Page 3 of The Holiday Honeymoon Switch
“I’m glad you didn’t, too. If you had left and never seen D’Arcy again, I never would have had the chance to meet you.”
Ivy sighs. “I do feel bad, okay? I’m not totally heartless. He’s a sweet guy. I want to feel a spark, I really do. I’ve just never…been swept away by anyone, you know? I mean, aside from my high school boyfriend, who I was madly in love with. But that was seventy-five percent hormones and twenty-five percent proximity, and everyone has to have their heart smashed to smithereens at least once, so I’m just glad I got it out of the way early.”
Holly is nodding. “I get it. Swept away. Like in that Brad Pitt movie, the one where he’s the grim reaper.”
“Yes!Meet Joe Black! The scene where Anthony Hopkins tells Claire Forlani she and her boyfriend have as much passion for each other as…”
“A pair of titmice!”
“Yes! And then he says he wants her to getswept away.”
“Levitate.”
Ivy raises her hands in the air. “Sing with rapture and dance like a dervish.Anyway, I’m happy you have that with Matt.”
Just then, Matt jumps up on a chair and starts gyrating his hips, Elvis-style, along to Britney Spears’s voice. Holly gazes at him, an inscrutable expression on her face.
“Do you think it’s fair to titmice to say they lack passion?” she finally says, looking away from Matt. “Maybe titmice are quite passionate.”
“Entirely possible. I mean, they have the word ‘tit’ in their name.”
Holly laughs, but then grows serious again. “I’m not sure Matt has ever made me levitate or dance like a dervish—and I’m pretty sure the only thing that makeshimfeel that way are keg parties. But we’re still good together. I don’t think movies always provide the most accurate depiction of true love.”
“You mean I should not be taking dating advice from a movie where Brad Pitt plays the grim reaper?”
Holly smiles. “Definitely not. But maybe 2017 will be the year you find rapturous, passionate love. Who knows?”
“Or titmouse love. Either one. Meanwhile, I’m ready to say goodbye to 2016 and see what’s next.”
For the next hour, they sit on the couch, drinking Ivy’s wine and making a list of all the things they’re looking forward to saying goodbye to once 2016 draws to a close.
“Bottle-flipping,” Ivy says.
“Dabbing,” Holly adds.
“The rainbow-food trend. I do not want a rainbow burger!”
Ivy groans. “Or a rainbow bagel!”
“No more rainbow food, full stop!”
“Avocado on everything. Please, no more avocado oneverything.”
“The ‘is it a puppy or is it a bagel’ meme trend.”
Ivy nearly spits out her wine laughing. “And the ‘is it a baby or is it a bread roll’ one!”
They keep volleying back and forth, giggling—or sometimes getting serious, and still agreeing on everything—until the wine is almost gone and their cheeks and sides hurt from laughing.
“Okay, but there must have been something good about 2016, right?” Ivy pours the last of the wine into Holly’s cup and folds her legs underneath herself.
Holly thinks for a moment. “Beyonce’sLemonade?”
“Yes.And I think I read somewhere there are more tigers now.”
“And more solar power.”
“Jackie Chan won an Oscar.”
