Page 68 of The Winter of Second Chances
‘Oh, I’m afraid I’ve been disappointed by humanity too many times to rely on blind faith anymore.’
‘What a pity,’ said John, grabbing his coat. ‘I’ll be back to paint the ceiling when the plaster has dried out. Thank you for the tea.’
And he left. The tide of their conversation had turned so quickly that they were neck-deep in another misunderstanding before Annie had the chance to think better of it.
Having a grand opening turned out to be the best start the cafe could have had. Annie opened the kiosk at eight each morning as usual and then opened the cafe door at nine. Her eight o’clockers were not the type to sit and linger; they wanted to grab coffee and go. But many of her later customers wanted to ease into the morning, sitting at the long bench in the window and gazing out to sea, either alone or with friends. Annie had started an Instagram page and already it was being tagged in carefully crafted customer photographs of cups of coffee with the ocean in shot: #coffeebythesea, #saltwatercafe, #beachlife. She wondered if John was on Instagram. She wondered if he had seen all the positive comments and beautiful pictures of the cafe and the stunning vista. She wondered why she cared.
It was gone three o’clock by the time Annie had closed down the cafe. Tiggs raised her head briefly as she entered the sitting room, yawned and then tucked it back under her paws. The air was stuffy, the autumn sun was high in the sky and the little room seemed to soak in all its rays. Annie threw open the windows and went to make some tea.
She returned ten minutes later to find Tiggs sat on the windowsill, her ears pricked up and the room filled with the sound of Peter Gabriel singing ‘In Your Eyes’. It was coming from outside. Annie crossed to the window and looked down. Max. He was wearing trainers, baggy cargo trousers and a long tan trench coat with the sleeves rolled up. Above his head he held an old boombox – circa 1984 – out of which Peter Gabriel’s gravelly voice drifted up to her, while Max – uncharacteristically – said nothing but gazed at her, hopeful and pleading as he recreated the iconic John Cusack window scene fromSay Anything. Max’s arms shook slightly from the effort of holding the boombox aloft. Two of Annie’s regular customers hurried by and pretended not to notice the grand gesture being performed on the promenade.Well, that’ll be all over the village in no time, she thought to herself. Annie sighed; how could anyone fail to be moved by such a demonstration? But she knew that to give even an inch would be dangerous. The song finished and Max pressed stop on the tape cassette. He didn’t speak, he just placed the boombox on the floor and continued to stare up at her like a lovesick Romeo. Annie leaned out of the window.
‘You look like a crazy person!’
‘Crazy in love with you!’ Max grinned.
‘Oh, for fuck’s sake,’ she muttered under her breath.
‘Come round the back,’ she called. Max nodded but didn’t speak. He picked up his boombox, nodded cordially to two women out walking their dogs and moved out of her line of sight.
Annie opened the front door and sat down on the step; she motioned for Max to sit too.
‘Aren’t you going to invite me in?’ asked Max.
‘No, I don’t think so.’
Max sat next to her.
‘Are you afraid you won’t be able to resist me if I come upstairs?’
He had that glint in his eye that used to make her melt. She knew that if she were to let him upstairs now, she would be in for a good time. She gave herself a mental slap.
‘No. I just...’ Annie paused.I don’t want any part of my new life sullied, is what she thought to herself. The flat was un-Maxed and she wanted it to remain that way. ‘I just don’t think exes need to come round for cups of tea. Part of being exes is that you chose to be separated.’
‘I didn’t choose to be separated, you did.’
‘Youmade that decision when youchoseto start fucking a woman more than twenty years younger than me!’
‘How many times do I have to say I’m sorry for you to believe me?’ he asked.
‘It’s not aboutsaying sorry, Max, you didn’t spill coffee on the rug. What you did was bigger than something that requires a quick sorry.’
Max held his hands up.
‘I know, you’re right, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for all of it. But can’t you see how much I want you back?’
‘You get an “A” for effort. You are excellent at wooing. It’s the after-woo that lets you down.’
‘I’ll keep it up then, I’ll never stop the wooing. I’ll be Prince Charming forever.’
‘No. I’m not saying I need a lifetime of romance; truth be told, I’m all wooed out. But...’ She struggled to find the right words. ‘This is the part where you shine, Max. No one does romantic gestures like you do. But your attention span is short. As soon as you’ve won the prize you start looking for the next challenge. Let’s say for argument’s sake that you win me over; how long will it be before my allure wears off and you’re looking for another shiny young thing to covet?’
‘Never again. I know I’ve said this in the past but that was before you’d left me. This has been my wake-up call. For the first time in my life I truly know what I want and it’s you, Annie. It’s always been you. You’re all I want.’
Annie sighed.
‘It’s a strange word, isn’t it?’ she said. ‘Want. What youwanthas always been the problem because it wears off.Wantis craving a biscuit; you want a biscuit but then you eat the biscuit, and it wasjusta biscuit. It’s a feeling that passes and this desperation you think you feel for me, this is going to pass.’
‘Want was a poor choice of word,’ said Max, his expression pained. ‘Ineedyou Annie. I love you, I love you like I’m crazy with it.’
