Page 32 of Kiss Me at Christmas
Great! I’m an ungrateful cow. Well played, Mr. Knight.
“I’m just a little confused. You have a whole Jekyll and Hyde thing going on, and I’m struggling to keep up.”
“Right,” he said. “Yes, I can see how I might be coming across. My apologies, I find myself out of my comfort zone. I’m not accustomed to wearing more than one hat at a time, as it were.”
Presumably he was referring to his bedroom and business hats.
“Ours has not been a traditional ‘get to know you,’ ” she agreed.
Harriet didn’t usually let men into her home, not unless she’d been dating them for a while, vetted them fully. It was a rule that had allowed her flat to remain a haven for her and Maisy. She’d never wanted her daughter to have to worry about getting up in the morning to find a strange man sitting at the breakfast counter. A few men had passed the test and made it into the inner sanctumover the years, but most hadn’t, and she had always been pleased, when those relationships inevitably came to nothing, that she’d kept her sanctuary free from drama. And here she was breaking her own cardinal rule by letting in a one-night stand.
Her front door opened into a generous hexagon-shaped hallway that housed a console table—on which the poinsettia sat—a mustard clamshell chair, a white-painted French armoire for coats and shoes, and doors that led off to all the other rooms.
“You have a lovely home,” said James.
“Well, it’s not as swanky as your waterfall apartment, but I like it.”
“I’m surprised you can recall my apartment, you ran out of it so fast.” His sarcasm took her by surprise.
“Was that a dig? Or an accusation?” she asked.
“That was a statement of fact.”
Okay, we’re doing this, then.She had assumed “clear the air” meant sweep it under the carpet and start afresh; apparently not. Harriet pulled her ninth-favorite cardigan on over her eighth. She was cleaning a theater—this was not a time for best knitwear.
“I thought you’d be grateful not to have the entanglement. Isn’t that what most men want?” she asked honestly.
“Why would you think that? I thought we’d hit it off.” He sounded hurt. He sounded like she’d sounded after similar encounters.
This made her fluster. She wasn’t used to this kind of role reversal, and it caught her off guard.
“We did. It. It was…great,” she stammered. “But I’d assumed it was a onetime thing. Aren’t men usually champing at the bit to get rid of their conquests?” Herwords came out snippier than she’d intended as previous experiences sprang to her mind. There was nothing more demeaning than being given the cold shoulder by a lover while their sweat was still damp on your skin.
“A conquest?” His features contorted in chagrin. “Is that what you thought was happening? Like I’m some lowlife predator?”
This was too much.
“Don’t act so pious!” she snapped. “You can’t tell me you went out that night looking for a life partner. We both knew what we were getting. You don’t get to sleep with me and then slut-shame me for not expecting a promise of marriage afterward. That’s just another fudged-up form of sexism.”
He stared at the ceiling.
“You know, women like you make it harder for men like me to do better.”
Wow!
“Women like me?” Her high horse was rearing up on its hind legs. “What kind ofwomanam I like, in your humble opinion?”
James, clearly playing his words back in his head, shook his head and held his hands up. “I’m sorry. That came out really badly.”
He at least had the grace to look horrified.
“Yes, it did. For a lawyer you are surprisingly careless with your words.”
“Please, can I explain myself?”
“I don’t know. You can give it a try.” She folded her arms.
“What I was trying to convey, badly, is that I have been careless with women’s feelings in the past…I have been careless with people full stop. The fault ismine entirely. I’m trying to do better, and part of that is not being the type of man who sleeps with someone and then ghosts them.”
