Page 23 of The Twelve Dates of Christmas
Dammit!This was just the sort of gender equality she was always harping on about, and as soon as she actually found some, she questioned its validity. She felt instantly ashamed. Her feminist self pinched her judgmental self hard.
“It sounds like you have a very healthy relationship with your ex,” said Kate.
“That’s mostly down to her,” Anthony replied.
Self-deprecating, pro-women, and a sexy six-foot fireman,thought Kate. She was crushing so hard on this guy she was having palpitations.
“I’ll bet you’re a hit at the school gates,” said Kate.
Anthony laughed.
“I’m not going to lie,” he said. “I’ve had offers.”
I’ll bet you have.
“So why sign up for this?” asked Kate.
“Because I don’t have the time or the energy to go out in the hopes of meeting someone,” he said. “And between work and school runs I’m unlikely to meet anyone by chance. How about you?” he asked. “You’re smart and sexy, even in reindeer socks, and you’ve got a great career. What’s holding you back?”
“Oh, I’m justreallylazy,” said Kate. And Anthony laughed, a deep gravelly laugh that made Kate want to rip all her clothes off.
•••••
When the rep’s voice boomed over the loudspeaker that it was half-time hot chocolate break, Anthony tucked Kate under his arm with ease and skated—with Kate’s heavy-booted feet dangling uselessly—to the gate. He set her gently down on the rush carpeting and waited for her land legs to return before releasing her. Kate could not deny that she was giddy, and not just because of the skating.
They sat at a sticky plastic table; Kate spooned the whipped cream off the top of her drink into her mouth and listened to Anthony talk about his children.
“Here,” he said. “Do you want to see some photos?”
Kate nodded and Anthony took out his phone. The screen lit up and two adorable children grinned out at her. They had dark hair like their dad. An unexpected pang traveled up through her stomach and settled in her chest; she wondered what color hair her children would have.
“You have beautiful children,” said Kate.
“Thanks,” said Anthony. He seemed pleased as he put his phone back into his pocket. “It’s hard to date when you’ve got kids,” he said. “I want to meet someone special, but in the back of my mind I’m alwaysthinking, do they like kids? Will they like my kids? Will my kids like them?”
“It’s a lot to consider,” agreed Kate. “But when you get to our age, you sort of expect that some people will have kids already. I mean, it doesn’t worry me, you know, dating someone who’s got kids.”
Anthony sighed as he stirred his chocolate.
“But it adds certain expectations,” he said.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, people assume that because I’ve got kids and I’m still relatively young that I’ll want more,” said Anthony.
Kate tried to keep her voice level. She wanted children. Whether with a partner or by herself, she knew children were in her future.
“But you don’t want more kids?” she asked carefully.
“No,” replied Anthony. “I’ve got my kids. They’re perfect. I adore them. But I don’t want to have any more. I’ve done all that, you know? The sleepless nights, the teething... And I’d worry that if I had children with someone else, they’d feel they were being replaced.”
“Well, surely that’s down to how you handle the situation,” said Kate. “I mean, you might meet someone who makes you change your mind. Never say never... right?”
Anthony drained his mug and rubbed his hands together.
“Nope,” he said. “Not me. I know myself. When I make a decision, that’s it.” He gestured to the rink. “Shall we?” he asked.
Kate nodded, smiling, and attempted to keep her deflation hidden. Anthony held out his arm and she ducked under and squeezed herself back in her nook beside him. As he lifted her onto the ice, she made a conscious decision not to let melancholy rule. Instead she vowed to enjoy the rest of her perfect first and last date with the handsome fireman and chalk it up to experience.
