Page 101 of Take 2
He clinks his glass to mine again, and we both finish them off. “At least we still have the Oscars.”
“We still have the Oscars,” I agree.
“Do you care about them this year?”
I shrug. “It’s kind of hard to care about anything. But I’m glad it’s happening.”
“Same.”
Anythinghappeningis kind of as good as it gets at the moment. We’re bored, restless, tired, and lonely, but at least we have the ninety-third Academy Awards.
Chapter Forty-One
“Areyougoingtosell me out to our driver again?” Ryan asks as we disembark the plane. My mind swivels between thinking of him as Ryan or Preston pretty rapidly. They are combining into one person now, but when I look at him with heart eyes, I tend to default toRyan.
“No. You’re using your secret identity.”
We step onto the escalator, me one step above him so I’m closer to his height. He weaves his fingers through mine. “Do you like having secrets of mine?”
“Your name is far from my favorite secret about you.” I give him a light kiss.
At every available moment of the baggage claim process and drive home, I keep hold of Ryan’s hand. LA is its typical bright, sunny self, and we meld back into it like we belong here. We do now. How weird is that? Being back feels like the test. Can we survive in our normal lives together? I push the door to my apartment open; it’s so weird to be showing him my home for the first time after everything we’ve been through.
My gray cat graces us with her presence, so I scoop her up and tell her I missed her while Ryan checks the place out.
“This is really nice, Bella.” He scratches Tabitha Paige’s head. “Of course, you got a pandemic pet.”
“Not the worst decision I made during that. Be grateful you didn’t have to pretend to like bread I baked.”
He takes my suitcase into the bedroom, and I follow him tentatively like the wrong step will shatter everything. His eyes meet mine, and he asks, “What’s wrong?”
TP jumps out of my arms, unwilling to be a shield, apparently.
“California broke us last time.”
Ryan comes back to where I’m leaning on the doorframe. “No,webroke us. Now we’re older and wiser. We know LA and our jobs.”
I sigh. “I wanted to call you when I felt my first earthquake.”
He wraps his arms around me the way I wish he’d done then. “Me too. And I always watched how close fires got to you.”
Why did I ever let this man go? Well, I’ve got him now. Just have to make sure I hold on tight. “Why did you stay? You didn’t even like it here. I figured you’d move back after we broke up.”
His chest rises and falls against me. “At first, I couldn’t be that far from you. Eventually, California grew on me.”
“Yeah, I’d say so.” I arch back to look at him and reach up to comb my fingers through his offensively silky hair. “Aren’t you scared at all? As much as I hate to put pressure on the situation, the thought of us breaking up again …” My throat tightens. This was the real reason I avoided him for so long. Not because I was angry about his career change or the awards. Because I don’t know how I’d survive losing him again.
“Yeah.” His hand slides up into my hair. “That was why I waited as long as I did. I always knew I wanted you back, and maybe waiting helped, or maybe it was just a waste of time. We still can’t guarantee forever, butright now,needing to be part of your life, talking to you, holding you, is much stronger than the fear for the future. I don’t want to hide from this or from you anymore. I loved who you were at eighteen, and I love who you are now. I want to be around to see who you’ll become and how we’ll love each other then.”
I rise onto my toes, and he pulls me tighter to him. “I love you. And loving you is worth the risk.” We kiss slowly, deeply. Fuck Pilates and dolphins, this is what calms me.
When he pulls back, there’s a mischievous look in his eyes. “You know what we need to catch up on, though?”
“I still haven’t seen all your movies?”
“Sure, but more importantly …” He holds up a finger and disappears into my closet. Hangers rattle against each other.
“What are you doing?”
