Page 79 of All Your Lies
The desire to trust him and reclaim what we had when we were teens consumes me, even though I know our current dynamic will never be the same as we had before. Perhaps I don’t want it to be. Both of us have transformed and grown since our youth and fit better now than we ever would have if none of the other bullshit had happened.
But the only thing I know for certain is if I go home with him now, I’ll let him do just about anything he wants with me. There wouldn’t be any objections on my part, and that’s not the way I want this to work.
My thighs rub together, remembering his earlier closeness. His creative way of still getting what he wanted but not pushing me too far. If anything, he pushed exactly where he needed to—driving me absolutely crazy and over the edge to where I would have let him do many more things to me. And for that reason, weneed to take a step back. It may seem illogical, given our recent actions and upcoming nuptials, but I can’t dispel this sense of unreadiness.
The car stops, and I go for the handle.
“No,” he murmurs.
Confused, I glance over at him, only to see him closing his car door and heading toward my side.
The car door opens, and he looks down at me while offering his hand. I’m thrown into the past.
7 YEARS AGO
I grab Gage’s hand like a lifeline as he pulls me from his car outside my house.
“Thank you,” I say as I wipe the moisture from my eyes.
Despite Marco’s absence, I placed second out of twenty-eight competitors in the finals of my swim meet. Mom and Dad had to go out of town for a funeral and Rosie had a dance competition. Marco promised he’d be there for me since no one else could, but he let me down once again. He’s been doing that a lot lately. Dad would’ve never done that to Mom.
Gage’s gaze meets mine as I stand before him, his bottom lip anxiously caught between his teeth. “You did amazing tonight, Lex. You should be proud of yourself. I know I’m proud of you.”
I feel another tear escape my eye and trickle down my cheek. Gage’s thumb comes to my rescue, wiping it away. I lean into his gentle touch. The comfort it gives is instant.
My second-place metal is now sandwiched between our two bodies, and for some reason, I wish it wasn’t there.
I don’t want the barrier between us.
Our eyes connect, and I experience a deep desire for Gage to be the one I’m destined to be with forever.
I can always count on him to come through for me, without fail. He didn’t have to support me tonight, but he did. He always does. I had a moment of sadness earlier when I looked into the crowd while receiving my metal. No one was there, but as my eyes scanned, I saw him off to the side with a smirk on his face and a package in his hand. At that moment, I felt a familiar wave of calm wash over me, the kind of ease that only he can bring.
In the future, he’ll be the reason behind another girl’s smile. The thought fills me with a mix of sadness and envy.
What if he marries Rocco’s little sister, Gia? She’s a couple of years younger than us and is just as crazy as her brother. Gage might like her. I don’t want him to like her, though, or any other girl, for that matter.
“Hey, everything’s going to be okay,” he says as another tear falls from my eye, but this tear isn’t for me. This tear is for Gage’s fake marriage I just created in my head. “No guy is worth your tears. Brother or not, he doesn’t deserve them,” he murmurs, thinking I’m crying about his brother when, really, I’m crying at the thought of losing him to another girl one day.
He wraps an arm around me and directs me to my front door.
“Let’s get you inside. I saw you eyeing that entremont on the way home,” he says with a smile as he holds up the dessert he bought me. My favorite dessert. One day he’ll surprise someone else with her favorite dessert. Sometimes life is so unfair.
I scrunch my nose until I sense him gazing down at me and try to offer him a small smile.
“You still want to go shopping for your dress for the dance tomorrow, yeah?” he asks, probably trying to get my mind off tonight.
“Yeah.” I sigh.
Gage insists on accompanying me all the way to my door. Exhausted, I surrender without resistance, allowing him to lead me along.
As I pull my key from my bag, I notice Gage is already inside my place. I thought I locked it earlier.
I step past the threshold and into utter chaos. The once pristine brown leather couch now bears the marks of multiple knife stabbings. The few frames I brought with me are nothing more than broken shards of glass on the ground.
My heart hammers against my ribs as I reach my bedroom door and freeze. There isn’t one thing in place. Broken wood pieces surround the dresser drawers, which were once filled with clothes. Feathers cover every surface from remnants of shredded pillows and my down comforter. But what has my stomach in my throat is the dozens of roses thrown on my bed with all of my panties, which seem shredded too.
I join Gage at the foot of my bed, where he’s examining everything, and then I pick up a pair of my panties to inspect them.
