Page 60 of Can We Skip to the Good Part?
Ella leaned in as if about to share something that wasn’t for public consumption. “You bring out a different side of me. You,” she searched for words on the tablecloth before shooting her gaze back to Max, “slam me with big, overreaching emotions—hyperbolic ones. When I’m mad at you, I’m furious. When I’m calm, I’m the most serene person on earth. When I’m happy to see you, I could lasso the stars. It’s all very trippy.”
“And when you’re turned on?” Max asked around her glass of ice water.
Ella’s blue eyes went dark. “I think you can see the pattern.”
“And I identify more than you realize.”
Ella sat back in her chair, mystified. It was adorable. “Really? Because at all times you seem like a cool cucumber, unaffected and completely in control of not only your emotions, but the room in general.”
She nodded along, having heard it all before. “I think that all goes back to how I was raised, essentially by a mother who demanded excellence. And how do you achieve it? Learning to be unflappable in the face of pressure, competition, or any challenge. It was drilled into my head that if I exert energy entertaining emotion, well, then I’d already lost half the battle.”
“Emotions make you weak. Was it kind of like that?”
“Another good way to put it.”
“Add in a father who was so good-natured and optimistic that if a tornado were ripping through our house, he’d probably hold his spot in front of the TV and wave it off with a no-big-deal grin.” She fiddled with her spoon. “Two very different approaches to not actually emoting. Needless to say, it’s taken some work to undo some of that.”
“So, you’re telling me that you’re a bottler.” She smiled at the server who placed a basket of warm bread between them. “Bless you and your extended family,” Ella told him and took a deep inhale.
Max laughed because there Ella went again, appreciating all that was placed in front of her. “I don’t know if bottler is the right characterization. I do feel all of the things very acutely. I toss and turn at night when I’m stressed. I cry, not a lot, but sometimes, when I’m alone. I think what you’re picking up on is my determination not to show those feelings in a public venue.”
“What about to someone you’re very close to?” Ella asked and took a sip of water.
Max mimicked her with her own glass. “I think it would depend on the person.”
“Fair enough.”
Their server, Brielle, returned to take their order. The quiche Lorraine for Ella. The endive salad with pears for Max. “You don’t eat Oatmeal Hoopties, do you?” She said it as if she knew the answer, and it was a shame.
Max squinted, not following the thread. “I don’t think I have.”
“I figured as much when you ordered the very adult salad at the restaurant that specializes in butter and more butter.”
“Did I just break your heart?”
Ella took a moment to chew her bread, and Max took a moment to watch. “Only on your behalf. I’m starting to feel like I might have been called into your life for a reason.”
“You’re going to teach me about hoopty things?”
She nodded and hooked a strand of that blond hair behind her ear like a bread-eating pro. “I like the way you put that. Yes. Hoopties and all things silly should maybe go on our to-do list.”
“I’m all for lists. They are highly instrumental in making my workday happen.”
“See? I had a feeling you kept those. I do, too, but mainly just in my chaotic little head, and sometimes I misplace them there.” She shrugged. “I’d just like to see you enjoy your life more and feel okay about doing so.”
“I think you just told me I’m boring.”
“Listen.” Ella let her head drop back. “You are the least boring person I’ve met, and you need to understand how seriously I mean that.” She took a beat. “But you are stoic. Not that it isn’t hot.”
“I can plead guilty to this charge.” Their lunches arrived, and Max sat back, allowing her perfectly plated salad to be slid in front of her. “I like that you’re not. How about you help me emote and I help you advocate for yourself more often?”
Ella pointed at her with her fork. “I like that. I applaud the idea.”
“Then we’ve struck a deal, and I’ll have Sonya draw up the contract.”
“Hanging out with a lawyer is going to take some getting used to.”
“I’ll teach you what you need to know.”
