Page 38 of Meet Me Under the Mistletoe
Camille laughed. “Been there, done that!”
“What’s Guy like as a father?” asked Jenna.
Camille bit her lip, wondering how much to say.
“I wouldn’t say he’s hands-on,” she said diplomatically. “He loves them, but he finds them... challenging.”
“They’re children, they’re meant to be challenging. If you ask me, Guy needs to grow a pair,” said Ameerah.
Camille smiled.
“I think Charles will be a good father,” Jenna mused, and the others made agreeing noises. Nory thought Charles would make a wonderful father; he was deeply kind-hearted underneath all his bluster—but even if they’d all thought he’d be a terriblefather, they were hardly likely to voice it in front of his bride-to-be.
“Maybe I won’t go the nanny route if I decide to have children,” said Ameerah thoughtfully. “Maybe I’ll surprise you all and go full-on smothering parenting. I’ll become the chairwoman of the PTA, a school governor, a carpool legend, and the queen of the school bake sale.”
“Oh my god,” Nory laughed. “Your kids are going to hate you.”
“Oh yeah.” She smiled wickedly. “I will be all up in their grill. I will make attached parenting look slack.”
“I wish Guy had some of your enthusiasm. He’d like the children to go to boarding school like he did.”
“Charles and I have already agreed that there’ll be no boarding school for our children. Depending on my work situation we’ll probably have a nanny, but she won’t live in.”
“I will take my child into court with me and breastfeed while the prosecution makes its case,” Ameerah announced.
“You’re going to be popular with the white male septuagenarian judges,” said Nory.
“Something happens when you have children,” Camille said quietly, more to herself than the others. But there was something in her voice, something bordering on vacant or removed, that made the other women attentive. “I can’t exactly explain it. I’ve continued to work at my business, and it’s doing really well, thank god, but the bigger clients—magazines and stuff—suddenly seem to have less interest in me since I became a mother. They take me less seriously. As though I can’t really be invested in my business or be investible if I have children.”
“It doesn’t surprise me,” Ameerah began. “I talk the talk, but in truth, I dread what it will mean for my career. I’ve knownwomen who have been completely unable to get back in once they’re out.”
“It isn’t just work, though,” Camille continued in that small voice. “I don’t think people see me as whole anymore.” She gave a little awkward half laugh. “My husband certainly doesn’t. Maybe I’m not. Sometimes I catch him looking at me as if he’s wondering what went wrong.”
Nory felt the energy in the room change, and she knew Jenna and Ameerah were as concerned as she was. Camille’s face was strained. For once, Nory was glad that straight-talking Pippa wasn’t there. Nory rubbed Camille’s arm tentatively, but it was Jenna who asked what they were all thinking. She knelt down in front of Camille and took her hands, forcing Camille to look at her.
“Are you okay, Camille? Like are you, really, okay?”
“I don’t know,” Camille replied. “I’m so tired. I’m not even sure I know enough about who I am anymore to know if I’m okay.”
“Have you tried talking to Guy about how you feel?” Nory asked.
Camille gave another dry laugh. “Have you ever tried talking to Guy about feelings?” she asked.
“Fair point,” Nory agreed. “But we’re not married to him.”Thank god!she thought. “You’re supposed to be a partnership. You should be able to talk to him, and he needs to listen to what you have to say. Because despite what you feel about yourself, what you have to say is valid.”
“And we all love Guy,” said Jenna. “But equally, we’re not blind to his faults.”
“He needs to be more supportive,” said Ameerah. “He needs to step up and stop being such a selfish man-baby.”
Camille had tears in her eyes, but at this she actually giggled. “That’s exactly what he is.” She laughed, wiping her eyes on the back of her hand. “I’m sorry I blurted all that out at you,” she added, embarrassed. “I didn’t mean to, it just kind of came out.”
“That’s what happens when you bottle things up,” said Nory. “Eventually the pressure gets too much, and you spring a leak, like a submarine that’s gone too deep.”
“Always one for a peculiar analogy, our Nory.” Ameerah smiled.
“If you need to talk, then we’re here for you,” said Jenna sincerely, and the others agreed.
“Thank you.” Camille sniffed, pushed her short, curly hair behind her ears, and stood. “Well, I’m going to go and lose myself in that book for a while.”
