Page 269 of The Pillars of the Earth
“Now, and forevermore.”
“What do you mean?”
“We’re not going to live apart. We’re leaving Kingsbridge.”
“But what will you do?”
“Go to a different town and build another cathedral.”
“But you won’t be master. It won’t be your design.”
“One day I may get another chance. I’m young.”
It was possible, but the odds were against it, Aliena knew; and Jack knew it too. The sacrifice he was making for her moved her to tears. Nobody had ever loved her like this; nobody else ever would. But she was not willing to let him give up everything. “I won’t do it,” she said.
“What do you mean?”
“I’m not going to leave Kingsbridge.”
He was angry. “Why not? Anywhere else, we can live as man and wife, and nobody will care. We could even get married in a church.”
She touched his face. “I love you too much to take you away from Kingsbridge Cathedral.”
“That’s for me to decide.”
“Jack, I love you for offering. The fact that you’re ready to give up your life’s work to live with me is ... it almost breaks my heart that you should love me so much. But I don’t want to be the woman who took you away from the work you loved. I’m not willing to go with you that way. It will cast a shadow over our entire lives. You may forgive me for it, but I never will.”
Jack looked sad. “I know better than to fight you once you’ve decided. But what will we do?”
“We’ll try again for the annulment. We’ll live apart.”
He looked miserable.
She finished: “And we’ll come here every Sunday and break our promise.”
He pressed up against her, and she could feel him becoming aroused again. “Every Sunday?”
“Yes.”
“You might get pregnant again.”
“We’ll take that chance. And I’m going to start manufacturing cloth, as I used to. I’ve bought Philip’s unsold wool again, and I’m going to organize the townspeople to spin and weave it. Then I’ll felt it in the fulling mill.”
“How did you pay Philip?” Jack said in surprise.
“I haven’t, yet. I’m going to pay him in bales of cloth, when it’s made.”
Jack nodded. He said bitterly: “He agreed to that because he wants you to stay here so that I’ll stay.”
Aliena nodded. “But he’ll still get cheap cloth out of it.”
“Damn Philip. He always gets what he wants.”
Aliena saw that she had won. She kissed him and said: “I love you.”
He kissed her back, running his hands all over her body, greedily feeling her secret places. Then he stopped and said: “But I want to be with you every night, not just on Sundays.”
She kissed his ear. “One day we will,” she breathed. “I promise you.”
He moved behind her, drifting in the water, and pulled her to him, so that his legs were underneath her. She parted her thighs and floated down gently into his lap. He stroked her full breasts with his hands and played with her swollen nipples. Finally he penetrated her, and she shuddered with pleasure.
They made love slowly and gently in the cool pond, with the rush of the waterfall in their ears. Jack put his arms around her bump, and his knowing hands touched her between her legs, pressing and stroking as he went in and out. They had never done this before, made love this way, so that he could caress her most sensitive places at the same time, and it was sharply different, a more intense pleasure, different the way a stabbing pain is different from a dull ache; but perhaps that was because she felt so sad. After a while she abandoned herself to the sensation. Its intensity built up so quickly that the climax took her by surprise, almost frightening her, and she was racked by spasms of pleasure so convulsive that she screamed.
He stayed inside her, hard, unsatisfied, while she caught her breath. He was still, no longer thrusting, but she realized he had not reached a climax. After a while she began to move again, encouragingly, but he did not respond. She turned her head and kissed him over her shoulder. The water on his face was warm. He was weeping.
