Page 44 of A Heart Of Bitter Poison
“You’re not leaving, are you,” I say as he pulls a sheepskin rug from next to the empty hearth over to his makeshift bed.
“No.”
I huff and turn to the wardrobe, pulling out a long robe to drape it across my shoulders, and then I stalk toward the door with thekatanain one hand, bottle of wine in the other.
“Where are you going?” Ashen asks. His voice is the perfect combination of dismay, weariness, and irritation. It sounds delectable.
“Drinking. Elsewhere.”
“Vampire-“
“Relax, demon. I’d rather hang out with the dog in the dark and take a chance on reaper rabies for a while,” I say as I reach the door. I hear him stir when I reach the threshold but I don’t turn around. “I need to be alone.”
I wait for any fight to find me, but it doesn’t come. I shift though the door and into the hall, closing it behind me with a quiet snick.
I’m sitting on the couch with Urtur’s heavy head in my lap when Ediye rolls in with the others in tow. Turns out, jackals make pretty decent listeners for drunk and heartbroken, demon-bound vampires. I’ve sat here long enough now that I can’t feel my toes.
“Did we… did we adopt a dog?” Ediye asks as she stops short and takes in the scene. Urtur’s tail swishes against the couch in reply.
“Urtur, this is Ediye. Ediye, this is Urtur, demon jackal extraordinaire. Not sure how he’s managed to rock up here, but hey. He makes a good drinking companion. I’ve told him my sob story and he let me cry into his fur. It’s soft and smells like sulfur,” I say, wrapping my arms around Urtur’s massive black head and squeezing him in a hug.
Thud-thud-thud.
“Riiiiight,” Ediye says as she glances at the others.
Cole grabs a glass from the kitchen island and pivots past Eryx and Ediye. “Pour me some wine and I’ll tell you about the time Urtur pissed on Ashen’s bed.”
“Nooooo,” I gasp. Cole takes the plush armchair across from me and I lean forward to top up our drinks as the others make their way to their rooms. “Not the silky sex sheets.”
A breath of a laugh tumbles from the demon. “Yeah. He got into Ashen’s room somehow, then found himself locked inside. Pissed all over the bed. Ashen was in a pretty shitty mood for a few days.”
“He does love those sheets. Not that I blame him.”
We smile at one another and fall into a moment of silence as I stroke Urtur’s smooth fur. “He’s in my room.”
“Of course he is. What happened when you two went outside?”
“He cursed me. Against myself,” I say, picking at bits of fluff caught in the jackal’s thick coat. My smile fades and I keep my gaze on the motion of my hand. “If he tries to drag me back to the Shadow Realm, I’ll have no way to stop him. I can’t take myself out of the equation anymore.”
Cole sighs and takes a long moment before he responds. “I’m sorry, Lu. Even just seeing you both when we escaped… I understand why you would feel the need to have that option at your fingertips. For what it’s worth, I don’t think he intends to take you there. I think he’s just… afraid. Especially after what happened after you killed Ningish.”
“It’s still a shit move,” I say, taking a long sip of my wine.
“I know. But I think he was desperate. And he doesn’t know what to do. He’s a demon, after all. He doesn’t always do the right thing, even when he’s trying to.”
“The right thing,”I repeat, and when Cole meets my eyes I give him a teasing smile. “That’s just your former angel optimism talking.”
“Nah. That’s long gone,” he says as he sinks deeper into his chair, closing his eyes and crossing his feet on the coffee table.
I tilt my head as I watch him for a long moment. His face is as youthful and unchanging as always. It’s such a mask for everything he must have seen in his long immortal life.
“Why did you really give up your wings?” I ask, and he opens his eyes and watches me back. I hear the thud of his heart, a heavy beat of sadness.
“I lost someone I cared about a long time ago. I was supposed to protect him. It was my purpose. Loving him was an unexpected gift.” Cole looks down into his wine, swirling it against the glass. He lets go of a sigh before taking a sip. “I mourned him for a long time. I learned to live with grief. But I couldn’t find purpose again. It was like it always eluded me. So when this mission came up, I thought it would fill the void. At the very least, it would be a change. Maybe I still wanted to punish myself for failing to protect the one I loved.”
I spread my fingers and sweep them up and down through Urtur’s fur, watching as Cole spins his glass. A brief smile flashes across his face as his gaze stays caught in the ruby liquid, and I know he must be remembering some moment with this man from long ago. “Did you find what you were looking for? With your mission?”
Cole huffs a laugh. “Well, I found pain, that’s for sure. My time as a mortal was thankfully brief. There were some fun moments. Friends. Surfing. But a lot of terrible moments too. Like Eryx. Well, until that became a good thing, but that was a hard road for me to accept.”
