Page 83 of The Heartbreak Hotel
“I called her and she just blew the whole thing off,” Goldie says. “It’s impossible to get her to talk it through. We need to be there—I mean, Mark’s going to kick her out. She’ll be on the street.”
I notice thewe.That my sister isn’t asking me to handle this; she’s suggesting we do it together. But even still, the dread is like a blanket. Going home—to Ohio, to our mother—is the last thing I want to do. But I know, even before I respond, that I’ll go. Of course I will.
“Okay,” I say. “I’ll look at flights.”
“Right,” Goldie says. “I’m going to try—I mean, I don’t think I can get Quinn ready today, it’s already four—maybe first thingin the morning? I’ll look at tickets and text you? We can stay at that place near the old high school—with the pool Quinn likes?”
“Yeah.” My voice is soft, trailing away. I close my eyes. “Sounds good.”
The line clicks off. I leave my eyes closed.
“Lou?” It’s Mei, hesitant. “What’s going on?”
I sniff, opening my eyes and stuffing myself away. All the pain of this morning; Henry’s anguished eyes on mine; his hand dropping from my arm. I put myself in fix-it mode. The thing I’m best at.
“My mom’s sick,” I say. “I need to go to Ohio.”
Behind Mei, Nan and Pauline look at each other. “Pauline,” I say, standing, “I’m so sorry. I promise it’s not always such a mess here—today’s just been…I mean.” I wave a hand in the air and look at Mei. “I’m going to have to close.”
“Close?” Nan says, talking a step toward me. “The inn?”
“Yeah. I’m so sorry. I just—I don’t know how long I’ll be gone. I don’t know when I’ll be back.” I’m processing in real time, saying the words in the exact moment I think them. “There won’t be anyone to tend to the house, who knows where everything is. I’m leaving in the morning, I think—”
“I’m coming with you,” Mei says. When I open my mouth to protest, she holds up a hand. “When Andy left, you helped me. It’s my turn. I’ll be your chauffeur, or babysit Quinn so you and Goldie can handle shit, or whatever you need. I’ll email work. It’ll be fine.”
I don’t know what to say. The thought of Mei there with me makes it all so much more bearable that I could burst into tears on the spot.
“And I’ll manage things here,” Nan says. I shoot her a wet-eyed smile, shaking my head.
“Nan, no, I can’t ask you to—”
“I know who youcanask,” Mei says. We regard each other in silence. Like an underscore, her eyebrows lift.
Henry answers on the first ring.
“Thank god,” he says, but I can’t sink into him. I think of Joss, in the garden:He’s who you want, when everything goes to shit.Of Henry, in his living room:You know I’m not doing this for her.
“Henry,” I say. And then I ask for the one thing I’ve always been so awful at accepting. “I need help.”
Thirty-Three
The Columbus airport is gildedfor Christmas—all flocked trees and string-light stars and snowflake window clings in the souvenir shops. Quinn points out every decoration as we make our way toward the car rentals. He’s holding my hand, like the one grounding force tethering me to this earth.
“So this is Ohio,” Mei says, taking in the gray morning through the terminal’s tall windows.
“This is Ohio,” Goldie confirms. She’s been full throttle since we met her at her gate twenty minutes ago; before I could even give Quinn a hug she’d thrust her phone into my hand, open to her notes app riddled with residential treatment facilities in Columbus. This is where Goldie shines: not with feelings, but with logistics. I’d handed it back to her and picked up my nephew.
“Are you ready to see the pool?” I ask him now. We step onto the escalator and he clenches my hand for balance.
“Yeah,” Quinn says. “Mom packed my Christmas swim trunks.”
“Christmas swim trunks,” I say, raising my eyebrows at Goldie. “How appropriate.”
“I do what I can,” she mumbles, still scrolling through her phone. The plan is for Mei to bring Quinn to the hotel so Goldie and I can meet Mom at Mark’s house. She knows we’re coming, but doesn’t seem to see this for what it is—an intervention, an eviction, the demise of her relationship.
“Mei, did you bring your swimsuit?” Quinn cranes around to look at her over one shoulder, and I pick him up to set him on the solid ground at the end of the escalator.
“Duh,” Mei says. “We’re gonna play mermaids until you’re wrinkled up like a prune.”
