Page 97 of A Queen Of Broken Realms
Ediye lifts the stones into the curtain of light that shimmers from the archway to the ground. When she pulls her hands away, the stones remain suspended in the light. They start to glow from within and then crack, blinding light forcing through their shattering shells. The stones split open with a loud snap and disappear, the curtain of light dissolving into the wind. There’s a tremor beneath our feet and the gate crumbles as though it has suddenly weathered the centuries in a moment of time. The archway falls, one jagged side remaining, jutting toward the sky like a fang.
The tremor quiets. The wind fades away. We stand in silence for a long moment, watching the dust that settles over the broken stone. I look at the village beyond for the last time, trying to imagine it as it once was. But it’s not really the buildings I try to see. It’s not really my little cottage that once stood on the left of the circle. It’s the women who lived here with me, for a time. Mostly, it’s the one who stands near us unmoving, her unseeing gaze fixed to the sea.
“She’ll never die, will she?” Ediye says as she follows my gaze where it’s fused to the shell of my sister.
“No,” I whisper. “She won’t.”
Before Ediye asks what we should do, I pull away from Ashen’s embrace. I take Aglaope’s cold hand. I swallow the burn, forcing the stinging tears away as I meet Ashen and Ediye’s worried gazes. “Wait here. I know a place. I’ll be back.”
They both give a solemn nod as I turn away, pulling my sister’s hand with me. I let my tears fall when I know they can’t see.
And they don’t stop.
They don’t slow as I guide my sister to a cave that faces the western horizon. The tears keep flowing as I sit Aglaope down on a stone to look over the sea. The tears are matched with cries and sobs as I pull every starblade from her back with my bare hands. I welcome the pain as my palms slice open. I weep as I work, talking to my sister who never acknowledges the scenes I describe, all of them memories of us on this island, each one a story of love.
When I’m finished, I kneel before my sister. I take her hands. I kiss her cheeks.And then I leave her in the cavern, alone in her vigil over the ocean.
The tears still fall.
I’m afraid they’ll never end.
CHAPTER37
Loss never goes away. It changes shape. I might not think about it all day, every day, but it’s still there. Sometimes it’s more present than others. Some days, I can’t get it out of my head. Other days, I don’t think so much about the loss itself, but the wonderful memories I have of my sister. I remember the feeling of her arms around me in Pamukkale. The scent of her hair seems to linger in my thoughts. I think of the way her hum turned into a song in the cliffside house as Ediye and I cleared out the debris. I remember the way Eryx stopped his work on one of the tapestries to watch and listen with tears in his eyes. I stand in front of that restored image now, but I don’t really see it. I only see Eryx as he clapped when she finished singing, and the way my sister laughed and twirled and bowed to his ovation.
I often find these memories hurt just as much as her absence.
It’s been a few weeks since I sent my sister back here to the Shadow Realm. When we found her soul walking listlessly in the garden maze that grows in the fog behind House Urbigu, I gave her an everlasting death with the poison on mykatana. Her body still lingers on Anthemoessa, staring out to sea. Her soul will not suffer this realm again. That moment of forcing to let her go and knowing for certain she will never come back seemed the hardest of them all.
Most days get a little easier with the passage of time. Just not today.
Five thousand, one hundred and four years ago, I washed up a different person on a foreign shore, with no memory of anything but my name.
Do not fear, my love. I will look after you.
I sit at the edge of the cliff I leapt from only a few weeks ago. My feet dangle off the edge. When I close my eyes, I can almost feel Aglaope’s hand pressing the grains of sand to my shoulder after I washed up on the shore. I can see her smile as vividly as though we were just on the shores of Anthemoessa moments ago.
“She never forgot,” I whisper as I twist the ring she gave me on my finger. I don’t open my eyes as Ashen kneels beside me and drapes his arm across my shoulder, pulling me into the warmth of his side. “She never told me she’d remembered all along.”
“Why do you think that is?” Ashen asks, resting his chin on the top of my head as his thumb coasts across my skin.
“Maybe she thought the pain of not knowing what had happened was less agonizing than the realization we had been sacrificed by our own family.”
“Hmm,” Ashen says, neither agreeing nor disagreeing. “Maybe she knew she could love you better than those who left you behind.”
We fall into silence. I open my eyes and watch the waves below as they shift beneath the caress of the curling fog. Urtur lets out a contended sigh at my other side as my hand drifts through his fur. “How have you done it all this time, Ashen? How do you cope with it?”
The Reaper smiles a breath of a melancholy laugh into my hair and presses a kiss to my temple. “It took me quite a long time to figure that out, vampire. I don’t think I really understood until a beautiful, brazen vampire whispered a spell to save me and then hit me in the head behind a cheese store in a weird little village.”
“She sounds smart.”
“And reckless.”
“Everybody knows that’s the best combination for a vampire.”
Ashen smiles again and grips my shoulder tighter. “Come, vampire,” he says with another kiss. “I do have something that helps, and I’ll show you what it is.”
“This sounds suspiciously like a surprise,” I reply, trying to muster the enthusiasm for one of Ashen’s schemes even though I’m not really feeling up for it.
