Page 9 of Kalix
By the time the professor wraps everything up, I’m starting to feel a bit better.
Instead of getting up and rushing out, I decide to wait and see what the guy next to me does. I don’t look over, but I can see him out of the corner of my eye as he slowly stands up and grabs his things. He lingers momentarily before following his friends out.
I gather my belongings and make my way over to speak with the professor.
“Hi, Professor Wallace,” I say.
He smiles at me, “Hi, Lainey. Is there something I can help you with?”
I wring my hands together, “This is kind of embarrassing, but I was unable to pay attention during the lecture today because I was having a mini panic attack. Which chapters do I need to study?”
His brows bend, “Are you okay?” He seems concerned.
I nervously chuckle, “Yeah, I’m fine. I’m not sure what happened.” It’s a lie. I don’t want to tell him that I feel uncomfortable around a classmate and cause a scene over something that’s probably all in my head.
He nods as he writes down the chapters I need to review on a sticky note and hands it to me.
“Thank you,” I say, and make my way to my apartment.
I can tell my medicine has fully kicked in now, because I feel lighter and less paranoid. I should probably eat something so I don’t end up feeling sick.
I decide to stop by the sandwich shop before I get home. I order a turkey and provolone sub with tomatoes, spinach, banana peppers, pickles, mustard, and mayo. I also grab a fountain cola and a bag ofCool Ranch Doritos, knowing I have a container of sour cream at home to dip them in.
Time to catch up on what I missed in class.
CHAPTER 9
KALIX
Beginning Of Class
“The fuck?”I say to the guys over my shoulder as we walk into class. My little rabbit isn’t where she normally sits. At this point, we’ve basically claimed our spots. No one dares to sit where we do every week, so this change is going to fuck it all up.
A quick glance around the room reveals she decided to sit in the back. How weird. She never sits in the back. It makes me question just how much she’s really picking up on cues.
I know she’s a flighty thing, always looking over her shoulder even when there’s no way for her to know I’m there.
Making a quick decision, I walk down the aisle she’s in and sit a few seats down. The guys followbehind me, taking up three more chairs to my left and I relax. Leaning back, I watch a group of rowdy frat boys come in and eye us, we’re clearly taking their self-proclaimed seats but I fucking dare them to try something.
They choose wisely, deciding to move a couple rows up and I smile at myself.
That’s what I fucking thought.
I feel her eyes on me, so I look over, her blue eyes boring into me. She nervously adjusts her glasses while I keep a straight face, refusing to acknowledge the moment between us, but in reality, my heart is beating out of my chest. My lungs seize. I’m infatuated, obsessed, and she doesn’t even know the extent.
She breaks eye contact and I finally huff out a breath before turning back to the professor who has started the lecture.
I can feel the trepidation rolling off her in waves; she wants to look at me. The pull is there, it’s magnetic, but she refuses to give in to the temptation. The good girl and the bad boy, the two whose worlds aren’t supposed to collide, but here we are. Sitting so damn close, but not close enough. She should have her perky little ass sitting on my lap as I place soft kisses along her neck before bending her over the desk and railing into her from behind.
Ah, ah, ah,I tsk myself mentally. Not yet, but my time will come. Our time will come. Just wait it out.
The tell-tale sign of pills rattling breaks me out of my day dream and I sneak a glance out of my peripheralto see her taking a small white pill.Anti-anxiety.Such a good girl, taking her medicine like she should and prioritizing her mental health when I know she’s going off the charts right now. She hasn’t stopped fidgeting, and she’s clearly not paying attention. Her notebook has hardly been written in today, showing just how off she is. By now, she’d normally have filled at least a page and a half with jabber from the lecture.
As the minutes tick by, her legs stop bouncing and her breathing has become deeper. Clearly, her medicine is doing wonders to slow the racing thoughts in her mind.
If anything, she’s more vulnerable now that she is so calm. I love that she’s doing what is needed, but her paranoia also keeps her aware. She may not be great at finding the danger, but at least she’s paying attention.
Present
