‘It’s got nothing to do with the ice cream.’ The way she felt about Drew seemed to be bubbling up inside her. She wanted him to know she was almost certain she was falling in love with him and that she was already finding it hard to imagine a life without him. But then Teddie started to whinge.
‘I think someone has had enough of sitting around.’ Drew bent down and picked up the brightly coloured toy that Teddie had dropped. It was like a heavy-duty version of bubble wrap, one that could be popped in and out repeatedly, although Teddie was inclined to try and bite off the bubbles if no one was watching. Drew stroked Teddie’s hand before he passed it back to him. ‘There you go, lovely boy.’
The moment might have passed to tell Drew how she felt, but as Eden watched him with her son she was more certain than ever that what she felt for him was love. She’d just have to wait for the right time to tell him and with Teddie getting increasingly frustrated at sitting still, now wasn’t it.
‘Shall we take him up to the country park?’ She asked, looking at Drew who was already reaching forward to lift Teddie up. He didn’t care that he might be about to get smeared with ice cream, or that his peaceful early evening down by the beach was about to turn into something very different. He just wanted to be with Eden and Teddie, and it was all she wanted too. If that wasn’t enough to prove that this was love, she didn’t know what was.
* * *
After Eden got home and had put Teddie to bed, she thought about messaging Drew to thank him for a lovely time and to tell him how she felt. In her determination to tell him at the right moment, she hadn’t considered whether or not it would be the right moment for him too. Suddenly she was wondering if it might be easier for him if she put it all in a message, especially if he wasn’t ready to reciprocate those feelings.
She was still staring at her phone, trying to decide whether texting Drew was the way to go, when an email popped up from Sadie. She hadn’t given Jesse’s sister her new mobile number but, unlike her ex, Eden hadn’t blocked Sadie’s emails. She had no idea what his sister could possibly want, but she was already dreading the contents of the message, even before she opened it.
Have you heard from Jesse? He’s left a note saying that he messed everything up with you and Teddie, and that if he can’t put it right he doesn’t want to be here any more. After you left, he finally started getting the help he needed, so he could prove to you that he’s changed because he was convinced you’d eventually come back. But when you didn’t call on his birthday, I think he realised it was all too late and he started spiralling again. Please call me on the number below if you hear anything at all. I’m terrified.
It felt as if Eden couldn’t breathe as she read the message. It wasn’t difficult to read between the lines and see that nothing had really changed despite the work Jesse had supposedly been doing on himself. All these months she’d hoped he might finally be moving on and accepting that she’d needed to break free, but he’d been biding his time, believing it was just a matter of waiting it out before she was sucked back into the toxic mess she’d been a part of for so long. Eden was a different person now, though. She didn’t really believe the threats he’d made to his sister, and the thought of Jesse coming back into her life was suffocating. She didn’t want to see him, and she definitely didn’t want to put Teddie through all the trauma that Jesse would bring into their lives, but despite all that she knew how desperate Sadie would be and just the thought of how she’d feel if it was Felix meant she couldn’t simply ignore the email. Even as she picked up the phone to make the call, her stomach started churning. She was opening up lines of communication she’d tried so hard to close down, certain she knew exactly how the conversation was about to go, and within minutes she was proven right. Sadie was beside herself with worry, and convinced that Jesse was going to follow through on his threat this time.
‘Please will you come and speak to him.’ Sadie was pleading now and Eden could picture Jesse’s sister desperately trying to find the words to persuade her to help find him. ‘I’m not asking you to make him any promises, but if he sees you face to face and you let him know that you and Teddie are okay, he might be able to forgive himself and see a way forward.’
Eden wanted to tell Sadie that this was just Jesse doing what he always did, and looking for someone to help him out of a bad situation he’d got himself into. He could so easily play the victim and make out he wanted to change, but Eden couldn’t see that happening, not really. Even so, when Sadie burst into tears, she found herself agreeing. She really didn’t want to go and if she could have come up with any other solution she would have taken it. But despite her feelings for Jesse having died years ago, he was still Teddie’s father and Sadie’s brother, and if there was even the tiniest chance she had the power to prevent something happening to him she’d never be able to forgive herself if she stood by and did nothing. Even as an internal battle raged within her, Eden realised she could make this work if she had to. She was about to start a week off work and she could make the journey back to London, and still be home in time for a trip she and Drew had planned down to Lizard Point, but he was going to want to know why she wouldn’t be around for the next few days.
Eden knew she should phone him, but it would be easier to explain in writing. She didn’t want to run the risk of it coming out wrong, and Drew thinking there was still something between her and Jesse, so she typed out a text instead.
I’ve just had a call from Jesse’s sister. He’s gone missing and she’s worried he’s going to do something silly. She thinks I can help and I don’t want her to have to face this alone xx
Eden stared at the message for a moment, wondering how she’d feel if she was in Drew’s position, and if he was the one travelling hundreds of miles because he somehow still felt responsible for his ex-partner. She couldn’t pretend she’d have been comfortable with that and she knew that Drew’s experience with his father had made him wary. Maybe it would be better if she didn’t give him quite so much detail. Deleting the message, she tried again.
I’ve just had a call from an old friend, she’s going through a really difficult time with her family and she’s got no support. I’m going to pop down to London for a couple of nights, just to make sure she’s okay, but I’ll be back in plenty of time for our trip. I can’t wait to have some time away with you xx
None of what she’d written was a lie, exactly. She just hadn’t spelt out the whole truth. She’d meant what she’d said about their trip away, and whatever else happened she was going to tell him then how she really felt. It might be scary and she was putting herself on the line yet again, but she was more certain of it than ever. She just had to get through the next few days and prove to Sadie that her worries about Jesse were unfounded. Maybe this was all for the best, and it would finally give her the closure she’d never really got with Jesse. After that she could look forward to facing the future with Drew. Yet, even as she tried to convince herself of that, a sense of foreboding made her shiver, and suddenly it was far harder to picture the future she’d been allowing herself to hope for. Her gut was telling her that this was a bad idea, but Jesse had spent years messing with her ability to trust her own instincts and, even after all their time apart, it was still playing to his advantage.
19
‘Please tell me you’re not really going down to London because you feel you need to protect that idiot from his own actions?’ Eden’s father shook his head, and for a moment she wanted to laugh. It was ironic that Dave felt so strongly about the idea, given that he’d spent years protecting his wife from the consequences of her own actions, but maybe love was what made the difference. If you loved someone, protecting them was what you wanted to do, even if it cost you dearly. Except she didn’t love Jesse and yet, here she was, willing to put her life on hold to chase after him. No wonder her dad sounded so shocked. She could hardly believe she was doing this either, but she’d witnessed so much death and bereavement in her job, and she’d seen what that had done to the people left behind. Jesse had made the same threat so many times and he’d never acted upon it, but his threats still had a hold on her and so did her sense of responsibility towards his sister.
‘I’m doing it for Sadie, not him. He’s the only family she’s got left and…’ She’d been about to compare their situation with what she and Felix had gone through, but that would just rake up all sorts of pain that none of them needed to relive, especially not now.
‘You’re a good person, Eddie.’ Felix dropped a kiss on her head, before looking across at his parents. ‘Some might say too good, but we wouldn’t really want to change that about her, would we?’
‘Of course not.’ Their mother’s smile was tight, as if there were a hundred things she wanted to say, but she wasn’t allowed to say any of them. ‘Just be careful. There might be reasons why Jesse has disappeared that you don’t want to get mixed up in. I want you to promise me that if anything feels off or weird, you’ll get on the next train home.’
‘I will.’ Eden nodded, before exchanging a brief look with her brother. It was hardly any surprise that their mother was already coming up with her own theories about what might have happened to Jesse, but Eden didn’t have time for that now. ‘I’ll be staying two nights at the most and then I’ll be back. If we haven’t found Jesse by then, I’ll try and persuade Sadie to report his disappearance to the police, but either way it won’t be my responsibility any more and I’m going to tell her that this is the last time I can ever get involved.’
‘Two nights.’ Her father nodded. ‘If you’re not back after that I’m coming to get you to make sure you’re safe.’
‘Okay, Dad.’ Eden smiled, a warm glow spreading inside her. It might be a bit late for her father to become the overprotective dad she’d missed out on during her childhood, but it felt good to know he cared so much, and that her mum and Felix would be looking out for her too. Right now Sadie didn’t have any of that kind of support, and if it was wrong for Eden to try and bridge that gap for a couple of days, then she’d just have to be wrong.
* * *
When Drew had got Eden’s message, it hadn’t surprised him all that much to learn that she was planning to be there for an old friend. It was just one of the things he loved about her, the fact she was willing to put herself out for the people she cared about. There he was, using that word again: love. There was no denying it any more though. Just the thought of how much he was going to miss her when she was away convinced him of that and he really wanted to see her before she left, even just for a few moments. It was probably a ridiculous idea to offer to drive her to the station, she could have walked there if she needed to and she had family who’d be only too willing to take her if not. He didn’t care, he was still going to ask her.
He assumed Teddie would be staying with her parents and Felix, but he wasn’t sure, and the thought of not seeing the little boy for the next few days was almost as much of a wrench as not seeing Eden. He hadn’t been certain he was capable of love, or even that he wanted to be, not when it put you at risk of so much hurt, but Eden and Teddie had found a way into his heart. They filled up the space that had felt so empty since losing Flora and his mother and he never wanted to lose them.
Drew rang Eden early on the morning she was due to leave, hoping it wouldn’t take much persuasion to let him drive her to the station. Although he knew she’d hate the idea of putting him out. Her phone was answered on the third ring.
‘Hello.’ The voice didn’t sound like Eden’s but it had to be.
‘It’s Drew,’ he said, despite the fact his name must have come up on her caller display.
