Page 90 of Take 2
My tummy is doing all kinds of stupid things. It’s the madness of getting through this incredible milestone. Adrenaline is screwing with my brain because I’m looking at him thinking we could get drinks or something. Like friendly, normal colleagues.
“I’ll see you at the awards.” His words deflate some part of me. “Good luck.” He walks away, and I know I should be grateful he didn’t ask. That is not a road I need to go down.
But disappointment washes over me as I watch him go.
It’s early in the schedule this year—the fourth award. Which is great. Not a lot of time to wait, sitting in anticipation. Rip it off like a Band-Aid. Good. Waiting is the worst. Listening to Diane Keaton and Keanu Reeves banter isso cute.So cute, and it’s not like I’m dying waiting for them to announce it. No, keep chatting. This is fine.
“It goes to …”No, Diane. Don’t drop it. Jesus.
She hands it to Keanu. He manages to hold onto the thing. “Preston Greene.Choking in the Dark.”
I close my eyes.No crying, no betting.Mom rubs my knee through my red lace gown.
The theatre is so loud, but it’s quiet in my head. I truly don’t know what to think.
When I look up, Preston is speaking, but I don’t hear him. The screen shows the gorgeous brunette who sat by him for his last Academy Awards too, wiping tears from her eyes.
Mom leans in close to my ear. “You okay?”
“Yeah.” I think I even smile. It’s outrageous to be upset. Who wins an Oscar this young? Who wins their first nomination? Well … Preston Greene won his firsttwo, but who’s counting?
The show happens. I’m sure it’s great. Never have I paid less attention to an Academy Awards, though. Except when I got engaged during one. And when I was making love to my husband during one or two.Shit.When I was there, I’d have sold my fucking soul to be here. Maybe I have.
When it’s over, I loop my arm through Mom’s, and she leads me away. I float out of the Dolby Theatre without feeling it.
We’re supposed to go to a party or something, right? Why would I have ever agreed to that?
Unsure of what exactly it is we’re doing, I swing through the bathroom of the hotel lobby. It’s attached to the theatre, and we’re staying here tonight. Maybe we’ll just skip the parties. It’s obnoxious of me since other people on my movie did win, but no one is going to understand the sting of this. The door opens while I’m washing my hands, and I look up to find a pair of emerald-green eyes on mine.
“Hi, Bella.”
My eyelids flutter to stop the tears from getting out. “Anna.” I turn and pull her into a tight hug. “It’s been too long, sweetie. How are you?”
“Oh, I’m fine. How are you? This … I’m sorry. It’s so weird.” She took our breakup hard, and as much as I love her, I didn’t ever want it to look like she took my side, so I kept my distance.
“No. No, I’m fine.” We’ve only checked in a few times over the years, namely every time I’ve felt like her brother pulled a rug out from under my feet. She seemed to think it was her jobto explain how Ryan ended up a screenwriter after our disastrous reunion, but I cut that off. It was not on her to tell me, and Ryan hasn’t tried again in these last three years. When he was nominated the first time, she only asked me if I saw the movie. I never responded.
She scrunches her red lips to the side. “I’d love it if you’d come … hang out with us.”She doesn’t want to say celebrate.“I understand if you don’t want to. But I miss you.”
“I miss you too. But, um … could we maybe have a girls’ lunch tomorrow?”
“I’m flying out early,” she says. “I managed to come out for the day as per his demands, but I can’t stay long.”
“Oh. I mean, I’ll probably be in New York at some point, and …” Why am I being such a baby about it? We’re going to be around each other forever. “Maybe one drink?”
That beautiful face I knew as a girl is now that of a gorgeous woman, and it lights up. “That’s great!” Anna pulls me out of the bathroom with the same excitement she would have ten years ago.
“Wait, Anna, I’m not trying to pull you from the Governor’s Ball or something.”
“No, no, no.” The wave of her hand is more graceful than it has any right to be. “You’re fine. We already slipped in and out. This is better.” She finds my mom, and they greet each other with as much warmth and excitement as Anna and I did a few minutes ago.
Staff dressed in black fuss about us wandering around unsupervised, but we’re obscure enough to go to the lobby bar without people freaking out about spotting us. Anna mutters something to Mom and pushes me toward the bar. Then they disappear. Of course.
Preston’s back is toward me, but I know it’s him. I know his hair, his shoulders, the way he stands. Why do I still know all that? When he turns around, it’s like Lisa’s party all over again. The shock of his eyes on me, the way the rest of the world disappears.
Somehow, my feet carry me the rest of the way to him. “Congratulations.”
He glances down as if winning an Academy Award is an embarrassment. “Thanks.”
