Page 16 of Thief of Night
Also note:He is terrifying.
Malhar:You can tell me to stop asking questions at any time and the interview will end.
Red:Good. Stop asking me questions.
Malhar:Don’t you want to remember?
Red:Remember what? Naming myself Vincent? Pretending to be a person and living among them? I don’t know. Should I want that?
Malhar:Whatdoyou want?
Red:To be…
Malhar:Human?
Red:To be or not to be. That is the question. Or what is it—I think therefore I am? And I am. Or at least I think I am. I am. Sam. Green eggs and ham.
Malhar:What does it mean when you talk that way?
Red:Maybe just that I don’t know what’s appropriate to say out loud. Some of my thoughts should probably be in chains.
Malhar:That’s a dramatic way of putting it.
Red:That’s what you think, though, isn’t it? That it would be easier if I was in chains.
Malhar:Why would you say that?
Red:I can tell you’re afraid.
Malhar:Of course I am. I’m aware that I don’t know you very well and that you could hurt me. You’ve hurt other people. You admitted that much. But I’ve decided to trust you.
Red:Is that smart?
Malhar:You tell me.
Red:I have wanted to be human.
Malhar:I’m surprised. A minute or so ago, I thought you felt otherwise. In fact, I thought you were mocking me for suggesting it.
Red:Who wants to be a thing full of holes? A half-woven tapestry? Something poised to unravel? Something that maybe shouldn’t be at all. I’m just the pieces someone else didn’t want. Why would I want to be as I am?
Malhar:Do you believe that? That that’s all a shadow is?
Red:Now you’re the one who must tell me. You’re the scientist.
Malhar:I’m anethnographer.
Red:And I am a creature made of holes. I don’t know what an ethnographer is.
Malhar:We’re supposed to be talking aboutyou. About how you see the world. And don’t worry about not knowing what an ethnographer is—my cousins give me endless crap about it not being a real job. Even my mother keeps forgetting what it means.
Red:I don’t know how to describe how I see the world. I don’t have anything to compare it with. I could say that I see it how it is, but I know too much for that. Like—what’s it called, the thing with the shadows on the wall of the cave? Plato?
Malhar:You are a disturbing combination of erudition and instability.
Red:Oh yes. I disturb even myself.
10Bad Advice
