Page 210 of Circle of Days
Joia knew that was true, but she also knew that shefeltlike an ordinary person. Even when she was standing on a giant stone whipping the crowd into a frenzy, a small voice in the back of her head said:This isn’t really me.
Then Dee said, in a casual tone: “I must go home tomorrow.”
Joia was shocked. “But why?” she said woefully.
“I have sheep to mind, and a baby niece I’m missing.”
“You’re going just for a few days?”
“No…”
“But… I thought we were going to be together from now on.”
Dee let go of Joia’s hand, and Joia felt it like a blow; then Dee said: “And what do you imagine I would do, if I didn’t go home?”
“I don’t know, but…”
“You didn’t think about it.”
“I just thought our love was strong enough to deal with any difficulties.”
“I can’t spend my life following you around and watching people worship you.”
Joia knew she was adored. Dee was not the first person to tell her. But she did not feel that she deserved their veneration, and because of that she never thought of herself as adored. She said: “But that’s the last thing I want.”
Dee took hold of both Joia’s hands and looked into her eyes. “My love—”
“Am I your love?” Joia interrupted. “Truly?”
“Yes, you are.”
Joia whispered: “Thank you.”
“But if we’re to be together, one of us must give up the life she’s been living.”
“But I assumed…”
“You assumed I’d give up mine.”
Joia felt ashamed. “I suppose I did.”
“You’ve just announced to the people that next year you’ll bring five crossbar stones from Stony Valley, each to be placed across the tops of two uprights, on the pattern of the timber Monument.”
“Yes.”
“You committed yourself to another year as a priestess without talking to me about it.”
Joia bowed her head in shame. “That’s true.”
“Would you give up your life as a priestess, here at the Monument, to be with me?”
Joia wanted to say yes, but could not. “I’ve promised to rebuild the Monument in stone… Thousands of people are expecting me to do it and want to support me… How could I walk away?”
“You believe your life is more important than mine.”
“I didn’t mean to say that.”
“But you thought it.”
