Page 97 of A December to Remember
“Well, that was quite a spectacular mike-drop moment,” he said, trying to joke away the storm.
“You’re my landlord’s nephew?” She was having trouble making things fit in her head.What did this mean? Why wouldn’t he have mentioned this?“Did you know I was a tenant when you took the job?”
“Not right away.”
“But you work for Gilbert and Marks?”
“No. I did some freelance marketing for them occasionally; I haven’t done any for over a year.” He sighed, resigned. “Gilbert is the uncle who stole my mum’s shares. I couldn’t stay working for him after that.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because I knew what it would look like.”
“And what does it look like?”
He rubbed the back of his neck. “Like I was in cahoots with my uncle.”
“And were you?”
“No!” His voice was desperate, pleading. “You have to believe me. I was looking for a job, and I saw yours on a website. I recognized the town name because I’d seen it when I was working for Gilbert and Marks. I knew my uncle had properties here, but I swear I didn’t know yours was one of them until I got here.”
“And when you did realize?” She felt sickeningly alert, like she’d just woken up in a strange place.
“I should have told you. I know that. But the longer I left it, the worse I knew it would look. I don’t expect you to believe me, but I have been trying to help.”
“Help me or help yourself? Get me into bed and out of my home? Was there a nice promotion in it for you? Were you all laughing behind my back? The desperate widow gagging for a shag, totally oblivious?”
Her voice was rising, but it quavered unsteadily, catching in her throat. Her hands were shaking, and she clenched her fists to make them be still. She was a tornado of hurt and humiliation. She knew it. She just knew it.This is what happens when you give your heart away.
“No! God, Mags, no, it was never like that. I told you—I didn’t work for him when I came here. I’ll admit I was curious when I first arrived, I remembered my uncle had plans for the building...”
“This is my life, my livelihood, myhome. I grew up here, my mother died here, I raised my kids here!”
“Please just take a breath, let me explain.”
She shook her head as though trying to stop his words from touching her. “Don’t!” She put her hand up to stop him. “Just don’t. You used me. I let you into my life—intomy bed—and you used me. God! I feel disgusting. How could I have been so stupid?”
Joe reached out for her, touched her arm lightly as he looked searchingly into her eyes for a gap through her defenses. She shrugged him off, clutching at the place he’d touched as though he’d slapped her.
“You have to believe me; it wasn’t how Patrick made it sound...” he pleaded with her.
“Just go.”
The hurt in his face was too raw, she couldn’t look at him, she didn’t have enough left in her to feel sorry for him after what he’d done.
“Please give me a chance to explain.”
“No. You don’t get chances. Thank god I didn’t let you talk me into making things official between us. Imagine if I’d told Verity!”
He shook his head sadly as he stepped away from her. “How did I not see it before? This is perfect for you, isn’t it?” he said.
“What?”
“I’ve just handed you your Get Out of Jail Free card. Now you don’t need to make room for me in your life. You never had any intention of telling Patrick or anyone else that we were serious, did you? There was never going to be an ‘us’ or ‘ours’ in this scenario. I was always going to be your dirty little secret because you are too afraid to let yourself be happy.”
“You are in absolutely no position to accuse me of anything.” The truth of his words sickened her further.
“Exactly!” He laughed bitterly. “I’ve relieved you of allresponsibility. Stupid me, I walked right into it. Now you can throw me out of your life and still maintain the moral high ground.
