Page 49 of Christmas at the Ranch
“Yes, you are,” I say. “Carrie called heryourMariella. And said she was moving here.”
Tate shakes his head in slight exasperation, then chuckles. “Carrie’s always saying things like that. It’s just the way she talks. And Mariella’s moving here for work, not for me. I’ve only known her a few weeks.”
“But she’s gorgeous—”
“She’s going to be my employee.”
“And you get along so well.”
“Which is a good thing. And part of why I’m hiring her.” Now he’s smiling, as if he can’t help it.
“You were jealous,” he says, raising an eyebrow.
“Please, don’t make this harder than it already is.”
He becomes more serious. “No, you’re right. I shouldn’t tease you. I don’t know how I’d feel, seeing you with someone else.” At those words, emotions I haven’t allowed myself since I was eighteen swirl through me.
“But you’re right,” Tate says. “This is all a bit intense, isn’t it? I have an idea.”
“Oh, yeah?”
“Trail rides solve everything,” he says with a smile. “It’s getting dark now. We could take Star out with one of the Starlight Ride lanterns, see how she does? Talk while we’re out there, you and me?”
“That sounds perfect,” I say, my heart doing thatboom-boom-boom-clapthing again.
“With her bridle this time,” he says. “I’ll walk beside you, but you take the reins.”
He holds my gaze when he says this, and this time, I don’t look away.
Twenty-Three
“The stuff you’ve been using for riding is all here,” Tate tells me, opening a locker in the tack room. I see the helmet and boots I used, tucked away, waiting for me—and it warms my heart, makes me smile at him. He smiles back and we linger for a moment, just staring at each other. Then we hear Star whinnying. She saw us pass her stall and is growing impatient, as if she knows what’s next.
We bring Star out of her stall. She keeps her ears pricked forward, and headbutts both of us frequently and gently—as if she’s happy to see us together. As we get her tacked up, I feel us fall back into that easy rhythm we used to have around the horses, Tate and I.
When our hands touch as we pull Star’s bridle over her ears, I’m caught, yet again, in the snare of his gaze—but for the first time since I got here, it doesn’t feel like a risk. It feels safe. It feels like something I need to explore.
Tate.I can smell him all around me: woodsmoke, pine, saddle soap, leather,him.
The bridle is on and now we’re just standing here, the softness of Star’s neck between us. I place my hand on top of Star’s mane, stroke the silken strands to smooth them down. And then, Tate puts his hand there, too. Our hands are almost touching.
“I’m so glad I came here,” I find myself saying. “I didn’t know what else to do. Maybe it sounds strange, to have run from my parents during such a hard time for them—but I needed distance, to try to find a way to get through this. And somehow, this felt like the only place for me to go.”
“I get it,” he says, his tone full of understanding. “You really were so happy here. I remember it.”
“I remember it, too.”
“It must have been so hard, finding out about your parents,” he says.
As we stand there, gently stroking Star’s coat with brushes, then putting on her tack, I tell him how it felt that morning at the gym to see my dad on TV. How I was surprised butnotsurprised.
“I know you said I shouldn’t carry the responsibility, but it’s hard not to, still. I can’t shake the feeling that if I hadn’t pulled away, maybe my parents’ path would be different. I don’t know what’s going to become of either of them, you know? I’m worried about them—but I’m also so worried about other people, too.” I swallow, look away from him. “Like Gill,” I say. Then, I explain that I gave my trust fund to my mother. “If I still had it, I’d use it to pay him back. Only, that feels like just the tip of the iceberg.”
Our hands are still resting side by side atop Star’smane, almost touching, whispering against each other, secrets only we know.
“You can’t fix everything,” Tate says softly. And I know what he means.
“I wish I hadn’t tried,” I say. “Before. With you. I shouldn’t have done that, brought my dad into it the way I did.”
