Page 78 of The Hacker
“Maybe I’m not handling it well, but I don’t know any other means to bear it,” he said in a near whisper.
She and Leland really were kindred spirits. They handled pain the same way, pouring themselves into jobs that demanded so much attention they wouldn’t have time to feel. Maybe it wasn’t healthy but it worked for them ... eventually.
Something shifted within her, making her heart flip. Beneath all the outward trappings of their different lives, they shared a fundamental way of dealing with what life threw at them. His money could buy all those things Leland had given his mother, but it couldn’t save him from the terrible grief of losing her. He was as human and vulnerable as Dawn was.
Which meant she could see past the computer genius and the founding partner with the pool built for him on the roof of a skyscraper. Whatever else might come between them, she could love him simply as a man.
She rose up on her knees and put her arms around him. “I understand.”
He didn’t move for a long moment. Then he wrapped his arms around her like he was drowning and she was his lifeline. When he buried his face in her shoulder, she stroked his hair and let him hold on to her.
As the minutes passed, she could feel the tension drain out of his shoulders and his grip on her loosen to an embrace. She continued to skim her palm over the silk of his hair, demanding nothing, as she savored the heat and weight of his body enveloping hers.
His ragged breathing evened out and he lifted his head to press a gentle kiss on her mouth. “You mentioned doing something more interesting than writing reports. I might take you up on that, darlin’.”
When her alarm went off the next morning, she had to squirm out from under the arm and leg that Leland had thrown over her during the night. Once she stopped the beeping, Leland made an inarticulate noise and pulled her back against him again. Exultation fizzed through her as she realized he’d slept through the rest of the night after they’d made slow, tender love. Well, they’d had to negotiate what time to set the alarm for, but she’d convinced him to make it a semicivilized hour.
“Are you awake?” she murmured quietly in case he wasn’t.
“About half and only happy about it because I woke up with you beside me.” His voice rumbled in her ear, its sound sleepy and relaxed. That sent another twirl of satisfaction through her.
She turned in his arms so she could face him on the pillow. “Before we have to deal with whatever Tully throws at us, I want to ask you to do something.”
His eyes opened, their blue especially brilliant so close up. “Go ahead.” But his voice was wary.
“When you’re missing your mom, tell me. I don’t care what time it is. Tell me instead of working.”
“Why?” Genuine surprise laced the single word.
“Because I know about using work to avoid the ugly feelings. I learned that it’s not healthy. You need to bring them out into the open. It makes them easier to bear.” Natalie and Alice had taught her that. She hadn’t really begun to heal until she’d shared with them how her past still controlled her life.
“I’m not going to wake you up in the middle of the night,” he said. “You need to sleep.”
“Yes, you are.” She brushed her fingertips over his cheek. “I want you to. I hope I’ll be here beside you, but if I’m not, call me.”
He frowned. “What am I supposed to say?”
“Just ‘I can’t sleep’ will do. I’ll know the reason.” She traced his eyebrow and then his cheekbone.
He caught her wrist and kissed her fingers. “I appreciate the thought.”
She didn’t push any further. Maybe the first time he got hit by grief he wouldn’t wake her up, but the second time he might. If he didn’t, she’d remind him until he took her up on her offer.
He snaked his arm under the covers and around her waist, sliding her close enough so her breasts were crushed against his chest and she could feel his semihard cock against her thigh. “God, I wish we could just stay here,” he said, nipping her earlobe.
How could that tiny pinch make her entire body flash to full arousal? “You have no idea how much I agree with you.”
He gave her butt a quick squeeze. “But we have arms dealers to catch.” He threw the covers off. “It’s your shower so you get to go first.”
“I have a better idea. Let’s go at the same time.”
He groaned and shook his head. “That will lead to distractions we don’t have time for. But I’ll take a rain check.”
She laughed and rolled off the mattress and onto her feet, stretching because her body hummed with a delightful combination of contentment and arousal.
Leland groaned again. “Stop torturing me, woman!”
An hour later, Dawn was dressed in her Work It Out training uniform and Leland wore the black outfit from the night before. They sat at the kitchen counter in front of Leland’s laptop, videoconferencing with Tully.
