Page 85 of A Heart Of Bitter Poison
“Lu,” he says, and his face absolutely transforms with my name on his tongue. The smile reaches his eyes, crinkling their edges. His skin is vibrant in the dim light. His pupils shine. He looks…happy. I realize I’ve never seen him look truly happy before, not like this. Not ever.
It all slips into place, like a tightened stitch that brings a tapestry into view.
Every smile that he’s tried to contain, every shy look he’s turned away… He never thought he truly deserved something like this. For all his talk about making it hard to choose anything but him, or that the process had already begun, he didn’t actually believe it would happen. He was going to spend his immortal life reaching for something he never thought he’d grasp.
I curl my fingers around Ashen’s hand and pull it down from my mouth.
“Ask me,” I whisper. “Ask me what you’ve been asking me.”
Ashen’s eyes linger on my mouth. I see his throat bob as he swallows. It’s not just a thinly veiled joke this time, and he knows it. I can hear it in his heartbeat.
“Do you love me yet, vampire?” he asks, and his eyes find mine.
A smile spreads on my lips, so faint at first, but every tiny change in my face is captured in Ashen’s eyes. If I thought I’d seen happiness in him just a few seconds ago, it’s nothing like what I see when I say it out loud. “Yes, Ashen. No matter how hard I tried, I never stopped. I love you. And I choose you.”
Ashen holds my gaze for only a moment before his forehead drops to my shoulder and his body tenses, and I know he’s trying not to be swept away by everything he feels. I caress his back and press kisses to the side of his face. I hold him close to me and whisper it again.I choose you, Ashen. I choose you.
Ashen takes a deep breath as though rising for air from the deepest darkness of the sea, and then he dives back in, pulling me with him. His mouth is on mine. His hands touch every inch of flesh they can. He breaks away to kiss my jaw and my neck and my shoulder and then back up again. And he says the things he feels. He whispers about love, and relief, and even joy.
After a while we just embrace and lie wrapped in one another. My thoughts are drawn back to what Ashen said about decades passing in the shadow of regret and sorrow. How the days had bled together into a colorless wash. For me, those years in hiding were more about loneliness and the hollow, futile effort of trying to forget everything I’d given up to survive. Though we were walking separate paths, each step we both took was just another day of existing, not living. And then we arrived at the same destination and found something unexpected. Something imperfect. But despite its flaws, this is ours. Our own little realm where we choose one another. And I want to belong to Ashen as much as he belongs to me. I don’t want to give up more of the things I love when I have control over the choice.
Ashen pulls back and looks in my eyes. Those sparks are still there and the radiance remains in his skin, but I see the hint of nerves in him too. I smell it in the sharp note of citrus and the quicker beat of his heart. “How do we do this?” he asks, stroking the hair from my face.
“Very carefully,” I say, and I push his shoulder so that he rolls onto his back. He’s only wearing pajama bottoms and I tug them down, discarding them on the floor. He’s already hard and I grasp his erection, starting to stroke him slowly. “There is no going back. We’ll be bound by life and death. If one of us dies, so does the other. Are you sure about this?”
Ashen’s eyes don’t leave mine. “More than anything, vampire.”
I keep our gazes locked as I straddle him once more, running the tip of his erection across my center and then rolling it over my clit before going back again. Ashen moans as I coat the crown of his cock in my arousal and then draw more circles across my swollen clit. His hands slide over the satin nightgown and cup my breasts as I continue my motion, gripping the base of his length with a firm hand. I’ve heard how strong mating is meant to feel, so I don’t wait longer than a few more passes before I slide him into me, shuddering as I lower my body over his girth.
“The dagger,” I say, darting my glowing red eyes to his blade on the nightstand as I roll my hips in a slow and steady rhythm. He reaches over and passes it to me by the handle.
I don’t slow my motion as I bite into the wrist that holds his knife, hitting deep to keep a good flow of my thick blood. It runs down my arm in a steady stream as soon as I pull away.
“Drink three long pulls,” I say as I hold my wrist for Ashen to take. “Imagine something you want me to know about us. A secret or something you want me to see through your eyes. Keep that moment in your mind. And then expect pain.”
Ashen nods and takes my wrist, sealing his lips across the bite. Blood drips down onto his tattoos in fat drops.
I grip his shoulder as he takes the first pull. I feel his presence surge in my veins.
He takes the next drink. My hand grips tighter to the dagger as pleasure consumes me. It’s eating through my flesh like wildfire. I spread my legs wider, trying to take him even deeper as I roll my hips.
Ashen grips my arm. His chest surges with ragged breaths. He closes his eyes and drinks a third time.
I pull my wrist from his mouth.
And then I stab him in the chest.
My senses pick up every nuanced sound. Every crunch of sinew and slip of splitting flesh. Every muscle that tenses with pleasure and pain.
I guide the dagger in until the tip pierces his heart and then I whip it back out. I lean down and press my lips over the wound and I drink straight from his heart.
It only takes an instant for me to see what he wanted to show me.
I wake in the alley in Sanford.
The vampire’s prey lies nearby.
My head throbs. I sit up and place my hand against my temple, then against my chest. It burns. When I look down, the tattoos on my chest are marred by a red slash. Confusion weighs on me as thick as the mist of the werewolves. They are gone now. Andshe’sgone.
