Page 61 of Second Act
He wanted to kick himself for destroying the fragile trust that had been built between them. His attention caught on the detritus on the surgical table and tray. “Let me clean up. Just tell me where to put things.”
Her shoulders rose and fell as she drew in a deep breath. “Thanks,” she said with forced courtesy. “Put the scalpel handles, forceps, and scissors in the sink. The techs will take care of them in the morning.”
He carried her tools to the sink, setting them down carefully. As he followed her instructions and disposed of the other items in the proper receptacles, Jessica seemed to relax in his presence again. She scooped up the cat in the towel. “I’m going to let the Adamses see that Zora is okay but I’ll keep her here in a cage overnight.”
“I’ll join you and give Cornell an autograph.” He was using every weapon at his disposal to overcome his mistake.
This time her gratitude seemed genuine. “He’ll love that.”
The Adamses were relieved and appreciative that Zora’s surgery was successful. Cornell grinned with delight over the autograph Hugh scrawled on a sheet of paper he found on the front desk.
Hugh locked the door behind them while Jessica carried the cat into the back to settle her in an empty cage. He followed the sound of running water and found Jessica washing up in the tiny scrub-in room. “Go change your clothes,” she said, her gaze on her hands. “Leave the scrubs on the floor in my office.” She gave him a quick upward glance and strained smile. “You did great.”
He’d screwed up royally.
Jessica took her time dressing, partly because she was dog tired but mostly because she wanted to make sure Hugh was fully clothed before she faced him again. He’d reopened all the old emotional wounds, and she didn’t need the physical issue to make the situation more fraught.
Why did he care eight years later what had led her to break the engagement? She had rehearsed her farewell speech over and over again, stomach clenching and tears streaming down her cheeks. Now he admitted that he hadn’t even paid attention to her painfully chosen words? Or did he just not remember?
She yanked the brush through her hair, wincing as it snagged on a knot.
She didn’t owe him any more explanation, and she should just tell him so, rather than excavating all that agony. Yet she couldn’t ignore her new perspective on Hugh—his kindness with his fans, his generosity toward a young actor, his stalwart assistance tonight, even though he’d looked like he might throw up a couple of times. She smiled at that. Not to mention how he made her feel when he touched her. Like he found her the most extraordinary, fascinating lover he’d ever had.
She sighed, knowing she would put herself through the wringer again because the memory of their love still wielded power over her heart. Or maybe she was just a sucker, as Aidan claimed.
She adjusted her carnelian necklace in the mirror before she marched out the door.
Hugh sat in her ergonomic chair with his head tilted back and his eyes closed. A shadow of whiskers darkened his jawline, adding a slight roughness that enhanced his dark charisma.
Remorse nipped at her. She hoped it was true that the camera would love the fatigued look. “You should get some sleep,” she said softly.
He lifted his head and opened his eyes slowly, making the revelation of the brilliant turquoise all the more dramatic. “Honestly, I’m too hyped up to sleep. I was just reliving the surgery. Who knows when I’ll need to play a brilliant veterinarian?”
Jessica snorted at his use of “brilliant” before she sat down in the bilious-green vinyl chair that stood in front of the desk. “You asked why I broke the engagement.”
He sat up. “I had no right to—”
She lifted her hand, palm out. “Maybe I can say it better now because I have more distance to give me perspective.” She laced her fingers together on her knees and stared down at them, traveling back in time to her younger self to find the emotions she needed words for. “You were like a meteor blazing across the sky, growing brighter and brighter with each step you took toward your goal. I could see that you were going to succeed, because you had the talent and the drive and the discipline. But you needed a different partner to support you.”
A strange, guttural sound made her glance up. Hugh had braced his elbows on her desk and dropped his head into his hands.
“It wasn’t right or wrong. It was just a fact,” she said. “Your career required a wife who enjoyed the social aspect of being a star, someone who could schmooze the producers and directors, someone who caredabout designer gowns. I would never be that person.” She had left out the part about his constant criticism making her feel like a failure. Tears pricked at the back of her eyes, and she had to swallow before she could speak the next words. “I loved you...too much to hold you back. So I made the hardest decision of my life.”
“Dear God,” Hugh said into his hands.
“Look at how right I was,” Jessica said. “You’ve become the most recognized actor on the planet. You couldn’t have done that with me dragging you down.”
When Hugh lifted his head, anguish twisted his features. “All I knew is that you were leaving me. I couldn’t comprehend anything else about what was happening. I was so stupid.”
His pain squeezed her heart. “I didn’t understand how much your childhood had affected you. I get it now. You thought I didn’t love you enough to stay.”
“I was an adult.” He slapped the top of her desk with his open palm. “I should have acted like one.”
“Don’t say that, my love.” She covered her mouth with one hand as soon as she realized what she’d called him.
His gaze locked on her before he shook his head. “That was pity.”
Jessica wasn’t sure that was true, but she didn’t want to examine the possibility right now. “Not pity, just regret for what we once had.”
Hugh pushed up to his feet, his movements stiff and slow. “Time to take you home.”
“Hugh...” What could she say to him? “I didn’t want to leave you.”
“No one ever does.”
