. She could accept his determination not to have children. Natalie suspected that the parental dynamic had more to do with his siblings’ addictions than any genetics, but alcoholism did run in families.
But he wouldn’t even consider adoption because he believed he wouldn’t be enough as a husband. Natalie wanted to punch whatever woman had convinced him of that. He must have really loved her. And her rejection meshed so perfectly with his father’s opinion of him that Tully would have felt he deserved it. Anger roiled inside her.
How ironic thatshewanted to protecthim. Now that she’d glimpsed that deep insecurity within him, it made her want him more, not less. Because she could pour her love into all those dark, ugly corners and make him understand how very worthy he was.
She pulled her thoughts up short, nearly gasping out loud. Yes, she’d used the word “love.” About Tully.
Her heart pinched as she shoved the idea away. She could not be in love with him. She didn’t want to be. He didn’t want her to be.
Her life was perfect the way it was, the way she’d so painstakingly rebuilt it. Her new house set up just for her, her growing business, her trusted friends, her helping hand for women who needed it. Tully would explode all that without meaning to.
She wasn’t going to change herself for a man again, not even for Tully.
She needed to end this now. Before she got pulled in any deeper.
Chapter 17
“I want to go back to my house today,” Natalie said as they ate the Mexican omelet Tully had whipped up for breakfast. In his blue button-down shirt with its sleeves rolled up to his elbows, he looked even more delicious than the food. “There’s been nothing from the stalker for more than forty-eight hours.”
Tully put down his fork. “That just means that he’s going to come at you from a different direction.” He shook his head. “You’re staying here until we catch him.”
“I need to be home.” She could see him winding up to say no again, so she added, “I want to go back to my normal life.” She needed to put distance between the two of them.
“Sweetheart, your life won’t be normal until your stalker is in police custody.” His tone was patient but unyielding. “You’re safer here.”
“I’ll have the bodyguard with me at all times. You said she’s just as good as Pam.”
“Fine.” She saw a flare of annoyance in his eyes. “I have to go to the office today but I’ll come to your place tonight.”
