Page 58 of A Steeping of Blood
Instinct disappeared and disgust took its place. The sound of her name out of her mother’s mouth was what had made Flick want to change it—even before she’d been locked in her own house like a prisoner. The beseeching was a farce. There was another reason her mother was as close to begging as she’d allow herself, and it had nothing to do with Flick’s run from home.
“Why?” Flick asked, and it felt like a transgression somehow.
Lady Linden—the Ram, her mother—blinked, because Flick rarely questioned her.
“I’m your mother, Felicity,” she said, taken aback. “Your real family. Do you not miss me?”
Flick considered the question. She missed what she thought shehad, and if she’d never had it to begin with, was there anything to miss?
Everything motherly about her mother had been whittled away to reveal the mask beneath—an ironic thought. Flick had always believed her mother had slowly lost interest in her, as one did when a shiny toy became dull with age, but was it Flick who had changed?
Her mother made a sound in the back of her throat. “What have I done wrong to deserve this? Your behavior is utterly atrocious.”
“Utterly atrocious?” Flick almost burst out laughing, but her mother was oblivious.
“I fed you, clothed you in the best White Roaring has to offer, hired the best tutors, but time and time again, this is how you treat me, Felicity.”
That bit was true. Flick did get the best. She was fed and clothed and sheltered in one of White Roaring’s best neighborhoods. Arthie had never had such a thing. Jin had it taken from him.
She ought to be grateful. Flick looked into her mother’s eyes and saw a shift from imploring to satisfaction, as if she was guiding Flick in a direction of her choosing.
Did she not recall using this tactic before? She’d made this very same attempt to guilt and persuade Flick into believing that no one but her mother truly cared for her. And if Flick did that, well, she’d be trusting her mother. She’d be willing to tell her everything.
“What do you mean?” Flick asked in the most coy manner she could summon. “How have I treated you?”
Her mother blustered at the question. “Ungratefully! You behave like a rebellious child. It is unbecoming.”
What was really unbecoming was the snort Flick just held back.
Her mother was meandering woefully off script, and it had only taken Flick talking back. It was almostfun.
“What could you possibly have out there that you don’t have here with me?” her mother asked, and she sounded on the verge of tears. If Flick hadn’t been bound, her first instinct would have been to go over to her and offer comfort. A hug, or a pat on the back. Something.
No, no, no.
“Mother, I—”
“You what, Felicity?” Lady Linden pressed.
Why are you doing this?Flick wanted to ask. But what reason could ever be enough to justify her atrocities? Greed had no fill. Greed was a bottomless pit, and Flick wouldn’t contribute.
“You act as though you missed me, as though youloveme, but over the past few years, you’ve barely treated me as a daughter,” Flick said.
“Grudges are never good, Felicity. Don’t bring up the past.”
The woman was insufferable.
“Is the passage of time forgiveness?” Flick replied. “You want your ledger. That’s why I’m here.”
“Among other things. I want you back too,” Lady Linden replied gently. That was a bald-faced lie. An afterthought, at best. “That Casimir girl is dead, as far as I know, isn’t she? As is that boy you fancied. In all honesty, Felicity, it’s presumably a good—”
“He’s not—”
Flick stopped the moment the words blurted out of her, but it was too late. Never before had she wished oh so dearly to reel back time. Meresecondswould have been enough.
Understanding crossed her mother’s face, and Flick realized with bitter dread that she was right. This entire conversationwasa farce. She had been luring Flick with words, trying to get her to speak and reveal where the others were and what they were up to. This wasn’t amother asking her daughter where she’d gone wrong; this was a woman questioning someone she saw as inferior.
Someone with whom she shared no ties of kinship.
