Page 50 of By the Horns

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“Why are you fussing over me?”

Gwenna is being unusually grouchy, and there’s a distracted look on her face, as if she’s having trouble concentrating. Her pupils seem a little wider than normal, her gaze a bit glassy. Is something else bothering her? As the most experienced on the team, without Master Jay around, it’s my duty to look after her. At least, that’s what I tell myself, since I’m going to fuss. I pick her up, settling her backside on the counter next to the cutting board. “You sit right here and wait for me to get the salve. If I come back and you’ve moved, I will hunt you down and pin you to the ground until you let me doctor your hand.”

Her jaw drops and she makes a sound of protest…but she doesn’t get off the counter.

Good. “I’ll be right back.”

I head across the kitchen, pulling open the cabinet that every nest is stocked with—herbs and potions for headaches and muscle aches, bandages for wrapping twisted ankles, and a tea that helps the too-tightly-wound sleep at night. I pull out a small jar of ointment and a roll of bandages and move back to Gwenna’s side.

This time, she doesn’t protest, just extends her hand toward me.

I tend to her brutalized palm, saying nothing as I wash her hand with water and then dab the herb-laced ointment on her skin. “Did something happen when we were down in the caverns? Something that caused this?”

She doesn’t answer.

“If there’s something dangerous down there, it affects more than me and you, Gwenna. Tell me.”

“I did it to myself,” she says after a moment. “No need to fuss.”

She tries to pull her hand away again, but I refuse to release her. “I’m not done. Hold still.” I finish with the ointment and then carefully wrap the bandages around her hand. “If you did this to yourself, why?”

Again, she hesitates. “Focus. I needed to focus.”

I’ve heard of people injuring themselves to block out mental anguish. Is that what this is? “What did you need to focus on?”

She’s silent again.

“You’re quiet.”

“You’re not listening to me when I say anything, so why should I try?”

I hesitate. Is it possible that I’m wrong? Is it possible that she’s not Sarya and I’m racing off with the idea like a fool? I pretend to fuss over the bandages and close my eyes to focus. “Say my name.”

“I’m not doing anything for you when you’re behaving like an arse.” Her tone is indignant, but there’s no question in my mind that it’s Sarya after all. With my eyes closed, there’s no mistaking it. How did I never see this before? Have I been so blinded by the thought of a tall blonde that I never saw the woman right in front of me?

Mucking hells, I don’t even like blondes.

Gwenna being Sarya brings new complications, though. In addition to the pile of lies, it poses a problem that we’re both fledglings on the same team. We’re both supposed to be concentrating on getting ready for the future tests (and I’m supposed to be finding a thief). I know I can pass the guild tests again, but it’d be unfair of me to distract Gwenna from her studies.

Even so, I need answers. “Why’d you fuck me? That day when I was in the hospital?”

“No idea what you’re talking about,” Gwenna says, voice crisp.

I want to pluck her off the counter and shake her until the truth comes out. “Give up on the bullshit and tell me the truth already. We both know that you’re lying.”

“I don’t know why you think I’m lying.”

I grit my teeth. I grab her chin and force her to look me in the eye, and then I recall something else she said earlier.Figured you wouldn’t be into fucking right now.

“Do you still want to fuck?” I demand.

Gwenna goes still. Her eyes go wide as she gazes up at me, but her pupils betray her. They dilate, growing larger, and I can feel her breath speed up.

Well now. That’s interesting. “You want me to touch you?”

“I didn’t say that!”

I stroke my thumb along her soft jaw. “So I shouldn’t touch you?”