Page 2 of Take 2
“Oh, wow.” I glance up at her in her black dress and silver name tag. “You really don’t need to walk us all the way. No one knows who I am.”
“Oh, it’s my pleasure.” Her smile and voice have been honed for customer service. I doubt it’s her pleasure, but it is her job.
“All right.” The elevator arrives, and I’ve got one shoe off before the door closes. “You aren’t allowed to dress me ever again, by the way,” I say to James.
“First of all,” he says, “you will be my Barbie forever. Don’t tell lies. Secondly, if you were at a party right now, you wouldn’t have any problem with these.” He accepts the heels I shove at him and dangles one from his finger. “They are stunning.”
“Well, maybe the wardrobe choices should start assuming I’m going to be in a shitty mood after these things and hence not distracted enough to ignore suffering.”
Courtney appears to find the elevator buttons extremely interesting when I pull my bra out through the low neckline and let out a big sigh.
“Sure. I’ll just put you in Lululemon and Havaianas next time. You’ll love it when I tell you I assume you’re going to lose.”
I sweep my arms out with more drama than the freshest prima donnas in their first roles. “I am, in fact, a loser, so I wouldn’t really be able to blame you. Something breathable would be great. I was melting.”
“Nicole Kidman seemed to think it was chilly. She was in Keith’s jacket.”
“Well, they were in the VIP lounge section by the stage, all spread out. Writers who they knowlostget packed in tight.”
When we get to our floor, James sashays into the hallway, dragging out the words, “Pity partay,” like a frat guy at a bachelor party. “You are so lucky BTS only virtually attended; otherwise, I would be looking for them.”
“So, a disappointing night overall.” Bouncing around Hollywood stalking a boyband could have been a fun distraction. Maybe we’d even land in jail, an indisputable excuse to not answer calls and texts.
“Indeed. Notes for next year’s Oscars: less everyone else, more BTS talking about crying during Pixar movies. In the meantime, we party.”
“Are there streamers?”
“And a dart board with Preston’s face on it.”
“Excellent.” I tap the keycard and open the door. “Thank you, Courtney. Have a good night.”
She hurries back down the hall. Two steps into my room, I see it: the silver ice bucket on the dresser with a bottle of Grey Goose next to it.The sad girl Oscars alternative to champagne.
I gasp and whirl on James. “You didn’t! I was kidding about the shoes and the dress! We do noteverpre-plan for loser activities!” Bringing James could be considered just that, at least according to my parents and friends. Except they are wrong—it wasn’t the possibility of losing that kept me from bringing Mom again. It was Preston’s nomination and presence. James is the only person I trust to keep me from killing the man.
His jaw drops. “Of course I didn’t! I would never!” He sweeps over to the offending beverage and grabs a card near the bucket. His eyes widen and he folds it in half. “You know what? I forgot. I did order this ahead of time. I offer my resignation and hope you’ll give me a decent recommendation letter as I seek a new position as some other girl’s gay bestie.”
There’s no cute joke that can distract me from this. “Who sent it?”
“Me.”
“Liar!” I reach out for the card, but he holds it behind his back. “Give me that card.”
“No.”
When I lunge for it, he spins, and I twist around him. My hand slips on his arm as he reaches up and holds it over his head.
“Show me!” I use his shoulder for leverage as I jump, but as I didn’t pack climbing equipment, this isn’t going to work.
“Bet you wish you kept the heels on now.” Using my height against me. Low blow.
“James!” I tackle him to the bed and crawl over him to get to the card still clenched in his fist. I pry at it with both hands like a squirrel trying to crack a nut. “I will bite you.”
“Better my hand than you biting my head off.” He’s on his back, flopping like a fish on a pier.
“I’ll put your hand on my boob.”
“Ew.” He flicks the card to the pillows and rubs his freed wrist as I go after my quarry.
