Page 68 of A Heart Of Bitter Poison
Ihad hoped the world would leave us be, at least for a little while. But when we step back outside the bedroom, it brings concrete questions to answer and problems to solve. Small things, like what to pack for the unseasonably cold weather in Romania when we’re limited by what the Datura Coven has to offer. Medium things, like what kind of vehicle we can rent that will comfortably fit an oversized demon jackal. Big things, like that the fuck I’m doing with my lifeOh My God.
I’m not falling for him I’m not falling for him I’m not falling for him.
I have to chant this on average every three minutes and twenty-six seconds. And I’ve worked out that precise number in an effort to distract myself. Because every time Ediye gives me a knowing little grin, or Eryx gives me glitterball eyes, or Ashen finds some way to graze my fingers with his or let his touch linger on my back, I feel like I’m melting. Like all my emotions are pasted all over me. Which they probably are, and I’m betting not even limited to mysuper expressive facebut on my arms and hands and clothes and fuck….I’m not falling for him.
One night changes nothing. He needed it, I needed it, we’re consenting adults that both deserved to have some fun.
And we did. We had lots of fun. In various positions and across many hours. And now I feel so much better, I really do. Even despite what happened when I tried to sing, which stings my eyes with tears when I really think about it. I know I’ll have to come to terms with that, somehow. But whenever I feel like it will overwhelm me, Ashen is right there as though he knows where my thoughts have wandered off to. He checks in with me and distracts me and is just… kind. And the blame I’ve placed on him seems further in the distance of time than it really is, but that’s where it seems to belong.
Don’t get me wrong, this is still highly confusing as I thought I’d made my mind up to fuck him over as thoroughly as possible. And I still can’t say I trust him completely. Facts are facts. He might have a point about us being surrounded in the Shadow Realm, but I’m still not thrilled about how he stood by and watched it all unfold. And he technically cursed me, I’m still pissed about that too. Also, I do think there could be other motivators behind his actions, and maybe it’s easy for us both to forget about them and focus on just one thing in the Living Realm, like the rest of his responsibilities stop existing while he’s here. Just the same as I felt about pushing away the outside world when we were alone in my room.
As much as he’s been sweet and kind and he’s hot as fuck, he’s still a demon on a mission of which I am the center. Which is bad. Super bad.
Not falling. No.
These thoughts and worries and hopes and fears are still swirling within me as Ediye forms the portal that will take us to the outskirts of Câmpulung.
We stand as a group in the courtyard of the villa, some of the coven members lined behind a smiling Bianca, including Gigi, who it turns out is the Scythe who took Alberto’s body from the room when Ashen and I finally left to shower (and fuck one last time, despite Ediye’s explicit orders). Her bright green eyes stand out from her warm, tanned skin, her long chestnut hair flowing in waves down to her mid-back. She pulls away from the pack of witches to place a kiss on each of Davina’s cheeks.
“It was so lovely to meet another Scythe,” the woman says.
“Thank you, Gianna. Likewise. That was long ago for me, however,” Davina replies.
“Please. It’s Gigi. And once a Scythe, always a Scythe,” Gigi says, her smile broad and brilliant in the bright afternoon sun. “Safe travels, Davina.”
Davina waves a brief goodbye to the other coven members, who smile with warmth and a little sadness as they watch her pass through the portal. I realize for the first time that this must have been a place of familiarity and comfort for Davina, to be among her people even if they weren’t her clan, and it pangs in my heart as I watch her disappear from view.
Cassian is the next up, and gives a warm parting embrace to Bianca and those standing close to her. Eryx, Cole and Ediye follow in quick succession. Ashen goes next with Urtur trailing close to his heel, and he turns back before passing through the vortex to give me a worried glance, as though I might not follow. I give him a brief smile and he gives a nod in return, and with one last darting look to Bianca he passes into the darkness of the deepest space.
“Thank you very much for your hospitality,” I say to Bianca as I step forward. “I’m sorry again about the mess I made in your bathroom.”
Bianca smiles, amusement dancing in her eyes. “It’s no trouble,vampira. I do love a little entertainment.”
We kiss one another’s cheeks and I step away, waving to the others that I haven’t gotten to know before closing in on the portal.
“Vampira,” Bianca calls just before I step into the darkness. I stop and turn with a question in my eyes. “Don’t forget.Gasaan tiildibba me zi ab.You already knew.”
The first line of my spell.Queen that gives life to the dying. I blink and for just a moment I’m there, back in Sanford, hovering over Ashen as my blood flows into his wound. The look he’d given me just before that, one of resignation, it’s as fresh in my mind as though I’ve just seen it.
I blink again and I’m back, standing in front of the portal with my head turned to the smiling witch. My skull buzzes with the start of a hornet headache and I rub my temple.
Bianca smiles. The look she’s giving me is a little sympathetic. “Good luck,vampira. You’re going to need it.”
Well, that’s fucking reassuring,I think, despite giving a polite nod in reply. I face forward and step into the portal, disappearing into the image of the cosmos and the mysteries of space and time.
When I arrive with the others in the Romanian countryside, my headache is spiking as though the hornets have multiplied and decided the space in my skull is far too small. And they are pissed about it.
I knock back some of the elixir and lean in the shadow of a tree, surveying the landscape around us. There’s a thin layer of snow on the ground but the sun is bright, reflecting on the powdered surface like glittering jewels. I close my eyes and wait for the pain to subside as I take another sip.
“You okay?” Cole asks as he stops next to me, watching as the others exchange bags and run through last minute details. I look up and smile.
“Yeah. I think so.”
“Not working as well anymore, is it,” he says as he nods at the vial in my hand. I take another sip before turning my gaze across the snow-dusted hills.
“No.”
Cole sighs and leans against the tree. The warmth of his shoulder filters through my sweater and heats my skin. We fall into silence as we watch the others laugh and chat. Eryx’s wings shimmer in the bright light, as shining and beautiful as the soul that owns them. Ediye’s tall, graceful frame absorbs the ebb and flow of conversation as she sways with laughter. Cassian is still the same as I ever knew him, kind eyes that dance with mirth as he tells some animated story that makes even Davina crack a smile. Ashen bends to run a hand through Urtur’s midnight fur as the jackal noses the snow. He looks over his shoulder and shoots me a glance that quickly morphs into concern when the pain on my face registers. I smile and he moves to stand but I shake my head before leaning back to drink the final sips of smoky liquid.
