Page 3 of My Boyfriends Are All Monsters
A raven flew past my head and landed on the path in front of me. The creature turned around to stare at me, menacingly.
I was not particularly superstitious, but a raven standing in the middle of the trail, staring a bitch down, did not seem like thebestomen.
“Can I help you?”
Caw.
“I don’t ... I don’t know what to do with that information.”
Something growled on the path behind the bird.
“You know what? Down is good too. Good looking out, bird.” With an about-face, I rushed in the other direction. “Down is great, actually. Honestly, my first choice.”
I scurried down the path, away from the creepy bird, not bothering to look back until I reached the narrow end of the trail that required you to hug against the wall of the mountain. I tsked, completely having forgotten how freaked out this part had made me on the way up. Shifting my backpack higher, I tightened the straps and slid my feet along the path. “Couldn’t they put an actual road or something here? They can make a tunnel for a freaking freeway through the mountain, but they can’t make a hiking trail that doesn’t require me to Charleston sidestep my way through a damn—”
My foot slipped and I screamed, hugging myself against the wall. “Oh, fuck no. I’m heading back.” Reversing course, I started sidestepping right. A pebble fell on my head.
I looked up, only to see more rocks tumbling straight at me. A large rock slammed down close to my foot, taking a chunk of the path with it. “Oh, shit!” I jumped to my left and shimmied like my life depended on it. Pebbles turned to boulders in an instant. When the path widened out enough,I bolted, trying to get away. The ground rumbled like an earthquake as dust kicked up all around me. Something hit the back of my leg, and I went down hard. Screaming, I covered my head with my backpack and huddled for safety as close to the mountain wall as I could get.
After a few minutes, the dust settled, and I realized with no small surprise that I was still alive. My ankle hurt like a motherfucker. “This is what I get for taking my Black ass out in nature. This fresh air is an attack. I could have been home with a margarita, watchingLove Is Blind. That’s it; I’m swearing off men. Dating is the evil of this world, and I will find a convent to become a fucking nun.”
“You doing all right there, sister?” A voice chuckled. Out of the fog came one of the most beautiful men I’ve ever seen in my life. His blond hair was long and flowing, like in those Fabio romance novels, eyes bluer than the sky, and shoulders broad enough for some third thing I was too slack-jawed to figure out. With his red flannel shirt unbuttoned, I had a full view of the chiseled abs underneath. If the stranger didn’t look to be in his early thirties, I’d almost think hewasFabio.
Flannel Fabio knelt down beside me and inspected my ankle. “That looks like a nasty twist, ma’am. Are you hurt anywhere else?”
“I ...” must’ve hit my head because words were impossible. “I ...”
The man frowned as he looked me over. “Hmm, I’m not seeing any other injuries, but you might be in shock. You should head to the clinic to get checked out. It’s not too far from here. Let me take you there.” He moved to scoop me up.
I put a hand on his chest. “Oh, no, I’m heavy, and I’m sure I could walk on my own.” I shifted to get on my feet, but pain shot through my ankle, making me wince.
“All right, this is where I have to insist” was all the warning I got before I was lifted into a strong pair of arms. He settled me against his chest and said, “See? A dainty thing like you is no trouble. I’m Noah. What’s your name?”
I was a lot of things, but dainty wasn’t one of them. Still, Noah the Flannel Fabio didn’t even grunt as he lifted me. Fucking.Swoon. Did I say I swore off men? I meant dating apps. Yeah, that’s the one. “I’m Lucy.”
“Good to meet you, Lucy. Ever been on a horse before?”
“A ... a horse?” I asked.
Noah chuckled. “I’ll take that as a no. Don’t worry, Clide’s a gentleman.” A white horse appeared out of the fog and trotted up next to us.
Hesitantly, I let Noah help me onto the beast and relaxed into the saddle. Noah took the reins and guided the horse off to a smaller trail into the woods. “So ... do you and the princely-looking horse just patrol the mountainside searching for damsels in distress, or am I the lucky first?”
“You know, every day we set out with that hope but always turn up empty-handed. I was beginning to think beautiful damsels were a myth. Turns out I should have just been patrolling rockslides. But in all seriousness, you’re lucky I found you. My herd has been grazing on the other side of town for the past few weeks. If it wasn’t time to move them, who knows how long you would’ve been out here on your own.”
“Your herd?” I asked. He nodded to what looked like moving clouds in the fog. Noah whistled, and a gaggle of alpacas came closer to receive a scratch on the head. “There’s not a lot of pasture in these mountains, so I have to keep the herd moving.”
We chatted aimlessly until we came upon an adorable little town called Duskpetal. Redbrick storefronts along the main street, complete with hand-painted signs and flowerboxes lining every storefront. Elaborately carved pumpkins sat atop every windowsill, while scarecrows in witch hats guarded the holiday gourds from any passing birds willing to take a bite. Delicious smells of cinnamon and nutmeg wafted from the little bakery on the corner, and I made a mental note to drop by the coffee shop next to it advertising Ansel’s famous pumpkin spice latte.
Another ridiculously attractive man in flannel emerged from the bookstore across the street; he gave the shop dog a friendly pat on the head before approaching Noah and me. He was tall, lean, and beardless with a stunningly appealing face. “Noah, you sly dog. Where’d you find a pretty thing like this so far into the mountains?”
And he had good taste. Duskpetal was starting to look like my kind of town.
Noah flashed a grin and put his hand on my knee in a possessive gesture. “Ansel, this is Lucy; Lucy, Ansel, the best baker in Duskpetal.”
“Don’t let Beau hear you say that.” Ansel chuckled. Then he brought a hand to his mouth and whispered to me conspiratorially, “It’s true, though. I am.”
I inclined my head good-naturedly. “Nice to meet you.”
