Page 15 of Panther's Magpie
One hundred and sixty-eight hours.
Ten thousand and eighty minutes.
That’s how long it’s been since I last saw Aspen. Since I left her behind in a dingy biker bar even though it was the last thing I wanted to do.
It’s crazy to think how much can happen in a seven-day time span. Or, in this case, not happen. Aspen is still in the wind, and we aren’t any closer to finding her than we were the first day. My thumbs ache from me chewing on them with worry, and I also have a line of bruises lining my upper thighs from where I’ve been pinching myself in an attempt to ground myself in the present. My anxiety is at an all-time high.
After this is all said and done, a therapist is going to have a field day with me, that’s for sure.
Then again, there might never be enough therapy in the world to recover from this. Not for me, at least. The guilt will always eat at me.
Would have, could have, should have.
Sighing, I hit send on the final email and set my computer off to the side. A wave of sadness overcomes me, only this time it’s not with worry over Aspen but because I just withdrew us both from classes indefinitely. I didn’t know what else to do, and neither of us could miss any more classes. Thank God I knew her login info, otherwise, she would have kept falling farther and farther behind.
I genuinely enjoy the classes I’ve been taking, so the idea of not knowing if or when I will go back kills me. The only positive is that I don’t have to worry about losing our housing since we lived off campus already and I paid rent right before we hit the road to come here.
Looking away from the laptop, I eye the bedroom door. I know what I need to do, but I’m hesitant. It will go one of two ways. Either they will think it’s a horrible idea and keep me locked up, or they will think it’s brilliant and I’ll be forced to face those sick bastards once again.
I have to try. For Aspen. She would do the same for me. If it were me, she would burn the world down trying to find me. This is the least I could do.
With that in mind, I get off the bed and venture into the main area of the clubhouse. Eagle looks up and smiles.
“Hey, I was wondering when you would stop hiding.”
“I wasn’t hiding. I was actually withdrawing Aspen and me from our classes,” I inform him.
Eagle winces. “That sucks. How do you feel about it?”
“Hate it. Do you know if Panther is around?” I ask, changing the subject.
“He’s out at the moment. Anything I can do to help?”
“I have something I want to run by him.”
“How about you tell me while I feed you? We had some pizza delivered earlier,” he says as he points to the bar.
I look over and see four pizza boxes on the bar top, and suddenly it’s all I can smell. I don’t know how I missed it when I first walked out. I love pizza. I think it should be its own food group, so the fact that I missed it should be evidence enough that I’m distracted.
I follow Eagle over to the bar and take a seat.
“We have meat lovers, pepperoni, and supreme. Which do you want?”
“Meat lovers.”
Eagle sets two pieces onto a plate and hands it to me.
“Thank you.”
He leans forward and rests his arms on the bar. “No problem. How did you sleep last night?”
“About as good as you could expect.”
I pick a piece of sausage off the pizza and pop it into my mouth. Something about the taste of it offers me a little bit of comfort and normalcy. Something I desperately need right about now.
“I have an idea.”
Eagle shakes his head. “Finish your food first.”
