Page 38 of That Time I Got Drunk and Saved a Human
The shadow dragon merely shook his head at me. “I’m getting Felix.”
“No,” I groaned.
He rose from his chair with a sigh. “There’s only so much I can do to help you in the face of you. Hold on, let me check my notes.” Fallon paused and held up his fingers to count my mounting indiscretions. “Biting her without consent, kidnapping—”
“That was to save her from another kidnapping,” I cut in.
“Semantics,” he said, waving me off. “Almost breaking her ribs and now drugging her. Is there anything else I should add to the list?”
“Well, I saved her life after harpies attacked her. Surely that must count for something.”
Fallon rested his chin on his fist and paused. “Follow-up question, did you destroy those harpies in front of her?”
“Of course. I tore the wings from their bodies so she knew they’d never hurt her again.”
Fallon tsked. “I’m going to add potential traumatization to the list of infractions.”
Frustration had my nails digging into the wood of my armrest. “You burned down a city in front of your mate,” I pointed out.
He shrugged and gave a wry smile. “We’re not talking about me here. My wife likes me just fine. Face it, there’s a good chance your wife is terrified of you. Luckily, Felix has experience with that.” With that Fallon rose from his chair. Presumably to go get the werewolf in question.
“She is not scared of me,” I grumbled. If he heard me, Fallon didn’t acknowledge it as he left the study. As much as I hated to admit it, he was right. I needed more help. Felix may have been irksome, but he possessed an amiable smile and sunny disposition that humans found reassuring. Even when he was possessed by a love potion, his own human wife was wrapped around his finger in a matter of days.
With Fallon gone, I took the opportunity to check on Cherry. In the center of the kitchen, my Hearthstone flashed. Kobolds emerged through the portal carrying more furniture from my storage. There hadn’t been time to find decent accommodations in my rush, but the small house I had managed to acquire would do. One kobold snapped her jaws to get my attention, then looked around the room as if to ask where I wanted the dresser in her hands. I instructed them to place it in the corner of Cherry’s bedroom.
My wife was sprawled out on the bed. At some point she had kicked away her covers. A small line of drool ran from her mouth to form a puddle on the pillow. Alexis had laid herself down at the end of the bed and fell silent soon after I placed Cherry there. I wasn’t entirely sure if the cursed object could sleep, but she seemed to be in some sort of stasis. Not that I minded, I was in no mood for company.
By the looks of it, Cherry had no plans to get up anytime soon. Carefully, I undid the laces on her boots and slid them off. Her face scrunched up when I removed the second boot. I looked down to see that the heel of her foot was bleeding. Not only that, the leather boots clearly had been mended time and time again, yet they were still barely holding on.
Anger and shame simmered in the pit of my gut. “I didn’t even notice she was in pain.” She was supposed to be in my care yet she felt she couldn’t even ask me for shoes. Another failure Fallon could undoubtedly add to his list. “Dammit.”
I grabbed her ruined boots and stormed out of the house. The streets were alive with humans bustling about. There were a few demons thrown into the mix but not many, from what I could see. It was surprising when I considered how close Kirkwall is to Volsog. With so many demons migrating out of the frozen wasteland, I assumed the city would be packed full of them.
The entire street was lined with tiny homes all scrunched together with shops dotted in between. A street vendor bellowed about a sale on apples while an angry woman with a baby strapped to her back haggled over the price of fabric. Yet no shoe store appeared when I scanned the area. With a city this large, it was damn near impossible to find what you were looking for.
I looked around and spotted a red orc loitering about. He didn’t have the same sense of urgency as the shop vendors, but he looked able-bodied enough to be of use. “You, Orc, stop!” I called. The orc turned and his red face paled at the sight of my horn. A dead giveaway for what I was.
“A dragon,” he stammered, backing away.
I grabbed him by the front of his cloak and pulled him close to my face. “I need you to do something for me.”
He held his hands up. “Please don’t eat me.”
“I need you to go to the shoe shop, and get every pair of boots that are a similar size to these.” I pushed Cherry’s boot into his chest as I released him.
He grabbed it back from me. His mouth fell open in bewilderment. “I’m sorry, you need me to buy shoes?”
I nodded. “When you have them, put them in front of my door here. Fail me in this endeavor and your family line will end with you.”
The orc had enough sense to look terrified and rushed off. “At least that’s one problem solved.” I returned inside and started heating a pot of coffee. My body felt ragged and I was desperate for sleep, but my mind was far too jumbled to even consider rest. I heard Fallon call my name from the magic mirror and returned to my seat.
Fallon and Felix were sitting beside each other in the dragon’s study. The werewolf’s normally chipper smile was downcast, and he regarded me with a stern look one would give a naughty child. Felix ran a hand down his face then leaned back in his chair with an exasperated sigh. “She is terrified of you.”
“What do I do?” I asked, scowling.
Felix leaned forward and rested his chin on his hands. “Bring her here and leave.”
“What?” I growled. “Why would I leave my wife? The whole point of asking you for help was to get in her good graces.”
