Page 6 of A Queen Of Broken Realms
I let out a frustrated growl. I even stomp my bare foot on the road. And then I march over to the closest soul and grip the iron clamped around her neck, working at the bolt that keeps her tethered to the carriage.
“Can’t you reap a fucking horse?” I toss over my shoulder as I release the clasp and approach the next soul. It’s a warlock. His thoughts are slow but loud and I try to push them away, careful not to touch his skin in case it makes him harder to ignore.
“Why would I want to reap a horse?”
“To pull your carriages, why do you think, dumbass?”
“Is it like a werehorse?”
“Awerehorse?”
“A werehorse. An immortal being who changes from a human into a horse.”
I pause and turn toward Ashen. “What…the fuck…does that exist? Have I been missing out on werehorses all my life?”
“…No.”
I look out across the Black Sea as though I might find help there. Of course, there is none. I drag my hands down my face and take a deep breath, which accomplishes nothing. “Why?”
“Why do werehorses not exist?”
I drop my head into my hands and let out some kind of strangled sound of frustration and anguish. My throat is burning and twisting beneath my skin. I turn toward Ashen, my fingers still pressing into my cheekbones. “Jesus H. Christ in a chicken basket, Ashen.No. Though maybe yes, for convenience. But alsoNO.” I sigh as my hands fall to my sides. “Why are you messing with me?”
Ashen shrugs, his gaze darting away before finding mine again with a glint of amusement buried deep beneath the sparks. “Well, you have defiled my butter multiple times. There had to be retribution at some point.”
“You…you’re doing this to me because of…butter? Butter, Ashen?”
He laughs. The fucking audacity. Helaughs. That stupid, wonderful, spellbinding sound. I cross my arms over my essentially naked chest and glare fury at him, which only makes him laugh again. I want to hate that sound, as much as I want to hate those sex sheets of his, but I can’t. That timbre, the rarity, the precious warmth…it fills my chest with just enough heat to burn away at least some of the panic that creeps beneath my ribs, eating my bones.
“No, vampire,” Ashen says as he takes my elbows, cradling them in his steady, warm palms. “Of course not.”
My brows stitch together. Desperation is like a tight lace that pulls my skin taut. “Why? Ashen…I am not made for this. All of this. I’m not aqueen. I’m not. Not in any time, or any place.Especiallyhere.”
Ashen ducks his head to keep hold of my eyes when I try to look away. His grip on my elbows grows firmer when I feel like I’m vibrating. Everything about him is like an anchor. And he just waits, as steady as that iron hook lodged in the silt at the end of a heavy chain. He watches until I go still for a moment in the storm. “You areexactlythe queen that the Shadow Realm needs. You are the only one who can heal this place.”
“I’m not.”
Ashen’s hands frame my face as tears well in my eyes. “Youare, Lu. You are the balance between shadow and light. You change the people you’re with. You bind them together. And when they can’t get behind you, you do what needs to be done. You are not afraid to make a friend. And you are not afraid to kill an enemy.”
“But I’m not ready for this,” I whisper.
“No one is ready for destiny.”
“What if this isn’t my destiny at all?”
“What if it is?” Ashen watches me as I look out to the sea, searching the black water for answers. He tugs on my sleeves and reels me in like a rare creature captured from its darkest depths. His arms fold across my back and he waits until I lose a little of the tension coiling through my back before he speaks again. “Lu, you are the one person who looks at these souls and sees them. Reallyseesthem. Cares for them. Wants to change this place for them. You believe the Shadow Realm could be different. Just like you believed I could be different, or Urtur or Zida.”
I blow a thin stream of air through my tense lips. “This is madness, Ashen.”
“You are right. It is madness. Look at you, here in the middle of the bridge, wearing nothing but a robe and…jizz…stopping a carriage so that you can let these souls go. It’s the best madness imaginable. And I was wrong just now. You are right to choose this battle. The only one I truly think you should give up is the one against yourself.”
“I don’t know how.”
“Then maybe that is the first thing you need to learn as Queen. How to lay down arms against yourself.”
I sigh against Ashen’s armored chest. “That sounds all wise and logical and shit. I don’t like it. Can’t I just continue to freak out for a while?”
Ashen puffs a breath of a laugh, stirring the blood-encrusted hair on my shoulder. “You are the Queen. Do what you need to do. If you need to freak out until it gets old, then freak out.”
